MARRIED!

Thanks for all the good wishes! I did get married and couldn't be happier! My dress did arrive - actually dresses - and I tried on the one that I liked the best as well as all my friends and it fit perfectly. Like it was made for me even, so that's the only one I tried on. (Picture to the left (not me) - it's from JCrew.) Funny what happens when you follow the size chart that they provide and use a measuring tape? : )

A week before the wedding and since then, I have found it pretty easy to stay on my routine of 4 or so workouts and good food choices most of the time. I swear that I have lost weight - clothes are looser - but don't have my scale with me to check. I thought about getting a scale, but figured that I am better off with just one that I go by. I guess I am feeling more 'stable' for lack of a better word and that is helping me stay on track.

I plan to weigh in next week though and see where I am. I'd like the looseness of my clothing to translate into a change on the scale, but as long as I am within my 138-141 range I'm good. (I'd rather have 135 though! Not going to lie!) I am definitely in much better shape, I can jog 5 miles in under an hour without a lot of effort. I need to consider increasing my intensity a bit or at least put in some intervals or something on some of the days. I'll have to think about that more and report in.

I do want to get on my soap box for a minute though as I read a lot of blogs etc. and speak about fills.

First the not going to mince words - No one should be tight enough that they are not able to eat solid food period. That is not the purpose of the band. Everyone should be able to eat *most* foods and should be eating a well-balanced diet.

Being at the right fill level and eating what I am *supposed* to has been key to my success. Did I have some bumps along the way? Sure. But I firmly believe that my long-term success has been that I recognize and live by the band as being a tool. It is still up to me to make good choices.

Think long and hard about whether or not you really need a fill or do you need a head adjustment? Are you eating what you are supposed to? Both in types of food and amount. (Remember - hard foods are what works - eat your protein first, have some veggies, etc.) Are you exercising? It is my opinion that if you are relying on the band to do all the work for you that you will not be as successful than using it as a tool. And don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people that are using the band that way, I just had to get this out cause it has been bugging me (again).

For anyone that is reading this and wondering, "Well smarty pants, how much do you have in your band?" I have about .1-.2 in my band. It's pretty much empty in other words. I am able to eat pretty much anything (some times of the month I can have problems with bread), but I ensure that I stick to the right amount of food (see right side of blog). I think that keeping my "pouch in shape" has also helped me tremendously. If I get hungry, I make sure I am craving 'real' food and not crap. If it is crap, then I am not hungry - it's my head/emotions. If it is 'real' food, then I have a snack.

Am I perfect? FAR from it! I have crap now and then in moderation, but since I am at goal and working out this works. It's a reasonable and healthy way to live without feeling deprived. Honestly, I think a before and after pic would go a long way to proving these points, but I am not comfortable with that. That being said, I am considering setting up a separate blog that I would lock down and provide access to people with their email address. If you are interested, please comment.

Here's some info from a previous post (guess this topic comes up now and then for me!) that I think provides some additional info...

Do you really really need a fill? Or maybe you just need...

• An eating change
• A behavior change
• An activity change

An eating change

• Are you eating what your provider told you what you are supposed to eat? Or are you eating crap? Be honest.
• Are you avoiding liquid calories?
• Are you eating the correct portion size? Seriously, try it. You will likely see that if you measure everything and quit when full or when the food is gone that within about 15-20 mins that you are full. (Brain delay is what I call it.)
• Are you avoiding soft foods?

A behavior change

• Are you eating only 3 times a day? Or if truly hungry and not head hungry making a wise choice in snacks?
• Are you eating breakfast? (Even if a liquid one...My experience anyway was without breakfast of some sort it stalled my weight loss.)
• Are you eating CONSCIOUSLY? Paying attention to indications that you really are full? (Some people experience a runny nose, a burp, etc.)
• Are you grazing between meals?
• Are you drinking liquids while you eat?
• Are you eating when you aren't hungry?

