11 Years!!

Another year! I'm still over running and only do it as part of my workouts and I haven't done anything about my port! At this point my surgeon has retired (shocking), but I can't even remember the last time I went in. I don't recommend this at all, but for me my band is empty and just there. Unless I start showing some adverse symptoms like chronic heartburn, etc. there just doesn't seem to be a need. I continue to workout 5 times a week religiously. I just treat it like a job and something that has to be done. It's not always easy to do and there are plenty of days I don't want to, but I suck it up. I continue not to weigh frequently. It just doesn't work for me and I easily get obsessed. I get dunked a couple times a year and have stayed between 15-18 percent body fat and go by my clothes. At this point I'm pretty in tune with my body and can tell when I'm getting "fluffy". When I feel that way, I clean up my diet. I do track what I eat to ensure that I'm eating enough and my macros are good. It definitely keeps me on track. Guess that's about it for another year! Take care.

10 years!!!

Looks like a year ago I was talking about going in to see what can be done about my port, that didn't happen. I guess I just got over it. I also got over running. :) I wasn't enjoying it anymore. So why continue doing something that I didn't enjoy, right?  In a nutshell, other than sidelining running, no real change from last year, but that's good news and I'll take it.

Nine Years!

Ironically I was watching the most recent episode of Bigge$t L0ser and it turns out the football player had the band and I thought wait a second it's nine years TODAY for me. The player said it was one of the worst things he could have done because it didn't work and for him it was all about his mental state. B0b followed that up by saying that the band doesn't work in the long run because it doesn't address where the weight came from and you can't put a band on your brain.

While I don't think the band is the worst thing I have done, for me, this perspective is completely true. It wasn't the band that led to my long-term success, it was working on my own personal issues through counseling, etc. that I believe is the true foundation. And sure, I lost weight with the band, but I didn't achieve what I call my real results until I started working on me.

I think probably the most shocking thing for people to know about my journey at this point is I am eating more food on a daily basis then I ever had. My target calorie level on workout days is 2000! And, part of the goal is to ensure that I get all my calories in for the day within a targeted macro breakdown. Macros can roll people's eyes into the back of their head, but turns out that my diet with a few minor tweaks was naturally hitting the macros, but not high enough in calories. Imagine the shock of being told to eat MORE calories! I saw some pretty shocking results with these changes. My body fat dropped from 19 to 15 - measured in a dunk tank (hydro static). Pretty amazing stuff!

What bugs me - and quite often - is my port. It's visible and I think it looks like a tumor - so I'm self conscious about it. I can't remember how many years it's been at this point since I've had any fluid in my band, but it's been a lot. Lately I've been thinking more and more about having the port removed and might consider having the band removed entirely. I think having the port removed would be pretty minor, so we'll see....Until next year!

Testing? Testing? Is this thing on?

Just a quick check in. I continue not to weigh on a scale, but I think I am the fittest I've been since I was in college. For grins, I might get my body fat tested before my official 9 year milestone to see where it is now vs. 2012. Plus I think knowing my R.M.R is important. It allows me to ensure that I am eating enough to maintain lean body mass. Somewhere I posted about being skinny fat and this is related to that. In a nutshell - lean body mass = good (needs and eats calories) and fat = bad.

Anyway, in case there's anyone following, wondering, or should anyone stumble across this blog that is somewhere in their journey or struggling, I wanted to confirm that after 9 years, I continue to maintain. You really can do it! YOU, not just me. Yes, it's hard and yes, it takes effort, because there is no magic pill. Believe and make it happen.

I'll post more details in November and if anyone is wondering anything, please let me know.

In the meantime, be well and try out what I've been using as a mantra lately:

• Wake up and be awesome!
• Smile. Choose to be happy!
• When it seems like nothing goes right, go left!

Eight years...

I used my fingers and getting close to needing my toes to confirm it has been eight years! My math is right, huh? The demise of g reader really took the wind out of my sails blogging wise when I lost links to the blogs I followed and maybe it was really the remainder of the wind as I sure wasn't posting often!

I've continued from where I left off last year and the post from last November has detailed information should anyone be interested. 

But what has changed? I guess me emotionally. I'm more settled and comfortable in this version of me. I workout often, but I also skip at times just 'cause. I completed four half marathons this year and my cheerleader husband is pushing me to run a full. Who knows, never say never. 

I will continue to check in at least every November. I hope this post finds people where they wanted to be and for anyone just starting out to know that you can get there. (Really you can!) Be well.

Motivated?

