Sunday, December 20, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Even though it's intended for those that are on or starting their journey, there's a lot of good stuff here that really made me think. Here's a couple examples (quoted text is from the book):
On weight loss: "The real issue was not "How do I lose weight?" it was "how do I begin to think about myself as someone who can lose weight?" She goes on to talk about she is convinced that it's how you think about yourself and how you carry yourself that leads to being a "former fat girl". Well, my ah-ha here was, "HMMMMMM, I don't think I think of myself as a former fat girl." I think that deep down even now I think that the weight will come back - it's only a matter of time. This is not good and something that I am working on changing. I agree that this "fear" is a defeatist attitude and will eventually lead to failure. Not because I can't do it and keep the weight off, but that I *think* I can't. Interesting stuff for me...
On her birth order: "Sandwiched in the middle was me---the peacekeeper, the please, the good girl, the one who didn't want to make any waves. I craved my parents' approval, but I was uncomfortable being singled out for any reason, good or bad." - WHOA! This struck home with me. I am middle child and good grief this is me. To this day I get uncomfortable being singled out and I am also all of those things that she described.
And this one I had never heard anyone say, but wow is this me. It's about her brothers and how they treated her. "...comments that might have rolled off other kids penetrated my spirit like needles in a cushion." My brothers TERRORIZED me with taunts and teases of "fat", "pig", etc. And guess what? I wasn't. I have always struggled with my weight, but managed to keep it relatively in check until I was hit with major depression (that's somewhere in my blog if interested). But it was nice to hear someone validate this as I seriously just thought it was me and I was 'too sensitive'.
Loved this in regard to her exercise. There are a lot of spots in the book that made me chuckle. I seem to recall that her goal was 3 miles or something. So she's describing a workout and recalls her thoughts at the time: "After all, we've made it through two whole miles. That's like fourteen in the Fat Girl time/space continuum, right?" ---OMG, that is funny isn't it??? Haven't you thought that exact same thing?????
And my new mantra: "It's not an option." Referred to in acronym form: INO. For me that's things like: Exercise = INO; Making good choices most of the time = INO, etc. Meaning exercise is not an option. It is the norm. Meaning it will happen because it is not an option, but a requirement. I plan to work on more detail of my "real" INO list.
Ponder this: "When I think about it now, I wasn't as much putting others before me as I was putting myself last. That might seem like a game of semantics, but it's not. My lack of self-confidence and self-respect made me feel like I didn't deserve to be first." Ah ha?
Another mantra: "How I spend my time is my choice." She goes on to talk about you need to realize that for the most part your "lack of time" for the most point is the result of your own choices and related to the previous blurb about "choosing" to put other people's need above your own. Hmmmmm
There are just so many others! "When in doubt, laugh." "Choose you. Choose you. Choose you."
Consider getting this book. For me, if I get one or two things out of a book it was worth the read. There were wayyyyyy more than that in this book.
Monday, December 14, 2009
So, what's been up? We decided that we are going to stop the bi-state thing (yipppeee!) and going to make it Texas. So, since that we have:
- Found a house, put in an offer, and close on it later this month.
- Prepared one house for selling AND put it on the market. (Fingers crossed it sells in a decent amount of time!)and
I acknowledged these feelings and said to myself to go to the gym if I want to and if I don't so be it, but that once every item was done on getting the house on the market, no excuses - back to the gym. Today was that day back and I figured I should also get back on track with the blogging while I was at it!
I didn't weigh in the entire time. I just didn't need the added stress. (This would have led to stress about not going to the gym, potentially gaining weight, feeling guilty, beating myself up, etc. etc.) Between sickness and all of this crap, I had not been to the gym in some time. And yep, I feel it. But I was back at it this morning and will be back there again tomorrow. I'll possibly weigh in Thursday, but I might also give myself a 'grace' week as long as I am continuing to eat what I am supposed to. (Note to self: you just need to be in your range. You do not have to be suddenly at the low end or below. Within the range is GOOD and it is your plan.)
I'm reading a good book too. I've had some 'a-ha' moments. I'll have to blog about that another time. Off to catch up on everyone else!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
- How long have you been banded? 4 years and 5 days. (OK, I don't really count the days, but it was just 4 years for me and I thought it was kinda funny.
- What was your highest pre-band weight? / Current weight now? / Total lost to date? 234 lbs / 138.5 lbs / 135.5 lbs
- What is your best "go-to" food to get in your protein? Any meat that is not overcooked. It does the best job of keeping me full for the longest period of time. Hmmm, ya think that's why they want us to eat it? ;)
- What is your favorite protein brand/shake? I use low carb Slim Fast - chocolate - in the can. I only use liquid when I have to. For example, had a bad pb experience, tight following hormone patterns, etc.
- What food do you miss the most now being post-band? None. I can eat anything I want in a small amount. The key is to make 'good' choices most of the time and when the choice isn't the best (and can bypass the band which the yummy stuff usually can) I am sure to watch portions.
- What is your favorite "mushy" food? Soup, but I've always been a soup freak. When I have it, I make sure that it is either one of those healthy canned ones (Obsessed with Progresso Sante fe Chicken) or I make it myself.