An activity change

• Are you moving? Like real exercise?
• Walk. No excuses not to. Work up the time if you have to, but I'd suggest 30 mins every day or with one day off. If you increase the time, then you can shorten the number of days.
• Get a pedometer. Walk 10,000 steps a day.
• EVERYONE has the time. Be honest about how much you sit around or watch TV. You can watch the TV at the gym while you are walking on the treadmill.

Bottom line - if you are or are not doing the things above as appropriate to what I suggested and are not losing weight, then I think you need a fill. If you aren't doing these things and aren't losing weight, then I don't think you need a fill. That's my two cents and I'm sticking to it!

I'm Getting MARRIED!

Yep, that's right people, I'm officially engaged! And my wedding is the first weekend in July. Um, nope not of next year - that is THIS year! There is no reason to wait. It makes the bi-state working less stressful for me (my boss is great, but working in another state for your husband instead of your boyfriend just has a better ring to it).

I don't want a traditional wedding and *shock* didn't even want an engagement ring. I'd rather use the money toward us buying a house wherever we decide to live. Oh, but don't fret, if I change my mind, I get one. He's feeling bad about not getting me one - says I deserve one, etc. (sweet, huh?). I kinda want one and then I go nope, but I just think it is cause I don't have a ring on my finger. When I have my wedding ring, I think I'll be fine. If not, I'll just get one, but I'd rather be sure. :-)

So what about him? It's a first wedding for both of us, but thankfully he doesn't want all the drama and complexity of a wedding either. If it was important to him, I would definitely do it. Thankfully it isn't.

We are having a ceremony and some hoopla, but it is only us. I think it is going to be great and am excited! I was hoping that I'd be more of a traditional bride with a big huge desire to get on a 'wedding diet', but unfortunately that isn't me! In fact, I am having to battle not eating crap 'cause some of it is stressing me out.

I'm waiting for some dresses to arrive and will post my final decision. No veil or anything and a simple dress that is something that is 'me'. I will be carrying a bouquet as well. I want the damn things to get here. I think the dress is stressing me out the most. I still suffer from some dysmorphia and didn't know what size to order. I forced myself to trust both the sizing chart and the tape measure. We'll see, but I just wish I had a dress selected that looks good and fits well. Worst case, delivery will be Monday. I'll update and I'll either be relieved or freaked out...

Just being...

That pretty much sums it up. I've been busy with life. From my job to a cross-country relocation trip (7 states and 3,000 miles) with my BF as he starts a new job. Movers took care of the 'stuff', but the vehicle had to be driven. Everyone had said that one of the 'best' tests of a relationship is a cross-country trip together in a car. I'd have to agree. There were some bumps along the way, but we managed to make it through them and compromise (both of us!) and look back on it with amazement in the journey and also what we accomplished in a short time once we got here in getting the place ready.

I will still continue to travel between two states as we figure things out. I have been settled in TX for a long time, friends, have a house, etc., but am very fortunate that my job will also be flexible should we decide that relocating is the next step (and has been flexible in letting me work remotely from another state). The delay in the decision to relocate is around his job. He needs to be sure that he likes it, etc. and that we can plan on a 2-3 year time period. It just seems to make the most sense to both of us.

I mind and don't mind the long distance. The 'I mind' part is when I start freaking out about where is this going and what am I doing. Which honestly is pretty stupid when we are both committed to this and are planning to eventually get married. That being said, it is hard to be so independent and then co-dependent (not in the bad sense, but from the perspective of taking into account another person - you married people know what I mean). The toggling is hard and vulnerability in general is hard for me as well because of some experiences in my childhood. Anyway, I've asked for a plan as it will help me feel like things are more stable. So, we are working on that.

I'm sure I'll have more blabbing about this as things go on...On the band front, really no news. I am still below my goal weight - guess I should just start saying that this is my goal weight rang - and stay within 138-141 lbs depending on what has to be water weight as my clothes continue to fit fine. So for now I am focused on maintaining. Maintaining to me is eating well most of the time and exercising most of the time. I check my weight and make sure my clothes are still fitting OK. It seems to work, so I am sticking with it for now. Bottom line - (and not to be a negative Nancy) - band or no band - diligence is important. Diligence and consciousness is important otherwise it's a slippery slope...