Someone said to me the other day at camp, "you are just so motivated." I've been thinking about it in the back of my mind ever since. It just bugged me. Not in a bad way, just in a why the heck doesn't that sound right to me way.

I'm not motivated. I think I was when I started this journey. I was extremely motivated to lose weight and make necessary changes to keep it off. That motivation kept me focused on making good choices, exercising, and working on the mental me. But now, I'm not motivated. I am committed though.

I'm committed to exercising because I should and I can. Most days I'm not motivated at all and I'd rather sleep in. I just suck it up and go.

I'm committed to making good food choices most of the time. Frequently I don't want to and continue to fight the inner fluffy me that wants, and oh so loves, crap food. But I'm committed to staying off the slippery slope.

So, I'm committed, but not so motivated...I think that's alright though.

2013 1st Quarter (non) Results

I used to track my food and my weight and dumped both of those at some point along my journey. Now after two years of tracking my wellness goals I'm ditching tracking that too.

I haven't fallen off the wagon or gained weight (well my clothes fit fine). It's just part of my journey. It's been approximately 7.5 years and I'm trying to continue to progress. My goals: not obsessing about my weight, what I'm eating, or how much I'm moving. I don't think anyone's journey is the same, goals are different, and it takes a lot of hard work to figure out what works along the way and for me, to recognize when something is no longer working and change it.

Tracking was becoming a P.I.T.A, something I was forgetting to do, and much like food tracking and definitely the scale it was adding stress. Who doesn't have enough stress that is out of your direct control that adding to it yourself is just a little crazy? :)

Since the year started, I've been at boot camp a minimum of 5 times a week, I've gone for a run when I felt like it, completed some races with friends because they were doing them, and finished a half marathon. So, in reflection, I'm pretty much tracking to my goals, just not tracking them. This is working for me now, so I'm going to keep working it. I doubt I'll post much, but I will plan to post something every quarter.

Wellness Goals - 2013

2013 goals:

Boot camps. Goal: 200 camps. Stretch Goal: 240.

• Same as last year.

Training/Race Total Miles. Goal: 225 miles. Stretch Goal: 250 miles.

• Same as last year. While I exceeded it by a lot last year, I'm leaving it the same and might raise it depending on how I am trending. (I exceeded last year's goal, because the weather Sept - Dec was perfect!)

Half Marathons. Goal: 2. Stretch Goal: 3.

• Same as last year.
• This total does not include the half marathon that I will run with my buddy Dawnya to support her if she selects one this year. If we run one, I'll increase this both goals by 1. No pressure, Dawnya, for real.

5K, 10K, 15K or other races such as obstacle races. Goal: 3. Stretch Goal: 5.

• Changing from last year to much lower. Right now I am at a point where I have in the past couple of years done a sampling of all the races I wanted to do. There are a couple races that I like to do every year, so there is still one with a "goal" attached to it, but I am addicted to MEDALS!

PAST RESULTS
2012 - 3rd Quarter Results
2012 - 2nd Quarter Results
2012 - 1st Quarter Results
2011 Year End Results
2011 - 3rd Quarter Results
2011 - 2nd Quarter Results
2011 - 1st Quarter Results
2011 Wellness Goals

Closing Out Wellness Goals 2012

I am happy with where I ended up against my wellness goals for 2012, but I need to get cracking on 2013. Where did 2012 go?!

Boot camps. Goal: 200 camps. Stretch Goal: 240.

• Year End: 261

Training/Race Total Miles. Goal: 225 miles. Stretch Goal: 250 miles.

• Year End: 446.8 miles

Half Marathons. Goal: 2. Stretch Goal: 3.

• Year End: 2

5K, 10K, 15K or other races such as obstacle races. Goal: 5. Stretch Goal: 7.

• Year End: 6 

PAST RESULTS
2012 - 3rd Quarter Results
2012 - 2nd Quarter Results
2012 - 1st Quarter Results
2011 Year End Results
2011 - 3rd Quarter Results
2011 - 2nd Quarter Results
2011 - 1st Quarter Results
2011 Wellness Goals

Seven Years

...And not much to say! I read my posts from last year and think they do a good job of covering this year too. Links:

Post 1 - The Basics
Post 2 - Goal Weight
Post 3 - What It's Like Now
Post 4 - The Secrets of the Band...revealed!
Post 5 - Misc. Band Thoughts

This and that to fill in the gap!

I can't leave this big break in posts and look back at it years from know wondering WTH - where was I during this time and what the heck was I doing?

