B00Bs 2011 Fun Facts!

How did you pick your blog name?
I can't really remember at this point, but I used to say to my bff that I'm not fat, I'm fluffy. Followed by yes, I am in denial, but I'm not ready to do anything about it...yet.  

When did you start blogging?
October 9, 2005. With this post. I just read it again and boy was I sad.

Theme of blog (weight loss, family, circus clowns, sci-fi, erotica, fly fishing, doll collecting, star wars, etc)
My journey with the lapband...but at this point it's a bit all over the place, but I continue to blog on whatever strikes my fancy to keep some focus and accountability and also in the hopes that it helps document long-term success or *something* of value to other banded people or people considering it. 

Did you go to BOOBs 2010?
Nope, but I saw how much fun everyone had and figured this year, why not? 

When were you banded?
Surgery Date: November 16, 2005  

How much have you lost?
105 lbs 

What are you most looking forward to at BOOBs?
Meeting everyone, my first drink or twenty, hanging out, no deadlines, no commitments, just F-U-N! 

What/who do you hope to find/see/accomplish at BOOBs 2011?
Just to meet as many people as I can and booze it up with the b00bs. (Man, I sound like a lush!)


Children? Pets?
No and a cat. 

Who is your roomie?
Angela @ Repair and Renovation 

What day do you arrive?
Thursday evening. 

What airport/flight/time?
O'hare....um, not sure. I remember seeing something about my flight changing. I better take a look at that.

What events are you signed up for?
Thursday night drag show which I got confused with the Sec0nd City show on Friday, meet-n-greet, and the dinner (Hmmm, did I miss it and I was supposed to pay? If so, please yell at me pronto!) so I'm in for that currently as well. I haven't committed to any of the day time activities as I am just going with the flow. Because I am afraid that I will stay out too late and might even be a tad bit hungover. 


Hobbies?
I can't think of anything that I would qualify as a "hobby"----'cause the work makes me think of dedicated stuff like scrap booking, photography, etc. Yep, I'm a loser. : ) 

Single? Married? In a relationship?
Told by husband that at times I still act single (whatever that means), but technically married. Funny tidbit: my husband would say quite frequently "get off my ball sack". Bad call on his part, it is now one of my most favorite things to say to him. Feel free to try it out, the first time I guarantee it will be hilarious (oh, but please tell me about it in Chi!)..... Most likely the reaction will kinda be like this:

Your birthday month?
December 

What do you want other BOOBs to know about you?
I put together this cheat sheet in a blog post with other random crap info. It's not very exciting or very personal, but I'm hoping to remedy the personal part in Chi! I am really looking forward to meeting everyone...you can find me cause I'll be wearing one of these:

Git-r-Done

Truth be told, there are things that I do not like about exercise. *gasp* Yep, I said it. Do Not Like. Weights and intervals are hard. I could half a$$ weights, but why even bother then? Intervals. They suck even more. Nuff said. My slogan is that I'm not built for speed. (And, yes that just smacks of excuse, doesn't it?)

I was thinking a lot about this at camp this morning while I was cussing my way through intervals and thought I'd note down some of my thoughts:

• Man, I #)(@*#$)($* hate intervals!
• Evil (hot) Trainer: "Pick it up Fluffy. I know you hate intervals." Fluffy : "Hey, a$$hat, thanks for calling me out in front of 40 people. How about you come over here and let me chase you? Until I catch you and beat you a bit...or a lot"
• O-M-G! We still aren't done.
• Excuuuuussseee me? Stair intervals today.&(@#*$&(&# (The stairs are a quarter mile away. Sure, let's just jog right on over!)
• It's )(@#*$)@#*$ hot.
• How you liking that crap eating from this past weekend NOW, Fluffy?
• Evil (hot) Trainer: "Good job Fluffy. I know you hate intervals, but I'm here to make you do stuff you don't like." Fluffy: "Ya, but it doesn't make me want to kill you any less while I'm doing it." (Yep,  told him that. He laughed and knows I'm joking...kinda sorta)
• Other variations on the same have been said all week and will continue for the remainder. Oh yes, it's intervals all week. 400m sprints anyone? (Oh not to worry. It's "only" 3x400; 3x200; 3x100. #@&*^$*^)

So what keeps me going?