- What was your worst PB experience? The most recent one is here (a year ago!), but I bet there are others somewhere in my blog.
- What has been the hardest part of this journey so far for you? Honestly - I think it's all hard. You have to want it and no matter what anyone tells you, you earned your success. The band is not magic. (Maintenance is also hard!)
- What is your best NSV to date? Hmmmm, there are so many. I'll go with the cliche answer of looking good in my wedding dress.
- What is your top non-weight goal for your band? Man, this quiz is kinda hard. I can't think of an answer to this---maybe it's just from being at goal for a while.
- What is your goal weight or size? My goal weight that I set with my surgeon was 149lbs. I stayed there for a while and decided that I wanted to go to 139lbs. I am considering at the beginning of the year when all the weight loss insanity starts to consider seeing if I can get to 134lbs (100 lbs lost and see how that goes). I currently maintain between 138-142 lbs.
- What band "rule" do you live by (i.e. don't cheat on)? There isn't one because I'd be lying if I said there was. Sometimes I eat more than I should and sometimes I have soda - (alcoholic drink mixer, but I stir it well with a straw to get a good amount of the fizz out)
- What band "rule" do you not follow as much or aren't so good at? See above.
- What is your goal "reward"? You know - I didn't set one for myself. Or at least if I did, I forgot and don't recall getting anything. Maybe I should get one NOW! : )
- What are you most thankful for? All the other band bloggers out there and the comments that are left now and then on my blog. I enjoy reading everyone's journey!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
So, I'm not going to hit my workout goal for the month. My attitude is good though - it's oh well, out of my control. Oh, oops - not my posting goal either. : (
I'm within my goal range though (139 lbs), so some good news. Man, I have over 600 entries to read! I'm off to catch up on everyone else.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Sunday, November 08, 2009
2 - 65 mins - 4.6 miles
3 - 65 mins - 4.6 miles
5 - Off
6 - 65 mins - 5.3 miles
7 - 65 mins - 5.3 miles
8 - ?
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Friday, November 06, 2009
About Broccoli Slaw?!?! Yep, it's my recent addiction. All I do is take the slaw and mix it with Maple Grove Farms of Vermont Fat Free Balsamic dressing. The dressing is super awesome (yes, I am a valley girl tonight)! It has 40 calories for the ENTIRE bottle. Yep, 40 calories. And it tastes great!
- 65 mins - 5.3 miles - 16 more days to go
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
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Monday, November 02, 2009
- Post a blog entry once a day.
- Workout at least 20 days this month (5 days a week).
- Workout a minimum of 60 mins each time.
- On Thanksgiving (November 26), target weight is 138 lbs - low-end of target range.
- Setup a cool virtual route like Julie.
- November 1 - uh, none (Not a good start! But Sunday is usually a rest day for me.)
- November 2 - 65 mins (4.6 miles - in anticipation of setting up virtual route.) - 19 workouts to go.
- November 3 - 65 mins (4.6 miles) - 18 workouts to go
Whoa, am I feeling it today! I'm also sure it's going to continue for a couple days at least while I detox from all of this. Sugar - as in candy and crap like that - has a double whammy for me as I am hypoglycemic.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Well, the one in the all black is me in my fat suit Halloween costume. OK, not really, but I seriously couldn't resist. (I have a weird sense of humor.) This is me at 234 lbs.
Starting weight: 234 lbs
Current weight: 138 lbs
Overall loss: 96 lbs
Lbs to goal: 0
BMI: 21.0 - (Normal weight = 18.5-24.9)
Clothing size: 6. Sometimes even a bit loose and end up in a 4.
How many fills have you had?
- 1st fill – 1.2cc
- 2nd fill – 1.8cc
- 3rd unfill - was just too tight - went to 1.4cc
- 4th unfill - dilated pouch - complete unfill
- 5th fill - .6cc
- I think I went up some from here to about .8cc; then unfill to about .4 cc; then another to .2 cc - that's where I remain. There is .2 cc in my band. It's pretty much empty.
Are you going to stay at your current fill level?
Work on my "mojo". I need to set some new goals and figure out how to maintain my motivation.
What size clothes are you wearing?
6 pants/dress (sometimes a 4).
What do you eat in a typical day?
I always start with weight control quaker instant oatmeal with 1/2 oz of dried blueberries or cherries for breakfast. (Good source of fiber. Keeps me full without being too substantial to feel uncomfortable.) For lunch, pretty much whatever. If I'm tight - which you can tell over time - I'll have something soft. For dinner, I'm loosest then and eat pretty much anything. I pretty much stay away from pasta and bread entirely. When I do eat some, it might be a bit of pasta or crackers---pasta always has a lot of sauce. Dry meat has to have sauce. Chicken breast is tricky some days. Dry meat of any kind is a problem, but as long as what I eat is chewed well and within the amount I am supposed to have - I don't have any issues. (Update: Same answer as last year, but I have added more fruit to my diet.)
Was it worth it?