Busy and tired, but keep plugging along. The culprit: work. Too bad I didn't hit the big one in Vega$! I did step out of my comfort zone and played black jack with my husband and we walked away from our gambling a bit up. Don't fear Vega$ tourist bureau, we left our donation! We stayed at a fabulous place, ate at an obnoxiously expensive restaurant so we could say we had, walked I don't know how many times up and down the strip during the day and night because the weather couldn't have been any better, and went to a couple shows.

It's been a bountiful year for c0pperhead snakes! They are always around, but this year has been horrible. My puppy was bitten and I was right by her when it happened. I freaked out, but had the presence of mind to immediately grab her and get her to the ER. Thankfully she has recovered, but it was a horrible experience for all of us. My husband has probably killed 10 of them this past month alone. (Sorry animal lovers, but they come back (if they even leave) and have more babies the next year.) My yard is not doing me any favors, but not sure what to do about it other than consult with wildlife c0ntrol which I have scheduled.

Like a lot of people, I'm a fan of p1interest. I find a ton of recipes (yep, even made a few) and crafts. I've been doing some projects here and there when I can find the time...here's picture proof!

 Next month it will be 7 years since I was banded. Where does the time go?!

Wellness Goals - 3rd Quarter Results (2012)

As my buddy Dawnya pointed out when she tracked me down (thanks!), I haven't posted much. I've just been stretched for time this quarter--changes at work, "puppy pains", and too many other things to list. I hope everyone that made it to b00bs this year had a blast!

1. Boot camps. Goal: 200 camps. Stretch Goal: 240.  

• This now includes camps and boxing...So far 198 camps/boxing.

2. Training/Race Total Miles. Goal: 225 miles. Stretch Goal: 250 miles.

• So far 317.8 miles. 
• As expected, running is dropped off due to heat. This quarter's total is only 47.3 miles.

3. Half Marathons. Goal: 2. Stretch Goal: 3.

• Holding steady at 2.

4. 5K, 10K, 15K or other races such as obstacle races. Goal: 5. Stretch Goal: 7.

• Holding steady at 5.

2012 - 2nd Quarter Results
2012 - 1st Quarter Results
2011 Year End Results
3rd Quarter Results
2nd Quarter Results
1st Quarter Results
2011 Wellness Goals

Cheap Fills

Since I was self pay, this journey has been expensive (but worth it). I think my fills we're included the first year, but after that I had to pay and each time it was very expensive.  I saw a billboard on a major highway here in Dallas about $50 fills. I checked it out online and for $50 you get it done under fluoro, they accept anyone, and it is a bariatric surgery of excellence. I wanted to share it in case anyone has been looking for options. Here's a link. 

Boxing Round 2

I knew I was a boxing hack, but it was confirmed by one of the trainers. This trainer goes around with mits during his class. You do the combination on the mits vs. the bag when he works his way around to you. I knew it was going to bad. .

He's at my bag and I'm a deer in headlights. I can't remember the stupid combination which I have to concentrate really hard on at all times anyway. He's in position, but I'm not. He reminds me of the combination which I proceed to get all hosed up. I try again and am thinking "omg, this is not going well!".

Confirmed! The trainer says to me, "That was really bad." Thankfully I pretty much take feedback in stride, I laughed and responded with, "I know, right?" (This trainer is a serious boxer, I do not think he intended to be so candid and could see that after he said it he immediately had an "oopsie" moment. I think he was relieved that I laughed it off. He has an awesome class and is a good guy. For real.)

Have you ever been warned about providing the gift of feedback though? Well, after class I went straight over to the desk and signed up for a couple sessions with this trainer to work on my fundamentals. I then found him and gave him the "good news" that he could now help me not be such a hack!

I'm currently doing my own version of insanity for 30 days. My first session with him I had camp in the morning and then figured what the hell I will do his boxing class first and then the session with him. Talk about a man on a mission! To kill me that is. HA! I can't even begin to tell you how good he was at answering all of my stupid questions (there were lots trust me) and really working on my fundamentals. I had a ton of, "so that's how I'm supposed to be doing it" moments and he said that I was night and day from when I started the lesson. Honestly, I had no where to go, but up. Just sayin'.

I have a whole new appreciation for the sport. I knew it took skill and was hard, but dang there are so many things to remember at one time! Hands up, elbows in, guard, foot position, hips, etc. But I am enjoying the new challenge!...sadly, I have recognized that a pro career is not likely...while my skills are lacking, the whole hitting another person is a huge stumbling block...go figure!

