Thursday, August 02, 2012

It Happens

My journey never ends, it just changes.

Weight loss: Losing brought great satisfaction, excitement, and joy. Not losing was so frustrating! But the goal was still out there and I was going to get there come hell or high water!

Maintenance: First there was the celebration. The "OMG, I made it." I think that was followed by this honeymoon period of joy and on the other side freaking out a bit about whether or not I was dreaming. Could I actually maintain it, etc.

Maintenance II: I pretty much settled in, but because of the changes I had made in activity and diet I lost more weight and what was more exciting to me lost body size and gained strength.

Am: Then the "am" phase hit. As P0peye would say, I yam what I yam. I am this new person that after nearly 7 years since I started this journey many people (including my husband!) only know me this way and have no idea what I looked like before.

Past behaviors still surface at times in this "am" period. I've seen pictures of myself and started picking myself apart, put on clothes that just don't fit as well as they did the previous month, eaten too much crap in one sitting (one bag of puff Ch33tos probably took care of that particular craving for the next 7 years), skipped a workout or two, and too many others to list. I continue to work on avoiding "all or nothing" thinking and that when something happens it is not the end of the world. It's life, $hit happens.

Oh how I wish that I could say that my journey was and is easy and that it doesn't take any effort. Unfortunately, it hasn't been. Many days it's just plain tough. On those days that I am tired of all the effort, I try to suck it up and keep on going. Some days it works and other days it doesn't, but that's also life.

Lately it's been taking more effort. I'm not off the wagon, it's just been harder with more instances of me thinking UGH and the I-don't-wannas. I think I need to change things up. I've been doing bootcamp for nearly 2.5 years straight. It might be time for a break and on to something else.

7 comments:

Theresa aka Tessie Rose said...

I totally understand, I've been in the "I don't wannas" for a year...sadly, I'm not a goal yet, and if I don't get out of this zone, I never will be. Let me know what you figure out! BTW...you're a super hero, so you got this!

Andrea said...

You are such an inspiration! Maybe like you said your body just needs a change in gears. I know you'll figure it out!

MandaPanda said...

It's your persistence that has paid off for you! Have you tried crossfit? I know a lot of people love it. Or maybe something more like rock climbing and stuff like that? More "real world", outdoors kind of stuff? Good luck finding something new and exciting! I can't wait to see what you do next.

FitBy40 said...

I too suffer from the "I don't wannas" all too often.
If you're looking for something new in the exercise dept. I can suggest Insanity. It's friggin' crazy as all get out but without a doubt, you will get some serious sweat on!
Did I mention it's hard and never gets easier?!

Catherine55 said...

I am so with you on all of the above. I am struggling a bit this summer because I've been too busy to hit my 3-4 times a week workout goal... but I'm continuing to strive for it and not to get off course in any significant way...

Dawnya said...

This is why I love you. You tell the truth. You don't make it look or appear to be easy. It's not easy...not while losing or at goal.

You will figure out what inspires you again. I know you will. Then you will share it with me.

I love you bunches!!!

Joey said...

Agh! I should have read this first. I just posted the same thoughts (sorta). I could have just said "please see fluffy's blog".
Nicely said.