Yes, it was. I stress though that I would only recommend it as a last resort. I felt I was there. I could get the weight off, but just couldn't keep it out without exercising and watching what I ate ALL the time. Now, I live a life of moderation on everything and the weight stays off. Other than the gain of 15lbs that was totally MY FAULT and choice (via bad choices and not working out) I have remained the same weight or lost a bit. It was worth every penny and I was self-pay. (Update: Keeping this one the same as well. I need to go back and read that post about the 15 lbs.)
Have you had any problems?
Yes. You'll see in the beginning of my blog that shortly after my surgery I swore my stitches in my port popped. Everybody told me no way and not to worry about it. When I went in for my fill, it had. So it is on it's side. I still have not had it fixed, but you can now see a lump from it when my shirt is off and FEEL it. Feeling it is the grossest. I am considering getting it fixed. I have also had some problems with pouch dilation. People being too tight is BAD. The other thing is that your portion size is also very important. It can also lead to stretching of your pouch. Signs? Eating more than you used to and getting heartburn (aka - reflux). (Update: I haven't gotten my port fixed. I might, but I'd rather have some new boobs - lol!)
Have you pb'd?
Yep. When I was too tight, a lot. Now, I pretty much know how and what to eat depending on the tightness of my band. When/if I have problems, it is around my period. I have learned sometimes it is best not to fight it and let it happen. This seems to work for me and then does not lead to repeated pb's or irritation. Be sure to follow your surgeon's instructions for when this occurs. I find that I get very tight (swollen and irritated) and need to follow the instructions. I'll stay on fluids for a number of hours and then depending on how bad it is (believe me you get to where you know) I'll put myself on self-imposed soft foods for a day or two. Usually within a day I am totally back to normal. (Update: I'm not sure, but I'd guess that I've have 2 episodes in the past year.)
What rules do you follow?
Eat slowly. Take small bites. Don't eat first thing in the morning. When I feel full - stop. Don't drink with meals. No soda. That pretty much sums it up. There aren't a lot of them. These are pretty much the standard bandster rules. The latest addition is the first bite rule. I am sure to chew well and make sure it is small. There is some suspicion that not doing this may have contributed to the dilation. Again, no one knows for sure. (See the side.) (Update: Since my band is essentially empty, I focus on good choices and eating the *right* amount. If I eat hard foods like I am supposed to, guess what - full. If not, I have a little snack.)
Do you have loose skin?
Surprisingly, I'd have to say no. I wear a bikini and look pretty damn good for my age. Over time since I hit goal and continued to workout, I'd say that I even look better. Now, that being said, I'd like to have a boob lift. I don't think that has anything to do with the band though. Just age and gravity. Believe it or not, my boobs are THE SAME size they were before banding. (Update: my boobs are smaller. Seriously. I'm essentially the same weight, but I'm smaller - less fat I figure. So, my boobs don't fill the bra cups like they were. Me wanting new boobs is getting higher on the list.)
Do you 'diet'?
I guess most people would say yes. I'd say no. The bottom line whether you have a lapband or not is you have to make good food choices. I roughly follow Weight Watchers that my friend gave me all the scoop on. The daily points with the flex keeps everything in check. I have journaled my food and exercise since I was banded - except for the time that I put on the 15lbs. This is very successful for me. Conscious eating is critical. (No Update)
So what is all this about this 15lbs you gained?
Well, for about 5 or 6 months, I didn't work out, log my food, or make good choices. The good news is that I only gained 15 lbs. In the past, this would have been much worse. I also avoided the scale, so it was my clothes screaming at me that they were tight that woke me up. There were a whole lot of factors that contributed to my not caring - work stress, break up, just not caring - in fact, I think I was in a bit of a depression. Well, I kicked myself in the ass and got things under control. That is what you see referenced in the past 12 weeks or so. In those 12 weeks, with dedication and effort - and following all the rules - I lost 15.5 lbs. (Update - huh, guess this is what happened. It's funny how you forget things and how a blog can help you remember.)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Friday, October 09, 2009
- The band is in there and it is doing it's job.
- There are days that I have more tightness (restriction) than others. My personal experience and opinion is that this has to do with 'lovely' woman hormones.
- I need to eat what I am supposed to and also the amount that I am supposed to period. If I do, then I'm done. I will and can (giving myself permission) to eat more later if needed.
- Eating too slow is as bad as eating too fast. I can't remember the 'eating time' that I was given, but I think it was 20 mins max.
- Am I really hungry or am I emotional? Do my test - do I want something good for me or crap? If crap, not hungry period.
