Thursday, May 05, 2011

Six Month Separation - A milestone.

I. Don't. Know. What. I. Weigh. And, go figure, it's not because I am hiding from it!

My journey evolved into much more than weight loss. When I started in 2005, I was clinically despressed and I believe I had hit bottom. Since then, I have come to terms with several things personally and professionally that led to personal growth and improved mental health.

Striving for a lower number on the scale was a big incentive, goal, and way to measure my progress. But over time I started feeling that number was influencing my mood, adding stress, and even a little obsessive thought. It seemed to be turning counter productive for me as my maintenance journey progressed. In November 2010, I decided that it was time for a trial separation from the scale.

I told myself I could weigh before Christmas if I wanted. I didn't. I told myself I could weigh after the first of the year. I didn't. And so on. Why? I am actually smaller than I was in November at 129 lbs. And, reality is that if the scale said that I weighed more than 129 lbs would it really matter? Logically, hell no. I'm thinner, fitter, stronger, and healthier than I was in November. But my pea-sized brain doesn't always stay in logicland. So for now, I just don't need to know the number, but again logically I know I have to be right around that same number (come on pea-sized brain!) .

I'm not sure if this separation from the scale will lead to divorce or not, but for now it's working for me to focus on how fit and healthy I feel and how my clothes fit. Sometimes I miss my scale and I even open the cabinet door to look at it and have a "should I or shouldn't I" conversation, but so far I just sigh and close the door. It's funny how the journey takes you places you couldn't imagine going...embrace and enjoy it!

10 comments:

Lap Band Gal said...

Great post! I still weigh everyday...I wonder if I will get to the point where you are and use other indicators for "health"? Hope so! :-)

Cat's Chic Chat said...

Hi you! I absolutely love your before and current pictures. Such an amazing journey you're on. I watched Lap Band Gal's blog that said the band company even recommends weighing in more than once a week...but I don't understand why. Perhaps I'll do some research. I love that you are not tying your emotions to the scale. I cannot wait to get there.

Island Bandit said...

Let me start by saying I'm not there... not even close! But I felt I had a moment today when I went to my surgeon's office for the mandatory weigh in and they'd changed the scale... and no... they didn't bother to get a reading from all the scales in the office before they got rid of the old ones to see where they all were in relation to each other..... It had me up a pound from my last weigh in two weeks ago.... and i'm not concerned. i don't know if i'm legitimately up, the same or down. i do know that my size 8's are still baggy and i could wear a size six if i had them and that's what's important to me. i also know that if my bowels were functioning the way normal peoples' do that i might have been down another pound or two! lol

Beth Ann said...

Oh geez, Fluff. I can't even believe those first two are you. Not possible. :) I love where you are (mentally) and I'm working to catch up. I'm learning that there are other great indicators, but I think it will be a few pounds before I can even consider losing the scale. Someday!

MandaPanda said...

I find the scale very motivating in the "losing" time. I could see where it would feel differently during maintenance. A couple pounds up and I'd probably freak. It might also be a little bit of a letdown after seeing losses for so long...you know...a tough mental switch to being happy that it stays the same?

FitBy40 said...

I'm not quite there yet but I am finally at the point where I'm not weighing every day. 3-4 times a week is enough for me now to make sure I'm on track. So glad you have 'arrived'!

Jody V said...

Love all your posts Fluffy!! They have so much meaning.

Rebecca said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sam said...

Congrats on going the six monthsn without the scales, I sometimes wonder if I would be better off with that sort of seperation. I'm thinking on it :o)

Silverhairedgoddess said...

The scale can cause depression or happiness with me too.

I do not have a scale in my apartment cause I would be tempted to weigh all the time but I do weigh once a week in three different places, in my surgeon's office, my nutritionist's/personal trainer and at a weekly support meeting - all the scales weigh me differently!