Workout Shake Up

 Float like a butterf1y, sting like a bee. His hands can't hit what his eyes can't see. Now you see me, now you don't. - Muhammad Ali

I am a boxer. Ha, not. But I am mixing boxing into my workout routine. The club is dedicated to boxing and kickboxing only. The boxing classes are the real deal - wraps, gloves, and 100 lb bags and taught by boxer/MMA professionals.

My husband was interested in going with me to try it out and he absolutely loved it. Man, can he punch a bag! At this point, the fundamentals and combinations are hard for me and I have to think a LOT. I'm sure that watching me wrap my hands alone is pure entertainment by the amount of concentration it takes and how many times I have to start over!

I can't say that I love it (yet?), but I do love that my husband enjoys this workout as much as he does. We have been going together on the weekends and I have mixed in a class here and there during the week. Isn't there a saying that goes something like couples that box together stay together?

Hydr0-Static!

Quite some time ago I moved away from weighing myself. I've relied on my clothes and measurements since, but I decided I needed something to give me a little "oomph". So, I decided I wanted to find out my overall body composition (body fat to lean mass). Hydr0static underwater weighing is considered to be the gold standard for determining body composition and I did it last week! I will repeat the test early September.

It's essentially a dunking in your swimsuit (gah!) and you have to blow all of your air out underwater. You don't blow it all out, then your body fat percentage will be higher. The first time I totally sucked and I said to the guy, "that was bad, huh?". He laughed and said "uh, yah, really bad". Eh, what can you do? I'm not really a big fan of being underwater. It's an average of 3 times, but he had me do it 4 because he said the first one was so off he wanted to throw it out.

There are a number of charts for "ideal" body fat percentages. On the ACE chart I'm considered "Athletes" and on Jackson & P0llock I'm "lean" (link). But I've set a goal to take a couple percentage points off (fingers crossed) with some minor modifications to what I'm eating for no other reason than "just 'cause" and to hopefully get over my underlying blahs. We'll see when I have it done again in September!

Next -shaking up my workouts...

It Happens

My journey never ends, it just changes.

Weight loss: Losing brought great satisfaction, excitement, and joy. Not losing was so frustrating! But the goal was still out there and I was going to get there come hell or high water!

Maintenance: First there was the celebration. The "OMG, I made it." I think that was followed by this honeymoon period of joy and on the other side freaking out a bit about whether or not I was dreaming. Could I actually maintain it, etc.

Maintenance II: I pretty much settled in, but because of the changes I had made in activity and diet I lost more weight and what was more exciting to me lost body size and gained strength.

Am: Then the "am" phase hit. As P0peye would say, I yam what I yam. I am this new person that after nearly 7 years since I started this journey many people (including my husband!) only know me this way and have no idea what I looked like before.

Past behaviors still surface at times in this "am" period. I've seen pictures of myself and started picking myself apart, put on clothes that just don't fit as well as they did the previous month, eaten too much crap in one sitting (one bag of puff Ch33tos probably took care of that particular craving for the next 7 years), skipped a workout or two, and too many others to list. I continue to work on avoiding "all or nothing" thinking and that when something happens it is not the end of the world. It's life, $hit happens.

Oh how I wish that I could say that my journey was and is easy and that it doesn't take any effort. Unfortunately, it hasn't been. Many days it's just plain tough. On those days that I am tired of all the effort, I try to suck it up and keep on going. Some days it works and other days it doesn't, but that's also life.

Lately it's been taking more effort. I'm not off the wagon, it's just been harder with more instances of me thinking UGH and the I-don't-wannas. I think I need to change things up. I've been doing bootcamp for nearly 2.5 years straight. It might be time for a break and on to something else.

Sugar & Fake Sweeteners

My biggest challenge are the c-words - candy, cookies, and cake. I am not part of the "I'll just have one" or the "I can take it or leave it" clubs. I so wish I was, but I'm not. I'm a card carrying member of the "one can lead to many and many can lead to continuous days of crap" club....Maybe you are also a member?

Helpful people will say oh come on one won't hurt you or just have a little or you can control yourself or look at you, you can "afford" to have some, or fill in the blank. I agree in concept, but that is not my reality and I thankfully moved out of denial into acceptance some time ago.

Ironically, I have never put sugar in my coffee or tea or been a fan of sugar soda. But I have excessively used fake sweeteners. I've been reading more about artificial sweeteners in the past few months which has made me rethink my use of these products as well. When I'm honest with myself, I was getting my sugar "fix" in the morning by adding many of these packets to my morning beverage.