• No excuses. It's hard for me to come up with a really valid excuse at 5am vs. the plethora I can come up with at other times of the day. Oh ya, I can rationalize day time excuses like a champ!
• There's crap I just don't like, but I have to do to progress my fitness level. It's just a fact. I bitch, but I just do it (tee hee---n-ike). I focus on the benefits and get over it---while cussing my way through : )
• Things I do not like, I will not do on my own. I might have good intentions, but I won't push myself the way I do at camp. So I have to find a group activity where it's included and I am forced to do it. 
• How my body has changed!

So I keep on going and I channel my inner Larry the Cab1e guy and I just git-r-done.

Again?!

I was watching a movie with my husband when we heard this huge pop. We both said something about it, but didn't think much of it. Until about 10 minutes later when we both smelled smoke!

We both started running. My husband to the garage to get the fire extinguisher (seriously, twice in ONE weekend?!) and me upstairs to try and locate where the smoke smell was coming from. I assumed it was going to be upstairs again. We could find nussing upstairs, so I ran downstairs and into the kitchen.

Imagine my surprise when I see a pot on the stove to remember that I was boiling a couple eggs for my husband to take for breakfast the next day. Ooopsie! That pop? Yep, exploding eggs. I wish I would have taken a picture of the carnage. It was quite a sight, but I was a little frazzled at the time.

This was definitely my fault, and nope not cause I had too many C0r0nas, I'm just preoccupied and it's getting me into trouble. Amazingly, the pot survived the abuse. Go figure.

In band news: This past weekend was not one of stellar healthy food choices---the balance was definitely off...let's say 75% unhealthy (yikes!). One weekend won't kill me, but it certainly doesn't make me feel good either. I feel fat and bloated. Remember this feeling Fluffy!

It's not so much the crap eating that bothers me. It is that a lot of this eating was mindless and emotional. So, I'm a bit frustrated with myself. I'm not dwelling on it, but I need to recognize that some old behaviors surfaced. *grrrr* Here's to moving on and getting the balance back the other way to more healthy choices to not!

Really?!

This weekend has been pretty exciting. I spent a lot of time with my friend:

Did some of this:

Source

Had a great meal...Oh, and a couple of these:

Shopped some of the summer clearance sales and found these:

And, did I mention this?

Um, ya there was a wee bit of a situation in the attic. No telling what happened (supposedly) other than the source of the small fire was these wires. Good news: everyone is safe, fire was very very small, and everything is back in working order. So after all this unplanned excitement, there will now be a lot of this:

I am officially ignoring tomorrow is Monday. Cheers!

Beat Down Week

I'm not going to lie. This week has really beat me down and I'm worn out. I'm just at a super high stress level and when I am it leads to a bunch of other stupid thoughts. I have learned though THE BEST way to control eating. My secret? Just have a TMJ flare up to the point that your jaw hurts so much that you can't chew! To help alleviate this, I've been asked to wear my guard all the time that I can and to reduce my stress (duh). It's clear and really unnoticeable until I talk and sound like I have a bit of a lisp, but still quite lovely. I kinda wish it was neon and glowed though. I just think it'd lead to some entertaining looks and who knows what people would say.

What have I done to manage the stress?

• Verbalized it to my husband. It's not really talking because I don't have enough information to talk at this point vs. just to say "I'm feeling super stressed". But for me, this is progress. Historically I have always internalized (or hidden from) my feelings.
• Went to camp as planned...every. single. day. I'll tell you it was a struggle. My sleep has sucked and I have a bad case of the don't wannas, but I knew the exercise would help me, so I dragged my a$$ there. Sometimes it just comes to that. Alarm goes off and it would be oh so easy to hit snooze or set it to a later time, but nope. Get up and get out!
• I have been tossing around the idea of running another half this year. For now, I've decided that training for it would just add to my stress and I'd probably not enjoy it with where my head is at currently. There's still plenty of time to make a final decision, but now is not the right time. (If there are any other b00bs training for a half in December, please let me know. I figure if I am I might need to do a 7-8 mile run while in Chi....*cough* hangover permitting. I like to plan ahead.)
• Made healthy choices. Having to eat soft foods/liquids is not my preferred method. I get the most satisfaction from eating "real" food and my bandster portions. To help, I went to the store and got a selection of soups that sounded good and some new flavors of yogurt. It's restaurant week here in Dallas, we're going to a fancy restaurant tonight so I'm hoping that all this babying of my stupid jaw will pay off and I'll be able to eat something!