Funk...

I've been in a funk. After the surgery and the complication and a long separation (which is still going) from my guy, I just landed in a funk. I'm not sure why. A few things that I have thought of:

• Surgery and while I didn't 'want' kids I always thought it would be my body going through menopause rather than a hysterectomy that would make that decision for me. (Yep, I know adoption is always an option, but unless you have been through this it is hard to describe the emotions, etc.)
• Complication - the on-going discomfort kept me from getting back on my schedule of at least exercising by working out.
• Anxiety because of separation from my guy. Is it real? Will it work out? When will he change his mind? (Yes, I have some baggage, but I am hoping it is carry-on size.)
• Bottom line - I went into a funk which really was a bit of depression. (Have been severely depressed in the past - medication, etc. - so knew the signs.

So what did I do? I looked for something to get me going. I decided that a new gadget might help me and I got myself a GoWear fit - It's essentially just like a BodyBugg, but much cheaper. (Essentially same functionality, made by the same company, etc.). I've had it since about mid-April and I'll post separately on it, but here's some things I learned:

• I get a much better workout at the gym than outside. (I think I just work harder because of all the people around.)
• I have confirmed what I knew. I have the metabolism of a sloth. I guess you could look at it with a positive slant which is my body is extremely energy efficient and doesn't burn much. It's a green body. HA!
• It does kinda suck wearing it all the time on my arm, so I think long term it may be something that I wear just when I am working out.
• It was worth the money. I am back on track and overall I am feeling much better.

Geez - I have to get caught up on everyone's blogs! (Hey, if any of you are thinking of getting a BodyBugg or a GoWear Fit and have questions, please let me know. I'm happy to share my experience and opinion.)

Happy Easter or Passover!

I love this cartoon...I wish everyone a very Happy Easter and a Happy Passover!

All the test results are in. I have a bruised and an abraised bladder. Everything indicates it is healing, so there is nothing that needs to be done. It could take up to 3 months(!) for it to completely heal. At 3 months, they'll do another test just to make sure everything is OK. All good news as far as I'm concerned. It explains everything and the bleeding has gone down dramatically as well.

I have had some Easter candy this weekend. I am a SUCKER for candy and as all bandsters know candy goes right down without a problem. Oh well, it's a holiday, right? I'm planning on heading to the gym Monday, but doing 'strolls' in the meantime.

Huh?

First - Thanks for the good wishes!

Nope it wasn't an infection. All the lab work came back negative. I am having some tests today and tomorrow to be sure that there isn't any damage to anything in my urinary track (bladder, etc.). I am sooo excited! Uh, not, but at the end of the tests it will either confirm that there is something up or that it is residual and nothing is wrong that needs to be done. The positive is that by the end of the week I should know and then can just move on. I am looking forward to that for sure!

I have been weighed at multiple doctor's offices and of course every weight has been different. I bit the bullet and weighed in today. Last time I weighed in I was 141 lbs. (I was less than that prior to the surgery, but I am going to conveniently forget about that. HA!) Today, 142 lbs - And, I'll take it! I haven't been doing any exercise, so I am happy with this.

Not exercising has affected me. I feel like I have less energy and honestly I just feel FAT! Something about working out for me addresses all that and I feel energized and healthy. Oh - and my sleeping isn't as good as it is if I'm working out either. If everything goes well this week, I'm back at it on Monday---not psycho, but build up working out. (I have taken some strolls around the lake, but definitely not exerting myself.)

Not surprised...

Have an infection and hopefully that is all it is. I'll take the antibiotics for 7 days and it should clear everything up. If not, then back to the doctor for more tests. Fever was over 101 this morning at the dr's office which explains why I have been feeling like dog poop. Doc said I'm cleared to go back to the gym when I feel like it. Right now - I don't. So, I will be vegging for a few more days.