The past couple months have been interesting. I've eliminated artificial sweeteners from my iced tea by switching to green tea which I prefer unsweetened (and green tea has a bunch of other health benefits as well) and I use one packet of a stevia product in my morning coffee.

I am also paying attention to added sugar in things I buy at the store. While labels don't break out naturally occurring sugar (such as from fruit) vs. added sugar, I use the ingredient list in conjunction with the sugar gram listing to make a best guess. The higher sugar or high fructose corn syrup is listed on the ingredient list means more of those listed sugar grams are added sugar. If it's high, I then decide if it's something that me (or my husband) need to be consuming. This has led to me making more things from scratch that I used to buy as a mix, meals from scratch, and moving away from "lowfat" products that tend to have more sugar with the removal of the fat.

Side Bar: Naturally occurring sugar for me is sugar in fruits. This can be debated forever and I appreciate all the perspectives, but mine is come on - it's fruit and I'm eating it! If it is no sugar added frozen or fresh, then I don't sweat it. And, fruit doesn't cause me any desire to over consume.

All of this doesn't mean that I don't have c-words now and then or that I don't also slip at times (even some big slips), I'm human and far from perfect. But I try to indulge only in a controlled fashion - out of the house at dinner or a run to the frozen yogurt store. I am just not someone that can have these things in my house. Period.

Things I do to stop the madness:

• Keep c-words out of the house.
• Pay attention to labels for added sugar.
• Eat regular meals - avoid getting too hungry.
• Exercise.
• Consciously make choices. Am I really wanting this c-word or am I trying to mask a feeling?
• Stay hydrated...with water or other unsweetened beverages.

Other Items:

• Puppy has been growing like a weed. Sometimes I'm hanging with her and I look at her or she does something and I just crack up. She was a great addition to our family...well, unless you ask the cat.

• I went on a short vacation to a resort that was totally relaxing. Everything was great, except the food. But we decided to go with the positive and tell ourselves that there was no way we were going home having gained weight!

• I'm considering an end-of-summer half to see if that can somehow motivate me to suck it up with some long hot runs. I'll see how it goes.

Wellness Goals - 2nd Quarter Results (2012)

July seriously snuck up on me! But it's here and I scrambled to put together my data to see where I ended up for the quarter. I'm on track and surprised at my total mileage from my log, but no worries the heat has set in and I just don't enjoy long runs so I'm not planning on doing any...but it's a bit of a head game too because when it starts cooling off and I go to up my mileage again it pretty much sucks too. There's pluses and minuses either way. Eh, I'll think about it more another day.

1. Boot camps. Goal: 200 camps. Stretch Goal: 240.  

• So far 133 camps.

2. Training/Race Total Miles. Goal: 225 miles. Stretch Goal: 250 miles.

• So far 270.5 miles. 
• As expected, running is dropping off. This quarter's total is only 76.1 miles.

3. Half Marathons. Goal: 2. Stretch Goal: 3.

• So far 2. I was registered for a 3rd, but deferred due to injury.

4. 5K, 10K, 15K or other races such as obstacle races. Goal: 5. Stretch Goal: 7.

• So far 5. Same as first quarter. .

2012 - 1st Quarter Results
2011 Year End Results
3rd Quarter Results
2nd Quarter Results
1st Quarter Results
2011 Wellness Goals

Frit0s and other stuff

• All the red wine I've had this past month is OK, because it's good for me. Check this out.

• I don't get the "Oooo, I love puppy breath". Really? Stinky. 

• I had registered for what looked like a neat half this coming weekend, but they were looking for people willing to defer to 2013. Between my husband being gone most of last month and the new puppy, I deferred. (There's a bit of a foot issue at the moment too. More on that in another post.)

• Why do dog feet smell like frit0s? Or, maybe the real question is why do frit0's smell like dog feet? Hmmm, why was I smelling her feet anyway?!

• I have not had Fuzzy*s since I posted about it. Serious withdrawal....maybe tonight?

• We are officially going on vacation in July! Everything is scheduled and paid for, so no excuses. I am counting the days.

• I missed having my husband at camp. I didn't expect that as camp was "my" thing, but I've discovered I like it being "our" thing.

• I plan on sleeping a lot more now that I found this article that talks about how the link to sleep and obesity has been overstated. Now, if I can just find the time to get 9 hours of sleep in!

• Thank goodness it's FRIDAY! Happy weekend!