So yah, some other crap has surfaced as well. Stuff that intellectually I know is stupid and it's just anxiety, will be fine, etc. I figured I'd throw them out here regardless in case there are other b00bs that *might* be having some similar thoughts...

• I saw on a few blogs "formal night" and getting clothes to wear. I saw that and my reaction was "whhhaaaaatttt?". Started thinking, hell I've got nothing to wear and it could still be 123 degrees here when I leave for Chi, but who knows what the temp will be there. What will I wear? etc. etc. Eh, I'll figure it out. I just repeat to myself that it's a great opportunity for shoes and it brings comfort to me. ;)
• My blog doesn't really contain much personal information other than about this journey. I start thinking things like "whoa, nobody is going to know me" and other thoughts on that same theme. Yes, stupid. I will just have to make sure that I introduce myself and to force myself to reach out to people (it's kinda like that feeling thing).
• And last, but not least, .... come on - somebody must also be thinking some of these same things! ---- I'm seen live and in person and I start wondering what the gals will think. "She could still stand to lose a few" "There's no way she weighs what she says she does" "She doesn't look that fit" "She's not as 'small' as I thought she'd be"....yep, I recognize these are MY insecurities surfacing and there may be only 1 or 2 people that think any of these things (seriously joking), but even if there is. Oh well, out of my control. It is what it is.

And yet, with all these thoughts, I look forward to meeting as many of you as I can. That's a good thing. : )

Changes and Stressors

How many of you remember that TV test pattern?  Man, I'm old! And ya, you are too if you remember it! Just sayin'. : P

Anyway, this is me at the moment:

Source

So this is my blog test pattern for myself. I need to read this and repeat to interrupt some of my stress.

• Change is good. It could be a great opportunity.
• Things could always be worse. 
• Worry about what is within my control/sphere of influence. Whatever else is what it is.
• It's only a job. And, I am very fortunate to have a job.

Instead I will focus on:

• Sticking to my routine! Continue to exercise and make healthy choices. I feel healthy and strong from doing both which makes me feel good physically and mentally.
• My husband and friends are supportive and can help me manage my stress IF I talk to them. Do not disengage.

That is all. Oh wait, I think it's: You will now be returned to your regular programming...

BYOC

Reasons why today is a better day:

• It's Friday!!! I am giddy about it just like that bunny.

• It didn't hit 100 yesterday! But unfortunately while it looked like it was going to storm, none of the wet stuff actually made it to the ground where I live. There's some projected storm activity, so hopefully some rain will come.

• My shoes arrived. : )  From a l0ft ad: "The simplest outfit can be elevated to an unforgettable look with the right pair of shoes." Nuff said.

• YOU! Sometimes it helps me just to vent out my blah's and it helps, but your comments helped even more! Thank you for that and I can't wait to meet you guys in Chicago! I'm still holding out that some people that aren't able to come somehow figure out a way to make it happen.

BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy – 5 questions you can copy and paste to your own blog if you so desire – in an effort to get to know your fellow bloggers better and to give your blog brain a break!

1. I have to do some MAJOR cleaning tonight…which is prompting me to ask…what is the absolute worst thing you hate to clean or cleaning chore you hate the most? (vacuuming, dusting, laundry, toilets, floors, etc.)
Garbage. It's stupid, but I just hate taking out the garbage. It was really the deciding factor in me getting married. Hmmm, should I marry him....Hell ya, he can take out the garbage! Unfortunately, my plan has not worked as well as I hoped as he travels a lot and "conveniently" the timing frequently is on the day that trash needs to be done.