- If I HAVE to have crap. Then make it a portion-controlled conscious decision.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
- Monday - 4.6 miles treadmill (60 mins including warm up and cool down)
- Tuesday - 4.8 miles treadmill (60 mins including warm up and cool down) / 30 mins Wii EA Active Sports
- Wednesday - 4.8 miles treadmill (60 mins including warm up and cool down) / 30 mins Wii EA Active Sports
- Thursday - pending - I *might* take a day off - if so, then note to self: MUST workout Fri/Sat
Monday, September 14, 2009
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
- Tuesday - Steep incline - 60 mins on treadmill (including warm up and cool down) - 4.6 miles
Monday, August 31, 2009
- Friday- Plod (again) - 60 mins on treadmill (including warm up and cool down) - 4.6 miles
- Saturday - jog - 15 mins on treadmill (including warm up and cool down) - 2.5 miles / 1 hour walk on beach
- Sunday - 1 hour walk on beach
- Monday - varied - 70 mins on treadmill (including warm up and cool down) - 5 miles
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I can't remember which magazine I was thumbing through (wish I could!) when I stumbled across a story that essentially followed this chick around for a period of time. I seem to recall that pictures were taken maybe once a day of her in a swimsuit to document what she looked like. Then each day she would say how she felt: skinny, fat, etc. The funny thing is that she looked EXACTLY the same from picture to picture. I am trying to remind myself of this story because it is important. Bottom line if I stay within the 138-141 lbs range I AM going to look the same as well.
Another weird thing - when I do weigh in on the low side of my range it is like I don't believe it. I have to stand on the scale a few times to 'make sure' it is right. *SIGH* This is just the stuff that is going through my mind at the moment. Bottom line: the scale really isn't just a number. But then again, without it I can easily see how my weight could (OK would) creep up on me. In reflection, when I was gaining and heavy I NEVER stepped on a scale - if I didn't know what I weighed - somehow I could avoid the reality. Can you say DENIAL? : )
So, I have decided that with the good and the bad, the scale is my friend. : ) Weekly weigh in on Thursday will continue and as long as I am within my range I am OK. Workout goal: 4 times a week (That does not include walks or other activities, but real "I am working out" times). Anything above that is bonus.
- Weigh in Thursday - 138.5 lbs
- Workout - Thursday- Plod- 60 mins on treadmill (including warm up and cool down) - 4.6 miles
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
- Monday - Speed - 60 mins on treadmill (including warm up and cool down) - 5 miles
- Tuesday - Distance - 75 mins on treadmill (including warm up and cool down) - 6.5 miles
- Wednesday - Hills - 60 mins on treadmill (including warm up and cool down) - 4.75 miles
For exercise I change the goal (speed, distance, hills, etc.) and as appropriate also the duration. After my slacking off last week, I can definitely feel the workouts in my legs this week. I plan on doing a 'plod' tomorrow - which I define as easy pace for an hour on the treadmill that still gets in exercise, but in a way gives my body a bit of a rest as well.
On the food front, this being married "thing" helps out a lot. I think some people might find that strange as I have heard people say they got married and gained weight. For me, I find it helpful. Go figure? Because I like to cook and have someone to cook for, we eat at home except for 1 or 2 meals a week. Everything I cook is healthy and I cook enough for us to eat at dinner and then leftovers are usually used for lunch. So every night tends to be something different.
Planning on checking back in tomorrow. : )
Friday, August 21, 2009
I slacked quite a bit on exercise this past week, but with the multiple days of liquids I managed to stay within my 138-141 pound range at 139.5. But now there are no more excuses other than me being a lazy a$$ and I need to get to it!
Off to read other people's blogs!
Monday, August 17, 2009
- I usually try to have a mixture of food. It seems to keeps food moving. Eating just one type of 'real' bandster food can lead to getting stuck for me. Everyone is different.
- Eating at a bar at the actual 'bar'. Too many people and NOT paying attention. Talking and eating. What I refer to as not eating consciously.
- Hindsight - eating too fast, not paying attention, bites too big, not chewing enough, not eating consciously...what does this mean? STUCK!!!!
Funny thing (ok maybe ironic) - I swear this was the worst stuck experience I have ever had (Yep, worst than this one, but look - similarities!). My stomach hurt so badly afterwards and the next day that I honestly started to panic. I did the "absolutely nothing" for 4 hours and then sipped some water. It went down, but I still felt like crap. Had a few sips of water after that and nothing else period. All I had the next day was liquid and not a lot. My stomach still hurt. I figured OK, still keeping down liquids. Just give it some time.
Day 3 - still liquids, but tummy is feeling better. That night I had some mushy stuff and all still good. It's day 4 and I'm still only doing liquids most of the day with mushies in the evening. Feeling much much better - back to normal essentially and will try regular bandster food tomorrow.
I just wasn't in the mood to pay the $150 bucks to get essentially the instructions that I followed--my provider says that as long as you are keeping down liquids see how it goes. I am not advocating the approach I took above at all nor my provider (you should always follow the guidance of your provider), I'm just explaining why I didn't go to the doctor. (And, I'm writing like there are readers. That kinda makes me chuckle.)
I do expect that I will feel tight when I eat bandster food tomorrow. Let's be real - there HAD to be some major irritation, but if it is in anyway just not 'normal' tight I'll be making an appointment. The past few days have put a wrinkle in not only eating, but also going to the gym. The last thing on my mind was working out (ha). Going to try to get back to the gym as well tomorrow.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Thank goodness I got myself back on track relatively quickly. How? Stern talk with self: "What the HELL are you doing???? Just go!" and forced myself to go to the gym even though it was the LAST thing I wanted to do. Lucky me it worked and helped get me back on track. I am forcing myself to weigh in on Thursdays and also blog a bit more for the next month in the hopes that it will give me an extra boost of accountability while hubby and I are apart.
