Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Resolution?

First let me start by thanking everyone for their kind comments and/or virtual hugs. I really appreciated it as I was feeling very much alone. For anyone that has read Men are from Mars / Women are from Venus, you will know what I mean by "cave". The morning of my post I had asked him to please go into his cave and come back when he had worked through it. I find this very hard to do as a female because I am the let's just keep talking about it, but like most guys he wants to go off and think or whatever guys do.

Anyway, I took Dinnerland's advice and called Dr. Laura...definitely a creative idea, Dinnerland, and made me smile. I actually am a big supporter of counseling. I've had a bunch myself.and since being married we have also gone to counseling. It's one of the pluses about being older I guess --- no problem admitting that help is needed. We're both very set in our ways and needed some perspective and tools on how to better communicate. The problem is that there is no *magic* that happens and it takes time, effort, and mis-steps to implement the changes.

Overall, I thought we had been doing very well, but I guess he thought otherwise. Anyway, I let him go and do his thing. It was hard and I was miserable, but it was the right thing to do. When he did exit his cave, we had a good conversation. Summary - he wants to remain married and continue to work through this. We discussed what we could do that would help each other and also talked about some of the things in counseling that would help us as well. Only time will tell, but I'm optimistic based on him also saying that he could appreciate the perspective about the bar being set too high, etc.

I'll apologize in advance for posting responses to the comments here...
  • Grace - Thanks for the kind words. For some reason I am having a hard time seeing your blog contents? The header comes up, but not the posts? Hopefully it's just me.
  • Jody - Appreciate the feedback that you too had/have ups and downs with Frank. My hope for you is that balance has been very much toward the ups which from your blog it sounds like it has. I hope that you have reunited with your Polar and your positive outlook is going your way!
  • Elisabeth - I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing similar challenges. I tried to see if I follow or read your blog, but for some reason I couldn't figure out what it is. Please let me know if you have a chance. I love how you said "moving on with grace and strength". In or out, I plan to take that path, but had not thought of a way to sum it up so nicely.
  • Island bandit - I just did a drive by of your blog, but only to see the post on insurance. Insurance sucks! I sure hope that you get the answers your are seeking and sure seems to me that approval is imminent (fingers crossed) with perseverance! Thanks for the nomination on the award and I'll be watching to see how things go for you. Please let me know if you have any questions along the way.
  • Dinnerland - I wasn't kidding. I did laugh from your 2nd comment, but seriously in a GOOD way. And heck you came back when I know you are busy to come back and post that after the 1st comment you left. Thanks so much for that. (I know you can make your birthday goal!)
  • Kerri - Thank you! I have got to get caught up on your journey, but WAY TO GO! What a major milestone! Congratulations on making it into the 2's. The 1's are in your future!
So as far as my journey, I did weigh myself at some point (I know it's strange isn't it that I'm not obsessed by the scale!?!) and I'm within my range (132-136lbs), so all is good on the weight front. Polar Round Up for last week:

  • 4 hours 40 mins
  • 2764 cals  

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Sometimes I wonder...

Did I do the right thing by getting married? Is it normal for it to feel at times like it's a roller coaster? Did I make a mistake? Would I have been better off without him? I know I love him, but is that enough? I'm not so sure he truly loves me at this point vs. his desire not to fail at being married. (Heaven forbid! What would his parents think?)

When I married him, it was for the long haul for me. I knew there would be ups and downs and disagreements. I felt where I set the bar for success was reasonable and attainable. We had talked about this before we got married and honestly at the time it seemed like we were on the same page.

Strangely, I seem to be finding out that he has a fairy tale view of what being married should be like: always getting along, laughing all the time, etc. He has set the bar so high we cannot achieve it. I am just being realistic. It's life - it's not all this sugar plum Cinderella crap. He has set the bar is too high. It's unrealistic and unattainable. If he is not open to "re-setting" the bar to a realistic level this will not work.

If I have to, I can accept this not working. He will have to make the call though. What I don't like is the roller coaster. Yes, no, yes, no. That and hell I got married at 40. I had a very nice single life before getting married. ALL of that was given up by me. My house, etc. And yes, you could make the same argument for him, but it's honestly not the case. He got the house he wanted (I made a lot of compromises) and guess what? He still has his house from before we are married - it's just rented at the moment. It makes me frustrated and feel unsettled. If this doesn't work, I don't want the house we live in. Yet where the hell do I go? An apartment???? That makes me mad.

Whatever happens, I have always made it through the hard stuff. I will again this time. That's what strong women do. I don't "need" a man. I wanted a partner.

It's been an ugly few days.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

The Blahs

Everyone gets them and I have also been diagnosed with "The Blahs". Isn't it funny how easy it is to get out of a routine (one that has good benefits---strangely I have no problems with "bad" routines) and hard to get back into it? I did make it to bootcamp this morning and yesterday morning, but with not feeling 100% and having all these drugs in my system, I'm not gonna lie it's a struggle. No worries, I am going to push through - cause ultimately I feel better after doing it and feel more centered / balanced (OK - less nutty, and dare I say *itchy!)

So I decided that I needed to do something to help a bit. I got out the biggest pair of jeans that I had saved. They are size 18w and full of stretch. Honestly, I could not even fit into them until I had lost about 20 lbs and what I was wearing at the time really wasn't fitted (that I can recall) so I just kept this pair of jeans. Anyway, first I compared them to a new pair of bermuda's that I recently got (and absolutely love!)...


Then I figured what the hell. Let's put these puppies on and see what they look like and take some crappy and somehow weirdly iridescent pictures (sorry). At this point I can even put myself into one leg of the pants. It's kinda freaky...