2. Brown or Black? Fly or Drive? Hot dog or Burger? Gold or Silver?
Brown or Black - No preference.
Fly or Drive - whichever one gets me there quicker.
Hot dog or Burger - depends on my mood.
Gold or Silver - White gold or platinum please.

4. Even if you don’t have kids, how do you feel about kids in multiple sports during their school years?  Were you in MULTIPLE sports all during school?  Forced or by choice?

I like what I have seen friends do. They don't discourage their kids, but many have a rule that you can only have one sport a season. Kids choice.

I played soccer year round from essentially the time I was born...ok, well almost. During high school, I also played whatever sport was also going on. So, soccer and volleyball if that was the season, then soccer and basketball, etc. I was a sports dork.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

People have been hitting goal weights, great loses, and struggles and challenges with the journey. Ultimately though, everyone takes time to be supportive of one another in celebrating or supporting. It's great....there has been nussing else that I can thing of at the moment. ; )

Real life - I've had a rough week, but that's life. And, ultimately the things that were rough when put into perspective are nothing to get my panties in a wad about. I am very fortunate. Now and then that perspective gets interrupted with small stuff and I forget about the bigger picture. I had a talk with myself about that and gave myself a swift kick in the a$$. Perspective is back in place.

Yeeeooowwchhh!

There's this exercise at my boot camp it's called a "johnny c". I tried to find an example, but I'm not sure if it is technically called that or if I spelled it correctly, or it's just something the sadists made up (don't think so) because I couldn't find anything.

Anyway, it's an elbows and toes plank (also referred to as a forearm plank) and then you put one hand where your elbow was and repeat with the other arm (you are now in a push up plank position) and then you go back down one arm at a time. The goal is to hold your plank form and not have your hips sway. Repeat this 8 zillion times as quickly as you can while maintaining form. So I'm plugging away and somehow I peeled a nickel size piece of skin off one of my elbows....dry skin and this exercise do not mix. Learn from me, apply lotion.

To add insult to injury, I seriously thought today was Friday. As in the entire bootcamp this morning, I was telling myself that it was Friday as a motivation trick. Then it was pointed out to me that it's not. Husband is out of town and it's garbage day. Garbage is not out. Work has highs and lows. Right now it's a low...I'm grumpy. I now banish the grumpiness into the universe and outta me!

Cause I'm not any less...

Source

Of a shoe whore than the rest of you, I thought I *might* share another site in addition to the one that Stephanie and Draz frequent. First some musings from my shoe closet courtesy of some pretty funny chats with my husband.

• Husband: So that looks like another pair of black shoes. Fluffy: Yes, they are black, but that's pretty much all they have in common with the rest of my black shoes. These can only be worn with certain outfits just like the other ones can only be worn with certain outfits. Husband: *eye roll*
• Fluffy: I buy a pair of shoes, but I have to go to an event with the husband (his event) so I figure I can escape unscathed. Husband: I like that outfit. I really like those shoes. I haven't seen those before, have I? Fluffy: Nope, I got them today so I'd look nice to go to your event. Husband: Well, you look really nice. Fluffy inside her head: diabolical bunny tee hee
• Husband: I just don't understand why you have so many shoes. Look at mine. I have black, brown...or whatever he said after that as I tuned him out.... Fluffy: Well, I have to have shoes in other colors beside black/brown and shoes for the season---like boots and a whole list of reasons if you want me to keep listing them. Husband: No. But don't think that once your shelves fill up that you are moving over to my side of the closet. Fluffy: Don't you worry your pretty little head. (Ya, I whip that one out now and then on him. And, I can always find room for another pair of shoes. The out of season ones either get boxed up and put on a higher shelf to be swapped out or off to donation!)
• My fall back tactic is to always get pairs that I know he'll like. It's when I get ones that he doesn't that I tend to get on shaky ground. These boots here and here are good examples of success stories. 
• The ultimate happened this weekend though. We were watching that Adam Sand1er/Jennifer Anist0n movie (can't think of the name, but it was a cute movie) in the movie he takes her shopping. Fluffy: OMG, I looooooovvvee those shoes. Husband: You like those?!....How much were they? Fluffy: $1700 Husband: For ONE pair of shoes?! Fluffy: See, it could be much much worse than it is for you.