And, go figure? I'm at 139 lbs for the week. Funny how sometimes when you don't eat the best or workout as much that as long as you get back inline quickly there doesn't seem to be much damage. In my case, I'm down .5 from last week. More stern talk here though: MUST focus!!! Need to stay within my set range of 138-141.
(Secret thought though - man, it would be a good use of this month to get back around 135. But I don't want to put more pressure on myself, so will just see how it goes.)
Thursday, July 23, 2009
- Always eat correct portion sizes.
- Don't drink while I eat period.
- Make good healthy food choices (variety, variety, variety) and eat protein first most of the time.
- Hungry between meals? Ensure that it is 'real' hunger vs. 'head' hunger. Good choices = real. Bad choices = head. If good, then have a snack.
- Exercise a minimum of 3 times a week for 1 hour (5-6 miles jogging). 4 is better, but 3 is the minimum.
- The scale is only a number and does not dictate how I feel. Remain in window of 138-141, but know that a zillion factors can make the scale fluctuate. (That being said, don't rationalize a gain if/when there is one if behavior has not matched these basic items outlined in this list.)
- Remember other measurements such as clothes and fitness.
- Maintenance is hard. Weird how a goal to maintain just doesn't provide the incentive that losing does.
- Give myself a pat on the back now and then. I have been at my surgeon's goal weight for 2 years now. That goal was 149 lbs. I personally reset that goal lower and have maintained that for some time. My ongoing weight goal is 138-141 lbs.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
We are going to be separated for five weeks seeing each other only twice (two weekends) during the entire time. Longer apart than we've been married! I guess I should be used to it with how our relationship has been "doing the long distance thing", but this is a long separation even prior to us getting married. I get lonely at night and then ya know what happens!!! The food gremlins overtake my mind!
The good news is that while I have been eating more it hasn't been crap! (Yeah me!) But calories ARE calories. I will focus on the scale showing 141. Anything below that icing on the cake. Anything above - I think I will have a bit of a meltdown, but will just need to step it up and get more control over the eating and work out a bit more to get back within my range (138-141). I'd really like to be at the 138 regardless, so if I'm not I think for the next 4 weeks (this week we were separated as well) focusing on weight loss again for a bit.
Other things I need to remember when I weigh tomorrow (so I can re-read if I freak out!):
- My wedding dress was a size 6 and fit perfectly.
- My clothes all fit and are a size 4-6.
- I can easily jog 6 miles in under an hour. (Translation: I'm pretty dang fit for 40!)
- The scale is only one measurement (re-read the bullets above)
Note to Dalia: Congratulations on your banding! I am sure you will do great. Please let me know if you have any questions. Thanks so much for the compliment and good wishes. I had hoped that my blog would be useful to someone. I'm glad you have found it helpful.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Thanks for all the good wishes! I did get married and couldn't be happier! My dress did arrive - actually dresses - and I tried on the one that I liked the best as well as all my friends and it fit perfectly. Like it was made for me even, so that's the only one I tried on. (Picture to the left (not me) - it's from JCrew.) Funny what happens when you follow the size chart that they provide and use a measuring tape? : )
A week before the wedding and since then, I have found it pretty easy to stay on my routine of 4 or so workouts and good food choices most of the time. I swear that I have lost weight - clothes are looser - but don't have my scale with me to check. I thought about getting a scale, but figured that I am better off with just one that I go by. I guess I am feeling more 'stable' for lack of a better word and that is helping me stay on track.
I plan to weigh in next week though and see where I am. I'd like the looseness of my clothing to translate into a change on the scale, but as long as I am within my 138-141 range I'm good. (I'd rather have 135 though! Not going to lie!) I am definitely in much better shape, I can jog 5 miles in under an hour without a lot of effort. I need to consider increasing my intensity a bit or at least put in some intervals or something on some of the days. I'll have to think about that more and report in.
I do want to get on my soap box for a minute though as I read a lot of blogs etc. and speak about fills.
First the not going to mince words - No one should be tight enough that they are not able to eat solid food period. That is not the purpose of the band. Everyone should be able to eat *most* foods and should be eating a well-balanced diet.
Being at the right fill level and eating what I am *supposed* to has been key to my success. Did I have some bumps along the way? Sure. But I firmly believe that my long-term success has been that I recognize and live by the band as being a tool. It is still up to me to make good choices.
Think long and hard about whether or not you really need a fill or do you need a head adjustment? Are you eating what you are supposed to? Both in types of food and amount. (Remember - hard foods are what works - eat your protein first, have some veggies, etc.) Are you exercising? It is my opinion that if you are relying on the band to do all the work for you that you will not be as successful than using it as a tool. And don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people that are using the band that way, I just had to get this out cause it has been bugging me (again).