I can't say that I suddenly was all gung ho, but it did remind me of how far I've come. I need make the time to do a before/after thing as well. It has been a number of years since I've done that. 

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

S-I-C-K, B.O.O.B.S., and misc other stuff...

Yep, I had not been on a vacation (a real one) for pretty much 5 years. Not something to be proud of, but I was really looking forward to going on vacation. About 3 days in, SICK. Not the expected tummy sickness when visiting a resort outside the US, but just plain ol' sick sick which progressively got worse. When I couldn't make it to bootcamp Monday morning, I knew it was time to go to the doctor (It was also kinda funny that when I didn't get up and go that my hubby became very concerned at that point. NOW I was really sick. It kinda makes me giggle...

Vacation bullets...
  • Trip from Texas to Miami was uneventful.
  • Miami to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic (PCDR from here on) - plane issues. Thankfully we used some upgrades and were able to fly this leg in first class. I've never flown in first class. You can't miss what you don't know, right? Well, yep. It's definitely first class and a MUCH better way to travel. I asked my hubby to travel more so we can get more upgrades. ; )
  • PCDR - had purchased a travel voucher to get from the airport to the resort. 10 mins for the escort to find the empty vehicle. 30 more minutes for a driver to show up. Then find out he's taking us to the WRONG resort. Got that worked out - and we are both trying to remain positive.
  • Resort - Arrive. Seems OK. Supposed to be one of the "best". We were invited to go with some other couples after they had already selected the resort, etc. It seemed like it was going to be OK and that there were as many negative as positive reviews on one of the advisor sites. And, DANG IT, I wanted to go on a vacation! So, we decided to risk it.
  • We had requested a room on the upper floor, which we did get, and hoped that "musty" smell was minimal. The room did have a bit of a smell, but was clean and the AC was working well, so we decided to keep it.
  • We went to the pool/beach area and it really is beautiful.
  • The food was OK overall. Just OK.
  • The alcoholic beverages (it's all inclusive) were HORRIBLE. Seriously horrible, I just couldn't drink them and I KNOW they were doing something to the alcohol because when we got drinks from the pool bar they were tolerable - everywhere else - YUCK!
  • Mold was an issue depending on where you went. I'm not going to call it musty or make excuses because of the climate. Bottom line - this was an expensive trip and resort. They could do something about the MOLD. You could see it and you could definitely smell it. (OH and get this, one morning there is this huge chandelier over a fountain, and yep - IT FELL! Not kidding you. Luckily no one was hurt, but let's just say never going back!)
I keep reading about the B.O.O.B.S. Chicago event and all the various people that are going as I think I read everyone's blog at a minimum through reader. Anyway, I want to go, but because of my desire to remain anonymous, I decided it just wasn't a good idea. It really kinda makes me sad though.

I didn't weigh when I got back from vacation. I didn't eat out of control and really didn't drink much either. I did water aerobics at the pool as I was there anyway and it was actually pretty fun and some of the other days I also did yoga on the beach. Flying makes me gain "fake" weight. Always has and always will, so I figured why bother and freak out. I'll just get back to my normal way of living and weigh in a couple weeks. I need to do a maintenance approach post that I've been doing for about 3 months, but too much for now. I have a zillion items to read and looking forward to catching up!

    Friday, August 20, 2010

    I'm Off!

    Heading out on vacation tomorrow morning at o'buttcrack thirty, so I may not be around at all for a week. I am going to take some workout clothes with me and may or may not workout. My plan is to go with the flow.

    I might have a semi-formal event to go to in October, so I was surfing around the internet to see what I could find. I have never ordered from Venus before, but this outfit was just too cute (and cheap!) to pass up.

    I am still a weirdo when it comes to sizes. I am still coming to grips with my size. So, I ended up ordering two sizes, because I just knew that the smaller size would be too small. The outfits came the other day and for the price - let me tell you this was a great value. I SUPER love the skirt. It has this kinda skirt thing (crinoline?) underneath that kinda makes it full like in the picture and the picture is what it looks like. The top is very similar as well, but what you can't tell from the picture is that it laces up the back side. This is a very handy feature since my boobs are now an A CUP (I swear I whined about being a B cup, but had not had the whine post about now being a lovely A - guess you guys dodged a bullet). 

    Interesting, they must have realized that it was a super deal, because I paid $34 for the skirt and the website is now showing $39. Honestly, it's still worth it for that. (Ended up that it was the smaller size (4) that fit for anyone wondering.)

    Only 4 days of bootcamp this week because the instructor had to cancel. I had grand plans of going to the gym instead, but used the extra time to get more work done in preparation for being out of the office for the week. I had *thought* that sessions were a bit easier this week. Looking at the Polar results (calories) for the amount of time, I would definitely say that I wasn't imagining it.

    Polar Round Up for the week:

    • 4 hours 25 mins
    • 2584 cals

    Thursday, August 19, 2010

    People are Special

    Whether blog buddies, friends, or family, all of these people are special. I am thankful for all and how they touch my life. My hubby did something very sweet, so I had to share...


    Cute, huh? These past couple of weeks have been bad at work ---- just too much work and not enough time in the day. It's been taking "our time away" as well as I've been having to work late into the evening. It made me feel extra special because he could be grumpy about our lack of time together, but instead I got this!

    In other news, there was a big storm here - much needed rain and the temperature (without heat index) has stayed under 100. That's the good news. The bad news is that a house about 2 blocks from me caught fire during the storm when it was hit by lightning. I wasn't home at the time, but got home a while after to a ton of ambulances and fire trucks. While the house from the outside doesn't look too bad if you didn't know what happened, it surely must be a mess inside. I don't know who lives there, but do know that thankfully no one was hurt. Regardless what a mess for that poor family!