Oh yah, the site. It's...man, what was it? Oh, I'm kidding. It's: t i l l y s dot com. Seriously, check it out, but if it causes any marital/partner issues this is my disclaimer that I am not responsible for the number of shoes you are likely going to love and respond out loud,  by yourself, to your computer, "OMG, these shoes are only how much? I must have them!"....this may have happened to me just the other day when I might have purchased a pair. Now, go forth and shoe shop!....are my new shoes here yet?

Aarrrggghhh!

No, I'm not a pirate. I'm just getting irritated at this weather! I am trying to make a tough decision, but until the heat shows some hope of breaking I can't get myself over the hump to commit!

Why yes, the sun is sporting a different mustache or beard, so click the picture to truly appreciate them! Blame my craziness on the heat! 

Fast as a bunny...not so much

My race tactic was I-don't-wanna-be-a-hot-weather-statistic-on-the-side-of-the-road approach. Regardless it is still a struggle for me to go "backwards" and have a race time several minutes slower than I know I am capable of. Yes, it's stupid, but that's my perfectionism that I've also been working on as part of this journey.

Here's my race summary:

• Man, my back is sore. Uh huh, not sore enough. You're fine.
• Is this outfit going to be cool enough? Um, unless naked is an option. Yes.
• It's f-ing hot (92 degrees)! No $hit sherlock.
• Let's get this thing started already.
• Oh hell, it's starting.
• Great. There's some people I know and I have crazy hair.
• Is it over yet?
• Oh look, they changed the course from last year. 
• Oh look, they changed the )@(#*$)@(* course from last year to have a lot of inclines.
• Good grief, it's hot.
• Oooo, out and back! Nice! Hey, you over there, I'm fast...like a rabbit!!!

• Heck, three quarters of a mile left. Turn it on and let's get this over with!
• WOO HOOO! No speed record set, but it doesn't matter. I finished. 

If I post a goal on my blog it makes me accountable. It's like a promise to myself and also in a way to "all these people" that may be reading. It's just something that I found works for me. When the thought of bailing on something surfaces, I then have two options:

1. I'm not going to do it and I will have to explain why. And, sometimes this is OK, but it makes me think through why to figure out if the reasons are valid for me (if I were to read them, are they excuses or reasons?). A good example is when I decided earlier this year that I h-a-t-e running in hot weather and changed my mileage goal for the year. Hating something is a good reason in my book.
2. Then there's the other side of the coin. Bailing on a goal for me is hard enough, but doing so with reasons that I feel are lame just doesn't work. So, that's enough to keep me going. This was Saturday's race.

Thanks to everyone out there for the encouragement. I do appreciate it greatly.

Next up for me is an obstacle course race - The Jai1break.  Dang it! Now I have to do it! I joke...kinda :)

No Excuses!

I have a race tomorrow. Here's a list of some of the reasons why I shouldn't do the race.

• My friend bailed and is no longer doing it with me.
• It's hot.
• My husband has said to me that I don't have to do the race if I don't want to. Translation - he won't be mad if I just skip it and the registration fee is forfeited.
• It's really hot.
• My back is still sore.

Now for the reasons why I should do the race:

• While my friend isn't going, we weren't going to be together once the race starts anyway. Bottom line: this is just an excuse. I need to get over it.
• It's hot. Sure it's hot, but it's not as hot as later in the day and I have been doing bootcamps in this heat the entire summer. A 5K is much easier than a bootcamp for me. Bottom line: this is just an excuse. I need to get over it.
• Married life has been a huge adjustment for both me and my husband, but we have both been putting in a lot of effort. That effort though has paid off ten fold. He's my biggest fan and supporter. Bottom line: this is very supportive of my husband, but I can't use it as an excuse. I need to get over it. 
• While my back is sore, it's doing much better. Plus, it doesn't hurt when I jog. Bottom line. This is just an excuse.I won't be hitting my 27 min pace and need to take it easy ignoring my pace (plus it's hot!) and I just need to get over it.  
• I am a racing shirt phobia person. I won't be able to wear the shirt if I don't do the race. 