For anyone that is reading this and wondering, "Well smarty pants, how much do you have in your band?" I have about .1-.2 in my band. It's pretty much empty in other words. I am able to eat pretty much anything (some times of the month I can have problems with bread), but I ensure that I stick to the right amount of food (see right side of blog). I think that keeping my "pouch in shape" has also helped me tremendously. If I get hungry, I make sure I am craving 'real' food and not crap. If it is crap, then I am not hungry - it's my head/emotions. If it is 'real' food, then I have a snack.
Am I perfect? FAR from it! I have crap now and then in moderation, but since I am at goal and working out this works. It's a reasonable and healthy way to live without feeling deprived. Honestly, I think a before and after pic would go a long way to proving these points, but I am not comfortable with that. That being said, I am considering setting up a separate blog that I would lock down and provide access to people with their email address. If you are interested, please comment.
Here's some info from a previous post (guess this topic comes up now and then for me!) that I think provides some additional info...
Do you really really need a fill? Or maybe you just need...
- An eating change
- A behavior change
- An activity change
- Are you eating what your provider told you what you are supposed to eat? Or are you eating crap? Be honest.
- Are you avoiding liquid calories?
- Are you eating the correct portion size? Seriously, try it. You will likely see that if you measure everything and quit when full or when the food is gone that within about 15-20 mins that you are full. (Brain delay is what I call it.)
- Are you avoiding soft foods?
- Are you eating only 3 times a day? Or if truly hungry and not head hungry making a wise choice in snacks?
- Are you eating breakfast? (Even if a liquid one...My experience anyway was without breakfast of some sort it stalled my weight loss.)
- Are you eating CONSCIOUSLY? Paying attention to indications that you really are full? (Some people experience a runny nose, a burp, etc.)
- Are you grazing between meals?
- Are you drinking liquids while you eat?
- Are you eating when you aren't hungry?
- Are you moving? Like real exercise?
- Walk. No excuses not to. Work up the time if you have to, but I'd suggest 30 mins every day or with one day off. If you increase the time, then you can shorten the number of days.
- Get a pedometer. Walk 10,000 steps a day.
- EVERYONE has the time. Be honest about how much you sit around or watch TV. You can watch the TV at the gym while you are walking on the treadmill.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I don't want a traditional wedding and *shock* didn't even want an engagement ring. I'd rather use the money toward us buying a house wherever we decide to live. Oh, but don't fret, if I change my mind, I get one. He's feeling bad about not getting me one - says I deserve one, etc. (sweet, huh?). I kinda want one and then I go nope, but I just think it is cause I don't have a ring on my finger. When I have my wedding ring, I think I'll be fine. If not, I'll just get one, but I'd rather be sure. :-)
So what about him? It's a first wedding for both of us, but thankfully he doesn't want all the drama and complexity of a wedding either. If it was important to him, I would definitely do it. Thankfully it isn't.
We are having a ceremony and some hoopla, but it is only us. I think it is going to be great and am excited! I was hoping that I'd be more of a traditional bride with a big huge desire to get on a 'wedding diet', but unfortunately that isn't me! In fact, I am having to battle not eating crap 'cause some of it is stressing me out.
I'm waiting for some dresses to arrive and will post my final decision. No veil or anything and a simple dress that is something that is 'me'. I will be carrying a bouquet as well. I want the damn things to get here. I think the dress is stressing me out the most. I still suffer from some dysmorphia and didn't know what size to order. I forced myself to trust both the sizing chart and the tape measure. We'll see, but I just wish I had a dress selected that looks good and fits well. Worst case, delivery will be Monday. I'll update and I'll either be relieved or freaked out...
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
I will still continue to travel between two states as we figure things out. I have been settled in TX for a long time, friends, have a house, etc., but am very fortunate that my job will also be flexible should we decide that relocating is the next step (and has been flexible in letting me work remotely from another state). The delay in the decision to relocate is around his job. He needs to be sure that he likes it, etc. and that we can plan on a 2-3 year time period. It just seems to make the most sense to both of us.
I mind and don't mind the long distance. The 'I mind' part is when I start freaking out about where is this going and what am I doing. Which honestly is pretty stupid when we are both committed to this and are planning to eventually get married. That being said, it is hard to be so independent and then co-dependent (not in the bad sense, but from the perspective of taking into account another person - you married people know what I mean). The toggling is hard and vulnerability in general is hard for me as well because of some experiences in my childhood. Anyway, I've asked for a plan as it will help me feel like things are more stable. So, we are working on that.
I'm sure I'll have more blabbing about this as things go on...On the band front, really no news. I am still below my goal weight - guess I should just start saying that this is my goal weight rang - and stay within 138-141 lbs depending on what has to be water weight as my clothes continue to fit fine. So for now I am focused on maintaining. Maintaining to me is eating well most of the time and exercising most of the time. I check my weight and make sure my clothes are still fitting OK. It seems to work, so I am sticking with it for now. Bottom line - (and not to be a negative Nancy) - band or no band - diligence is important. Diligence and consciousness is important otherwise it's a slippery slope...