    Monday, August 16, 2010

    What a week!

    I've been working extra hours to try and get ahead (OK, get caught up) in preparation for my vacation. I made some progress, but need to work extra hours again this week. My "short" day was 12 hours, but it was no excuse not to go to bootcamp, so each morning I was up and out the door at butt-crack thirty.

    One day at band camp (I mean boot camp), I was the sweating like a pig (I thought I read somewhere that pigs don't even sweat and that's the whole mud deal. So what does that expression really mean?) I had been in this sweltering heat. Toward the end of class, I was really feeling the workout and running out of steam. I had been drinking water throughout class and continued after camp as well. I started my work day and about 3-4 hours later stood up and WHOA! Head rush. Definite sign of dehydration. I didn't have any electrolyte beverages around the house, so I just continued to drink water and figured I'd be fine. It was bootcamp the next day that I realized I wasn't. I was lethargic and dizzy throughout class. I did what I could and then on my way home picked up a couple G2's. I sipped on those and continued to drink water. I can't say that I immediately felt better, but by the end of the day, I did.

    I mentioned it to one of my buds in class the next day. She said she had been feeling it as well and that on her drive to work that same morning of the brutal heat classs they were flashing the warnings to avoid prolonged time outside doing vigorous activity. HA!

    This week we are supposed to get a break from the heat - the temperature will be 98/99 all week - but I learned long ago to take the weather predictions with a grain of salt, so we'll see. I did think it was cooler this morning, but the temperature was higher, so must have been the humidity.

    Uh, when did my blog turn into a weather blog????

    Polar Round Up for last week:

    • 4 hours 30 mins
    • 3425 cals

    Saturday, August 07, 2010

    Survived and Thanks!

    Thanks for all the supportive comments! I thought of you guys during the race and pictured you on the sideline cheering me on (yep, I'm a dork). The course was said to be hard and that was no joke. There were inclines all over the place and when you thought, "finally, some F(*&(*&# level ground", back up again it went.

    Oh the weather? Well get this - about 4pm it started to POUR here. Big time. It poured for about 30 mins and then it rained for another 30. So it brought the temperature down about 10 degrees. I think it was only 95 at race time. Not bad at all (dang it - can't "really" use it as an excuse either!)

    I had never run an evening 5K. I think I prefer the morning races and will likely stick to those if/when I get the urge to do one. Having the race in the evening kinda gave me too much time to think about the other 293,847 things I'd rather be doing on a Friday evening. :)

    Polar Round Up (not thinking that I'll exercise today or tomorrow more than walks):
    • 6 hours 38 mins
    • 4002 cals
    • 5K race time: 31 minutes and 1 second. (Man, that really sucks! So close to 30 minutes something which considering the course and heat would have been a decent time. Oh well, it's a perfect 10 minute pace which is kinda funny.) I did place 4th in my age group with my time which I honestly found pretty shocking. : )

    Thursday, August 05, 2010

    Just in case I disappear...

    Well about a month back I thought a 5K that is tomorrow night would be fun. It's close to the house and afterward there is a "party" with live music, food, and beer. As an added bribe bonus with registration there are two beer coupons, I figured how could this get any better?! And, while Texas is hot, I figured no worries 'cause I've been doing fine in bootcamp when I do the night sessions that start at 7pm.

    Spring forward to now...for the past few weeks the temperature has been over 100 degrees. As in 105-110 - without the heat index (oh yes, the humidity has been high as well). Now for many, this may be normal temperatures, but for here that is dang hot. We are under heat advisories, air pollution watch, and very high pollen (gooo allergies!).

    So what's the temperature projected for this race? One-Oh-frickin' five. That's right 105 degrees....I am gonna die...I thought I better go ahead and make a final post just in case I disappear to never be heard from again. My plan is to hydrate and my revised goal (it was to finish in under 30 mins) is just to listen to my body and finish. I can't say that I'm really looking forward to it, cause I'd just be lying...

    Tuesday, August 03, 2010

    I was thinking...

    Yes, this usually means a scary post. You have been warned, but seriously I had written that last post about protein which led into other stuff and something just "stuck" with me. It was about the emotional eating. Since then I puzzled and thought and really strained my brain about "something" I missed. After a lot of deliberation by all the voices in my head, it came to me. Sometimes with the band the eating isn't emotional, it's just mental.

    I was reflecting on my journey, the baggage from dieting, and just simply my baggage which has thankfully reduced over time to carry on size. There were many times when I seem to recall thinking: that's just not enough food, I know I can eat more, I want more, etc. etc. I think this is also part of the journey. Learning all of the counters to these thoughts. It is enough food. Yes, at times you feel looser and you "can" eat more, BUT just because you can does that really mean you should? The "I want more" - hell, I still have that today. Put a dessert item or candy in front of me and the "I want more" is the rule - that's just the way it is for me and I am still learning what I term "can't a little of a good thing be enough".

    It really applies to exercise as well. You think things like there is no way I can do X or no way I can do X for Y amount of time, but in reality you can. Try it, you may not like it (remember - I'm the person that doesn't necessarily "like" my workouts, but LOVES how they make me feel and look), but you can do it.

    Anyway, the point is that I thought about how everyone is at different points in their journey and for people early on I thought it might be helpful or a bit of an "a-ha - that's me Fluffy" to see this perspective as well. Enjoy and discuss amongst yourselves... :)

    Monday, August 02, 2010

    Wow, where did you guys all come from???