Bottom line: No excuses. I'm over it and I will be doing the race. Suck it up buttercup!

Buttercup P0wepuff Girl

Fluffy Cheat Sheet

Hi again! I thought I'd do a post for B00BS out there about me. A summary, if you will, because it's pretty hard with my anonymity to get to "know me", but hopefully this helps a bit. So, here goes...

• I'm 42, but will be knocking on the door of 43 when we are in Chicago.
• I was banded November 16, 2005 with a starting weight of 234. You can see other stats over on the sidebar.
• I have a Lap Band - 4cc with a low profile port.
• I was self-pay.
• Depending on how you choose to interpret my "goal" weight, I've been at my goal weight for over 4 years.
• If you go to this post - you will find a good summary of my journey on my five year anniversary.
• I started out my journey single, but am now married - related post - pictures on this post
• I ran a half marathon.
• I set wellness goals and am pretty much an outdoor bootcamp freak.
• I divorced the scale.
• Before & After - a glimpse anyway and headless, but I'll see if I can find a couple before pictures and put them on my phone as the changes in my face are pretty drastic.
• I'm very directionally challenged. Please take pity on me if you see me aimlessly staring around with a puzzled look on my face and drag me to where we are supposed to be. 
• I absolutely love to shop for clothes for other people! Just ask Beth Ann! So, if you are looking for someone to go with you and be a personal shopper (picking out 8 zillion things for you to try on and sending you to the dressing room), give me a shout.
• Angela and I are arriving Thursday evening. If you are too, please let me know.
• How can you find me? I'll be the one in the bunny costume. Ha, you just never know!

Can't wait to meet everyone!

Searches & Poop!

O-M-G! I have read on blogs about searches and the funny things that are used. I figured what the heck, I'm going to go see what is there. So I did and busted out laughing. As in laughing so hard that I snorted!

I don't know how there are so many POOP references, so if you're reading Draz, continue with caution!

• how can i easy my bowel movement?
• fluff panties
• why does it look like there's fluff on my stool
• 3 legged stool analogy

Not kidding you. 

Sorry Draz. : )

B.O.D!

Hi! Gulp. Yep, I really am shy in addition to be anonymous! Funny thing is that work people would not use shy to characterize me. But I am. So, just like many of you, going to Chicago is a bit stressful! Don't get me wrong, I am  looking forward to meeting everyone, but it's definitely an adventure out of my comfort zone. I just thought I'd share so that those of you that are feeling the same way know I am too!

• Will I survive? Sure.
• Will I meet tons of super awesome people? You bet!
• Will I end up having a great time? Yep!
• [Will I likely be a "drunk" one? Uh, Yep!]

But for anyone that's shy about being the first one to order an adult beverage, just find me! Cause I will be the first one in line and not shy about that! : ) Hey, a little liquid courage takes the edge off a bit.

Thanks Angela (my roomie!) and Draz for the nice words. I have kept my journey private. Outside of other people with the band that I have met, there are only a handful of people that know (about 6). I look forward to meeting you guys, but please know that if I duck from pictures that it's not personal!

Ouuchhhh!!

Because of this: 

Back Pain

I spent a lot of time this weekend doing this:

Even though it's hot for most people's standards in the morning here, right now it feels like heaven to me. I spent a lot of time in a reclining lounge chair reading and looking at:

I figured after the weekend of resting that this morning I could go to bootcamp. I trust the trainer a lot. He has a degree and a zillion certifications as well as working at a very prestigious and reputable facility outside of the camps he leads. I told him when I got there this morning that my back was bothering me, I had thrown it out a few years ago, and sporadically comes up now and then. He gave me alternate things to do where needed and I spent extra time after camp with some additional stretching. I do feel loosened up, but not better. He suggested only 3 camps this week, so I'm going to listen to his advice. The good news, I had to take today as a sick day because I can't concentrate for long on muscle relaxers. Proof: This short post has been in the works for over 3 hours now. : )