Sunday, May 03, 2009
- Surgery and while I didn't 'want' kids I always thought it would be my body going through menopause rather than a hysterectomy that would make that decision for me. (Yep, I know adoption is always an option, but unless you have been through this it is hard to describe the emotions, etc.)
- Complication - the on-going discomfort kept me from getting back on my schedule of at least exercising by working out.
- Anxiety because of separation from my guy. Is it real? Will it work out? When will he change his mind? (Yes, I have some baggage, but I am hoping it is carry-on size.)
- Bottom line - I went into a funk which really was a bit of depression. (Have been severely depressed in the past - medication, etc. - so knew the signs.
- I get a much better workout at the gym than outside. (I think I just work harder because of all the people around.)
- I have confirmed what I knew. I have the metabolism of a sloth. I guess you could look at it with a positive slant which is my body is extremely energy efficient and doesn't burn much. It's a green body. HA!
- It does kinda suck wearing it all the time on my arm, so I think long term it may be something that I wear just when I am working out.
- It was worth the money. I am back on track and overall I am feeling much better.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
I love this cartoon...I wish everyone a very Happy Easter and a Happy Passover!
All the test results are in. I have a bruised and an abraised bladder. Everything indicates it is healing, so there is nothing that needs to be done. It could take up to 3 months(!) for it to completely heal. At 3 months, they'll do another test just to make sure everything is OK. All good news as far as I'm concerned. It explains everything and the bleeding has gone down dramatically as well.
I have had some Easter candy this weekend. I am a SUCKER for candy and as all bandsters know candy goes right down without a problem. Oh well, it's a holiday, right? I'm planning on heading to the gym Monday, but doing 'strolls' in the meantime.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Nope it wasn't an infection. All the lab work came back negative. I am having some tests today and tomorrow to be sure that there isn't any damage to anything in my urinary track (bladder, etc.). I am sooo excited! Uh, not, but at the end of the tests it will either confirm that there is something up or that it is residual and nothing is wrong that needs to be done. The positive is that by the end of the week I should know and then can just move on. I am looking forward to that for sure!
I have been weighed at multiple doctor's offices and of course every weight has been different. I bit the bullet and weighed in today. Last time I weighed in I was 141 lbs. (I was less than that prior to the surgery, but I am going to conveniently forget about that. HA!) Today, 142 lbs - And, I'll take it! I haven't been doing any exercise, so I am happy with this.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
If I get a green light, then back to the gym Wednesday morning. My plan for this week is to walk an hour on the treadmill. My goal is in the next 45 days to have my mileage back up to where it was which was around 40 miles per week minimum. If I have gained anything, this will take care of it I'm sure. Funny thing is that my clothes still fit, so I am hoping the damage - if any - is minimal.
Dawn, Melody, and Jody V - You ladies are all right! A BIG thanks for adding the comments. It helped a lot. I haven't told him as we are going to be apart for the next couple of months. I thought it best to tell him in person and when we will be together for a bit of time to answer any questions / concerns that he has. I really wasn't looking for an excuse, this just seemed better for ME as I would be wondering what he is 'really' thinking and driving myself crazy with it (seriously and honestly shows that I am thinking what I need as well which is not a normal practice for me!). I'll have a better idea what is going on if we are together. Stay tuned on that.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Well, needless to say - over time he realized that I super wonderful (of course - ha!) and that we should give it a try. This was more than fine for me as this guy is a keeper and one that I would marry. As someone that never thought she would get married (never really wanted to) and has actually been engaged twice (uh, yep, I'm the REAL Runaway Bride - Julia Roberts movie) this is significant.
So where do I think this is headed? Actually to marriage. We have had many discussions about it, what each of us want, etc. I don't want a 'wedding'. I'd prefer that he get a ring, 'officially' ask me, and we just go get married.
My recovery has been challenging for both of us and frankly a little scary for me. As a 40-year-old woman that has always relied on herself and is very very independent it takes a effort of my part to let my guard down and fully let him in. I've been getting better at this over time, but also realize I have some more work to do.
How does this relate to my blog? Well, he doesn't know about my lap band. Nope - not at all. There are only 7 people in my life (none of which are family) that know about my surgery. I'm not sure how he will react, what he will think, etc. Yep, I'm scared about telling him as well, but I am going to have to tell him. When will I get the nerve up to do it is the question?
Monday, March 16, 2009
- I am going to cry and cry for no reason
- I am totally on edge and anything you say might set me off
As a lovely side effect of the surgery, although I was lucky to get to keep my ovaries, they have to switch blood supplies. During this time, some people (SOME people) get the joy of experiencing some menopausal symptoms. Guess what? I am SOME people!!!! I had a hot flash and said - I hope I don't have any more of these, which I haven't, but my hormones are OUTTA WHACK big time. Both 1 & 2 as described. UGH!
I have not been working out because I am still sidelined because of the surgery. I have been eating a lot better than I had been though and am hoping that I will end up maintaining as a minimum.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Where have I been? Working and traveling and just busy in preparation for my surgery which was Monday---puts me out for a couple weeks and then only 40 hours for the next 4. (40 sounds normal for most people, but I usually end up working closer to 60 each week.) My workouts went down a bit and eating went a little south as I was anxious about the surgery itself, but overall remained at my last reported weight. (Yeah on that!)