    I sure appreciate you all following my blog! I'm going to go through and make sure that I am following you (Did you know there's a limit to how many blogs you can "follow"?), but if I am at my limit of blogs I can follow, no worries - I'll add you to Google Reader and get you there. In other words, I'll be reading. :)

    (If you don't have your blog address in your profile - or whatever - would you mind providing me with the link to your blog? Plus others can also look here and get to your blog as well. I'm sure all of you guys are as addicted to reading about everyone's journey as I am!)

    This dovetails into mentioning my new blog friend Sam who nominated me for a blogger award (versatile blogger)---I wish your cello, Lilly, a speedy recovery, Sam! Honestly, I'm not quite sure how the awards work, but I'll tell you guys this. I think you all deserve the award and hoping that by encouraging everyone to check out who is following mine, that we'll find each other. I am inspired and can relate to everyone. It's nice, because there are just some things that people that don't have a band just simply can't relate to. For those things, I come out here. So thanks to all of you for that.

    The only other thing I can think of right now is my VACATION! I haven't really had a true vacation - the kind where you go somewhere not because it ties to a business trip of me or my hubby - and where I plan to tell work I am completely unavailable for FIVE years. I'm burned out. I can feel it and need a break. Plus we didn't even have a honeymoon - just a long weekend (yes, pathetic I know). So in 19 days, I am off for a beach vacation! I plan to do nothing but read, lay around, drink (yes, vacation brings out the inner boozebag in me), and r-e-l-a-x. This will mean a week of excess, so hubby and I have decided that we'll try to cut out all eating out until we go. We're not dieting - although I do jokingly refer to it to him as "the bikini diet" - but eating at home is just healthier for us. We'll see how that goes.

    Last Week's Exercise Round Up from Polar:

    • 8 hours 27 mins
    • 4815 cals

    Thursday, July 29, 2010

    Protein smotein...

    I'm gonna say it....I have never counted protein grams. Ever. Why? Because I had lap band surgery. I didn't want to have to worry about counting things or taking vitamins (UGH, I hate pills!). Measuring I could live with. Here's what I was told (with a few of my own gems thrown in for free!)
    • Always eat the correct portion sizes. Why? Don't do it enough and you might dilate your pouch. Heck for me, I wasn't even eating the correct portion sizes (meaning I couldn't) at one point and still managed to dilate my pouch. Here's a past post on it. (I'm really not trying to scare anyone, just sharing my personal experience which was I was eating very little and had reflux / heartburn which increased over time. Problem? Too tight.) And another favorite post on fills. And yep, I used to be a tester too - here's that post.
    • Don't drink while eating period. Why? It flushes your pouch. Now you aren't supposed to be so tight that food just sits in there for a long period of time, but it does take time for it to go through. I drink all the way up until I eat and then wait at least 30 mins to have something to drink after I finish. Do I do this ALL the time? Hell no. If I'm out having a nice dinner, then there's wine. No wasting of wine here - although I tend to just finish what I still have upon receiving my food and not having anymore unless the 30 mins has past.
    • Make good healthy food choices (variety, variety, variety) and eat protein first most of the time. This was important for me - cause sometimes protein just makes me want to barf. Yep, it does. I'll look at a piece of fish, chicken, or beef (I'm equal opportunity) and think - Yuck, I don't want to eat you. So, I'll eat a couple bites, but I'll eat the beans or grilled zucchini on my plate instead and that's OK. There are no absorption issues with the band. I don't take vitamins either. (My blood work shows no issues.)
    • Don't eat to feeling full. Goes back to the first one on amount of food, testing, etc. etc. What's your soft stop? Sigh? Hiccup? Burp? Nose run? Unconsciously start picking and moving your food around? Figure it out. When it happens - STOP.
    • If you're hungry, eat something. Hungry between meals? Ensure that it is 'real' hunger vs. 'head' hunger. Good choices = real. Bad choices = head (usually - meaning maybe it's an emotional thing going on). If good, then have a snack. Feeling hungry is OK!!! Really, it is. If you are working out a lot, you are going to get hungry. Eat something nourishing and move on. I eat 3-5 times a day depending on my hunger level. Again - do I always make "good" choices, hell no. Last night I wanted frozen yogurt with chocolate sprinkles and chocolate covered raisins. So I had it and enjoyed every last bite of it!
    • Exercise a minimum of 3 times a week for 1 hour. Exercise makes me feel GOOD. I feel strong and healthy. When I don't exercise I feel "off" and "grumpy". I remind myself of this more and more often. I currently exercise - as in the strictest sense of "this is exercise time" - 5 times a week. 
    • The scale is only a number and does not dictate how I feel. (In other words: Scale you are NOT the boss of me!) A zillion factors can make the scale fluctuate. Believe me I was focused on the loss too, but it got out of control. I moved to weighing in weekly period. And, I beat it into my head that other measurements such as clothing size and fitness level DO matter. For a long period of time my body was shifting (not a medical term in case you were wondering). I was shrinking, but the scale wasn't moving. The scale did eventually move, but even now while I have lost a few more pounds my body has changed much more significantly than the scale indicates.
    • One caveat, let's be real. There are times when we all KNOW that we have gained weight. And I'm not talking about when my behavior has matched the items I've listed here. I'm talking about like the time that I KNEW I had gained weight because I was eating a shitload of candy. So I avoided the scale. I was on a boat going down de-nial. My advice - hop on. See the damage. Don't rationalize. Embrace it as being human and move on.
    • Maintenance is hard. Losing is hard. Summary: the journey is hard. You know the saying: the band is a tool. It's in your toolbox for you to use. While I say it's hard, I do think it gets easier over time. This year is easier than last, etc. (I should caveat this by saying during the losing phase it was a roller coaster of easy / hard / easy / hard for me. At some points I was frustrated as all get out!)
    • NO negative talk. Read that? No as in N-O-N-E. I bet this is hard for pretty much everyone. Give yourself a pat on the back now and then. Seriously look at what you have accomplished. No matter how much you have lost, you know what? You lost. You gained weight on a weigh in, BUT not because of things you did. (Gained 2 lbs - did you really eat an extra 7000 calories??? My guess is no.) Celebrate that you followed the bandster rules. Celebrate that you walked 5 or 55 minutes. Celebrate that a pair of pants you couldn't wear last month you can now. You had a cookie? Did you ENJOY it? If not, then it wasn't worth it - remember that next time. But if in hindsight of eating that cookie were you beating yourself up, maybe that's why you didn't enjoy it? What would have happened if maybe you just enjoyed the one cookie? Maybe that one cookie would have been enough?
    • And most importantly to each and every one of you - YOU ARE WORTH IT. It really is OK to make YOURSELF a priority. And, YOU CAN DO IT! (I know you can.)

    I'm still trying to get pictures together and figure out how to do "now" pics, but while I was trying to find the posts I referenced, I stumbled across this. I'm currently 10 lbs lighter (OK 11, but who's counting? Hey, I'm human!) and two sizes smaller than this picture.)

    Wednesday, July 28, 2010

    Freak Show in Town!

    Imagine my surprise when I looked down this morning during bootcamp and saw this:

    OK, a bit of an exaggeration, but honestly not by much. I am wearing some different shorts to work out because it's about 8 billion degrees and the humidity is 8 trillion percent. With that came a bit more skin for me to look at. So while doing this calf stretch:


    (Uh no, that's not me. I really am a chick. I used a dude because I thought there wouldn't be any confusion that way.)

    I looked back and saw - to my HORROR - these wrinkly elephant knees. Seriously NOT pretty. But skin casualty - if we forget the fact of my BOOBS which have a hard time filling a B cup (yes, B cup and yes, I'm still quite bitter) - for having lost over 100 lbs has not been significant (oh, and that I'm 41). And yes, I did glance around to see if anyone else was looking, but thankfully these bootcamp chicks are into their stretching and don't seem to notice this new freak show in town.

    It's not often in everyday life  (OK never) that I find myself busting out this move, so I'm not going to worry about it, but I can't promise that I won't have an internal shudder when the freak show presents itself at bootcamp again. But when the freak show does come to town, I will remind myself of the fact that my wrinkly elephant legs can run a long distance, are strong (even have mus-cles showing), and while wrinkly in certain positions are completely normal in size.

    (Image sources: http://www.hansenmaud.nl/FotosMaud/African%20Wildlife/pages/Elephant%20legs.htm and  http://www.fpes.com.au/index.php?content=rehab&stretch=calf)

    Monday, July 26, 2010

    Where oh where did that band blogger go?

    In reading everyone's BYOC postings, I thought about the question about do you lie on your blog. I don't lie, but I do leave a bunch of personal stuff out. It's the only way I can have my blog and retain my anonymity. At times it can be hard, but my blog is to record my journey with the lap band for myself and as a resource (used loosely) for others.

    While I recognize that my posts don't necessarily talk about the band per se as much anymore, it bugged me when bloggers that were banded left...or probably better said as "disappeared". And, there was also a gap back in 2005 of finding blogs that chronicled some longer term success. Some bloggers left prior to hitting goal, some ending on high notes and others not so much, but some bloggers hit goal and then said "adios", they were going off to live - no time to blog. Well honestly, I'm living. I have been living through this entire journey. I just try to take time out (more so this year every week) to stop long enough to put out a post. This journey never ends. I would say my focus is less and different, but it's still there.

    For me, I knew I could hit my goal. It's not a cocky statement - it's part of my yo yo history and I'm really not proud of it. Bottom line I wasn't able to ever keep the weight off. I was the statistic of losing the weight, but putting it back on with some bonus pounds. The band was another tool in my arsenal in my personal struggles with weight, emotional issues, and depression. The band has forced me to be "present" when I am eating. There's just no way not to be and in hindsight I am not sure I ever was prior to being banded. There are a whole slew of other changes - I should probably think more on that for a different post as they are hard to put into words on the fly, but I think an important exercise.

    Every now and then, I wonder how these people doing are doing. Did they make it? (I hope so.) Have they maintained? (I hope so.) Have they also encountered struggles and challenges whether they hit goal or not? (I'd guess they have.). So I'll keep blogging, checking in, reflecting, and reading...

    All weekend I was in a reflective sort of mood, so I was looking at the few "before" pictures I could locate. It's so hard to believe that my life (and hence weight) was that out of control---maybe just sad more than anything else. All I can say is WHOA!

    In the coming weeks, I'm going to try and attempt to put together a collage to put out here. While the changes on the outside are significant, I am just as proud of the changes on the inside. The inside changes are likely the ones that have cemented my success this time (man, it's hard to say "I'm successful" - I need to work on that I guess--I get embarrassed more than anything) and resulted in bonus weight loss.

    Last Week's Exercise Round Up from Polar:
    • 7 hours 2 mins
    • 3765 calories

    Friday, July 23, 2010

    Restriction? Tight? Not Tight? OH MY!

    I read a ton of blogs in Google Reader...many many more than I follow. I repeatedly read about fills, not being tight enough, restriction, etc. But hey - they are lap band blogs right?