I am supposed to listen to my body and I should be able to start walking when I feel up to it. No jogging or anything until after 4 weeks. As long as I'm walking and watching what I am eating, I don't think this will be an issue.
I'd be wondering if I read on someone's blog what the surgery was - well, I had a hysterectomy. Turns out that I had cervical cancer come back for the third time and was sick of dealing with it. This is supposed to take care of everything. The downside is kids are not a possibility, but I'm old anyway and can always adopt. The upside - no more periods!!! (And yep, I did get to keep my ovaries.)
Please make sure that in addition to breast self exams that you are going in for your annual checkup which includes a pap smear. Honestly, if you have to have cancer this isn't a bad one to have. It is very slow growing and if caught early it's not so bad with a very good prognosis.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
For those of you that are in Australia (and happen to stop by my blog now and then), I hope you and your families are safe. I knew there were fires going on from reading the news online, but recently there has been a lot of coverage on the news here in the US. A horrible, horrible situation.
Mel - Thanks for the good wishes on my last post. I appreciate it. BTW - I LOVE the new outfit. Take a look at the pictures again objectively--meaning as if they are someone else you are looking at--- and you can see how much the outfit really just doesn't fit (in a good way - way too big!). You look fabulous in the new one!
Monday, February 09, 2009
Hope everyone else had a better week than me!
Monday, February 02, 2009
Sunday, February 01, 2009
I was planning that next weekend would be for cleaning since all the sorting was to be done. I'll have to see how it goes. There is definitely plenty of time to do the sorting as it's pretty much 10 hours of TV for the Super Bowl. Seriously, for those of you that don't realize the beating (I mean entertainment), it starts at noon. Kickoff is about 5ish and goes until essentially 10pm tonight.
So what's my problem? My problem is that I am having the desire to eat crap!!! I am going to do my best to refrain and remind myself that tomorrow is my weigh in day. I thought maybe if I threw it out here that it might help with the battle. Again, it's not hunger. It's emotional crap eating. The cool thing (trying to find something) is that I am so good at recognizing it BEFORE it starts. In the past, I would recognize it after the fact - so that's real progress! And I would have to say that I mostly am able to deal with it!
I worked out every day this week. Honestly - too much. It is contributing to the feeling of exhaustion and my legs are not sore, but just worn out. Hard to describe. Depending on how I feel in the morning, I might have to go ahead and take a day off to let my legs rest. Doing the elliptical is also an option. I jogged 54 miles this week. Too bad I ate all that crap on Saturday or I'd be more optimistic that I would see a huge loss tomorrow!! Here's the exercise stats:
- Mon - 80 mins
- Tues - 80 mins + 65 mins
- Wed - 120 mins
- Thurs - 70 mins
- Fri - 65 mins
- Sat - 65 mins
- Sun - 62 mins
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Bottom line - I can't use the drinks as the excuse. I was hungry and made bad choices. The candy - for me that slides right on by the band. So doesn't matter if I am probably already full, it goes right on down. I just plain didn't want to and wanted to eat a bunch of crap. Well, mission accomplished.
The good news - I am back on track today. That's the trick - do it - get it over with - and get back on track. In all honesty though I did do the beat up thing this morning and then said to myself - GET OVER IT AND SHUT UP. Cause it is over and done with. Nothing can be done about it now. Sometimes the self-kick-in-the-ass is quite effective for me! HA
What did I have? Nachos supreme with extra beans and a ton of fire sauce (Taco Bell really is a weakness of mine), Reese's miniature peanut butter cups, and Cadbury's milk chocolate. MMMMMM-mmmm-good I tell ya!
So, I won't - or I shouldn't be - surprised if I have little to no progress on my weigh in on Monday. Just thought of this - I just had my Superbowl party early! There is a lot of crap at Superbowl parties and this year I have decided to just stay home so I can get some things done around the place at the same time.
I am busy sorting out the house today. My friend that was here helped me get the stuff that I had piled in the garage to the donation place this morning, so I am going through the rest of the house. I've lived in this house for 12 years and crap - crap that I don't need or use I might add - has piled up. I just want it out. So, if I workout today, it will be later. If I don't, then I will for sure tomorrow.
Here's my exercise so far this week:
- Mon - 80 mins
- Tues - 80 mins + 65 mins
- Wed - 120 mins
- Thurs - 70 mins
- Fri - 65 mins
- Sat - **
- Sun - **
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I'm also having some surgery in early March that will take me out of commission for some time on the workout front. I'm not positive yet how long the recovery is, but I would like to get to 134 by the surgery if at all possible. My concern with the surgery has to do with the downtime and the potential for me to not only get outta shape (inevitable), but put on some weight (just not sure what is going to happen). I'd like to be at the lowest weight by then to help manage any weight gain. I will try to monitor and eat what I am supposed to (bandster food), but the reality is that it could very likely be a HUGE struggle.