    Maybe it's that I have been banded a while or maybe it was my personal experience with being too tight, not really realizing it, and dilation of my pouch, but I tend to be sensitive to the "search for restriction" and find myself thinking when reading "you're too tight". I guess I'm a firm believer that you should be able to eat most things...especially the important things like non-liquid hard protein and not be drinking your calories.

    The band shouldn't be restricting what you eat as much as helping you with your hunger (real hunger not head/emotional hunger). I find that by eating the correct amount of food (please note this is VOLUME not necessarily WEIGHT) and eating when hungry (even if that means more than the "prescribed" 3 times a day) that I stay within my set weight range and don't feel like I'm on a diet or deprived. As long as the food is prepared well (not overcooked) or I don't have too much of something like bread or pasta, I don't have any issues.

    And, of course, I still have cravings. And, of course, I give into them, but cravings for me are usually emotional - there's something else going on with me and I am trying to hide behind some crap food. Other times, it's just that I want something decadent and have found in this "true" non-emotional scenarios that if the high calorie food doesn't taste good that I won't eat it. Go figure?

    Anyway, I'm not sure the point of this post really. Other than I read this article on someone's blog (sorry! I can't remember which one) and it pretty much reflects my thinking and wanted to put it here for others to read and ponder. (Bandster - if you're out there, please take credit for this great find in the comments! I bookmarked the site to read future newsletters, but not the post.)

    Here's the article: (source: Dr. Terry Simpson - It's Not About Restriction)

    The Lap-band is NOT about Restriction
    When talking about the band, some patients talk about restriction. Let's first be clear about one thing: the purpose of the band is not restriction; the purpose of the band is to lose weight by suppressing the appetite.

    When band professionals talk about restriction we are talking about something totally different than "restricting what a person eats." In fact, many band surgeons avoid talking about restriction so as to not confuse patients. The band works by dimming the appetite, and this provides a conscious control and decision made by the patient, it does not work by "making" a person do something, or keep them from eating too much.

    The Lap-band works by suppressing your appetite
    As a result, you are less interested in food between meals, making it easier to resist temptation. The analogy is when you are near a vending machine when you are hungry-- what do you do? Probably find yourself with some junk food that is not a part of your plan. But, when you pass a vending machine when you are full, it may not even catch your eye. Having the appetite dimmed makes you less tempted by the many food choices modern living throws at you - -this is what the band does, by suppressing appetite you become less interested in food.

    What you should not feel, with the band, is the sensation of being "stuffed."
    When you eat Thanksgiving dinner, you can feel stuffed. Contrast that with the sensation two hours after you eat your big meal, at that point your appetite is suppressed. It is the subtle dimming of the appetite that the band should provide. Being stuffed after a large meal is a complicated sensation of the abdominal wall stretching and a lot of gas in the bowel, in addition to feeling a diminution of appetite. You will not, and should not, feel the abdominal wall stretch with the band. You should not feel the "near nausea" and you should not feel bloated.

    Key point: You should NEVER eat until you feel full. It is best to stop eating before you "feel full." If you do eat until you feel full you will most likely be overstuffed. This leads to the universal key to success -- patients who eat a small volume of food (which, if you measure, is consistent) will be successful with the band. If you want to succeed, you need to know how much you are eating, and then stop eating -- it is in your control, but the band will help you -- not by stopping you, but by allowing you to feel satisfied after the small volume.

    Early on, most Lap-band patients do have a sense of "restriction"...particularly after the first fill. When we place the band on a patient the stomach above the band typically will hold one to two ounces (by volume, not by weight). The stomach has a lot of muscle fibers, and the wall of the stomach is fairly thick. When food is consumed, it arrives in the pouch, and meets some resistance, first against the newly adjusted band, and then against the stomach which does not stretch easily. People love this feeling! It is a sense of control over food -- a leash. But it is not permanent. It makes it difficult to eat more, because the top part of the stomach and the band will resist it. If you over eat you will feel uncomfortable.

    This is the honeymoon phase, you feel full with less, no appetite, and if you try to eat more it doesn't work. They eat a small amount of food, they feel satisfied, and they are losing weight.

    For patients who rely on this sensation, they will find it will take ever increasing volumes of food to obtain this sensation. The initial response is to have their band adjusted so that they can "feel full again." Against a tighter band, the upper stomach stretches a bit (and if they eat fast it stretches more)and they again have the sensation of "feeling full." This becomes a cycle, a tighter band, the stomach stretches more-- and then instead of going back to its original size, the stomach stretches more and more to where it takes more to fill it.

    The person who continues to eat until they have this sensation, will find that it takes more and more food to obtain this feeling. Two things happen -- first the stomach stretches to where it accommodates more food, and to stretch it means you have to eat more. The second is that to "feel full" it takes the brain time to register this sensation -- this is not the sensation registered by the hypothalamus, but registered in the conscious cortex. So your stomach can be full, but your brain won't register it for a while, and if you keep eating you can overeat. As a result, the pouch dilates. Similar to a balloon, when you first start to blow up the balloon it takes a bit of force. As you continue to fill the balloon, the wall of the balloon stretches (thins out), it is easier to blow it up -- the same is true with the upper pouch. Early on, before the pouch is stretched, it takes a little bit of food to cause it to stretch, but with chronic over-eating the pouch will accommodate more and more food. The stomach wall is thinner, it is easier to stretch, and to get that sensation it takes more food than at first. Often patients will complain that they "don't feel restriction," and wish to have the band made tighter.

    There are two potential results to this: one is the patient will passively stretch the stomach and esophagus and not be eating a small amount of food. These patients simply do not lose the weight that the surgeon expects. The other is that the band will be forced down the stomach, the band will slip, which generally requires operative intervention to reposition it.

    For those patients who are rigorous about the volume of food they eat, and do not let the stomach to tell them when to stop eating - they do very well. This is one of the keys of successful patients, only eat a certain portion of food - period. If the band is properly adjusted, the appetite will be dimmed for several hours. Once your brain realizes that a small amount of food keeps you satisfied, then your eyes will adjust to the amount you eat.

    Some describe a "soft stop." Where before a sense of fullness occurs, there is a signal from your body -- this can be a runny nose, a sigh, or a subtle ache in the left shoulder. Patients who find this "soft stop," do very well with the band.

    The other advantage of eating small portions is it becomes a lifestyle change--you will have the ability to gauge the amount of food you can comfortably eat, knowing it will keep you satisfied for several hours.

    You can always -- always, always, always, -- eat more food, because, contrary to what we believed for a long time-- food passes by the band within a minute and then into your stomach. But the key to successful patients is not how much they can eat, but how little they can eat to suppress hunger.

    The band goes around your stomach, not around your brain, or your lips
    This simple concept, of eating a specific volume of food -- eating it slowly, and then walking away, is the key to successful eating habits of patients. This means that the band works with effort from you -- not by it doing everything for you. You have to make the decision to eat a small volume of food, and let the band work with you.

    The sensation that we would want the band to produce is the "soft stop." The soft stop is when you eat a small portion of food and walk away. Sometimes this is difficult, like most things, practice makes perfect. To set yourself up for success -- we recommend you use smaller plates, along with smaller utensils. If you go out to eat, ask for the to-go bag immediately, and remove the excess food from your plate. You can physically always eat more food, but the advantage about practicing small portions and walking away, is ultimately your eyes will get use to what the stomach is telling it, and it will be much easier to eat smaller portions as time goes on.

    It isn't uncommon for patients to want an adjustment because they say they can eat more

    The first question we ask is, "Why are you eating more?" The typical answer is, "Because I can." The typical response, "Just because you can does not mean you should." Since the band's job is not to restrict the amount of food you eat, do not leave that to chance -- that is your job. Part of personal accountability is to account for, to measure, to know how much you are eating at a time. The band is empowering; if you eat an appropriate amount and make appropriate food choices, you will be satisfied for several hours. This results in either weight loss, or weight maintenance (if you are at your goal). The purpose of the band is to assist you to lose weight -- and this occurs only with active participation by you: you chose what to eat, you choose how much to eat, and you practice walking away after eating that amount. The band is a tool to allow you to eat less and have your appetite dimmed resulting in weight loss, or maintenance. It is a tool to help you adopt a healthy lifestyle -- you still have the choices to make, but the band allows you to be satisfied with those choices.

    "If I could eat less and walk away, what would I need this band for?" -- a common question we are asked. Without the band, if you eat a small amount of food and walk away your appetite would rise within a couple of hours -- you would find yourself hungry and wanting more food, possibly leading to unwanted snacking. You would also find, if you willed yourself to withstand the hunger, that your weight loss gradually decreases. The band fools your brain into thinking you ate more.

    Think of it another way -- the hypothalamus does not have eyes -- it doesn't know how much you ate, it doesn't know if there is a lot of food around and you are not eating it, or if there is a band on your stomach. The hypothalamus reacts very simply to the stimulation provided by the upper part of your stomach. Stretch that thermostat, it thinks you are eating a lot -- do that consistently over time, and it behaves as if you are eating a lot all the time and will allow your body to release fat stores and not cause your body to go into a metabolic slow-down. Conversely -- if you go on a diet, without the band --and that part of the stomach is not stretched, your hypothalamus thinks you are in a famine -- it doesn't know that there is a lot of food around you.

    The purpose of banding is weight loss. Patients who are successful do not "feel tight," or "feel restricted." Instead, successful patients report that they rarely have an issue with the band, they do not "feel restriction." Successful patients come for adjustments when they notice that their appetite is returning between meals -- patients who are not successful rely upon the band to tell them when to stop eating.

    The band, in successful patients, is empowering. While, on occasions, the band is "fickle" the proper way for the band to work is for it to allow you to eat less and not be moved by an appetite.

    There is another group of Lap-band patients who do not like any sensation of restriction--a group we call volume eaters. They want to eat a lot, when they want to eat, and they do not like the sensation of a "hard stop." Nor does this group want to eat a small volume and walk away and allow their appetite to be suppressed. One patient even asked for pills for nausea, because she could not eat "a quart of chili." Yes, this person thought a quart was a normal serving size -- not a cup, a quart! Sometimes these patients come in for an adjustment, then come back thinking that the band is too tight, because when they overeat they become acutely uncomfortable, or feel as if they are "obstructed." Often these patients will come in for a fill, then an unfill, then another fill.

    It does take a bit of work to change a person's perspective about the volume of food they eat. For some there is a feeling of deprivation, a period of mourning, but ultimately the band can become a tool to overcome this sensation, and allow the patient to eat. Remember, if you want to be a 125 pound person, you have to eat like one. The band allows your body to re-set the thermostat to the amount of food that it takes to keep you satisfied between meals.

    To be more specific - food does not stay in the pouch above the band for a long period of time. Typically it travels through this area fairly quickly, usually less than a couple of minutes. The effect of the band is NOT to have food stay above the stomach in that small pouch - the effect of the band is on your appetite after a small amount of food stimulates that. Does this mean you can eat more -- yes, you can. That is always in your control.

    So the first lesson -- Eat a specific, and small, portion of food, and walk away
    If you can measure it -- you can manage it

    Monday, July 19, 2010

    Where's the couche?

    Couche? Anyone know? Well, I sure as heck didn't. The couche is the spot on a watermelon that was on the ground while it was growing...you were thinking WHAT? Ha. Anyway, turns out that for a ripe melon you should be able to see the couche when you are buyingit. If it isn't there, the melon was picked prior to maturity. Other watermelon picking tips:
    • Symemetrical melon heavy for its size and free of blemishes or soft spots
    • The belly button of the melon. OK, it's not really called that, but it kinda is just like a belly button isn't it? Anyway it's supposed to have clean indentations (not sure what that means), but indicates that the melon naturally detached from the stem which I guess is a good thing.
    (source: paraphrased from C00king Light Mag - July issue)

    Watermelons are big right? OK, maybe I'm just saying get a BIG one. A really really BIG one. Why? Cause you don't want to let that baby go to waste, right? So what do you do???? WATERMELON MOJITO PARTY!!!! Here's the recipe. It's kinda theirs and mine because I cut out some of the calories and sure as heck still tasted good to me:
    1. Muddle 2 watermelon chunks with the juice of 1 lime and 2 teaspoons of sugar in a glass. That's from the recipe. Here's what I did - took a glass, filled it halfway with watermelon chunks, sprayed in some lime from one of those fake limes that is filled with lime juice (so you really don't want to juice the whole lime in this case..just sayin'), and a packet of Truvia (that natural fake sweetener. Uh huh, natural fake - I know. But it's good). Since I do not have a kitchen equipped with all the gadgets of a culinary person, I used the bottom of a wooden spoon. Pound the hell out of the stuff that's in the glass.
    2. Stir in a handful of mint leaves. (I put them in a pounded them around some more to get some of the mint to release.)
    3. 2 ounces white rum. (I used one big shot)
    4. Ice
    5. Top with ginger ale (I used diet Sierra Mi$t---I think any clear soda would be fine.)
    6. Garnish with more mint (uh, put in a straw and get to drinkin'!)
    Paraphrased from: F00d Network Mag - July/Aug edition

    Let me just say: YUMMY!

    Workout summary from Polar for last week:
    • 8 hours 15 mins
    • 4900 calories

    Friday, July 16, 2010

    Why Do You Exercise?

    • To lose weight?
    • So you can eat whatever you want without a gain?
    • 'Cause you just "have to"?
    • You don't know?
    • Haven't really thought about it?
    Well, I've been reading (and do read) a zillion blogs in Google Reader. It struck me how many times I read or read between the lines how much all of us consider exercise something we "have" to do to lose weight. And, it is true for most, but the reason is short term really isn't it? What happens when you don't have any more weight to lose? Do you stop working out? If you do, what about re-gain?
     
    It got me thinking about why I exercise. The thoughts at top are what popped into my mind immediately. They just didn't seem good enough somehow. Especially when I honestly started thinking the "have to" and that I didn't know. Because there was more to exercise when I was younger (as in through my 20's and thin and exercising).

    So what came to me is: I feel good after I workout. Seriously good. Really really good. Good as in healthy and strong. Did I say good? When I don't workout for a period of time - I don't feel good, start feeling "blah", have less energy, don't deal with stress as well, and many many more things. So I am going to try and focus on these reasons, which are more long term, (and maybe even a bit more motivating in a way?) when I am going to workout or on one of those days (OK - there are probably a few more than that) that I get the "I don't wannas".

    Heck, I don't know. There's just a lot of crap that goes through my mind and sometimes it helps to throw it out here. Coming up in my next post - 'cause I gotta head out for some fun! - yummy boozy (as in adult) beverages to make with WATERMELON. : ) And my weekly recap....

    Thanks to all of you that are following my blog. I know that everyone is in various stages of their lap band journey and it's exciting to read about your progress and I can definitely relate to your struggles. If ANYONE (follower, lurker, etc.) has a band question, please do not hesitate from asking me. I am happy to share with you my thoughts...

    Happy FRIDAY!

    Wednesday, July 14, 2010

    Heat Advisory

    Issued by The National Weather Service / Dallas/Fort Worth, TX  / 3:01 pm CDT, Wed., Jul. 14, 2010 - Their text is in CAPS...
    ... HEAT ADVISORY REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 6 PM CDT THURSDAY...

    A HOT AND HUMID AIRMASS REMAINS IN PLACE OVER NORTH TEXAS. OVERNIGHT LOW TEMPERATURES TONIGHT WILL BE WARM IN THE UPPER 70S AND AFTERNOON HIGH TEMPERATURES ON THURSDAY WILL AGAIN BE IN THE UPPER 90S TO NEAR 100 DEGREES. IN ADDITION... HUMIDITY VALUES WILL REMAIN HIGH DURING THE PEAK HEATING HOURS OF THE AFTERNOON RESULTING IN HEAT INDEX VALUES NEAR OR ABOVE 105 DEGREES. WIND SPEEDS WILL BE LIGHTER ON THURSDAY ADDING TO THE DISCOMFORT AND LIMITING THE COOLING ABILITY OF THOSE INVOLVED IN VIGOROUS OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES. THE HOT WEATHER IS EXPECTED TO CONTINUE INTO THE UPCOMING WEEKEND AND THIS ADVISORY MAY BE EXTENDED BEYOND THURSDAY.

    Fluffy: It's July. It's Texas. It's hot. We see plenty of days that are triple digits, so I am kinda confused as to how a 95 degree day with humidity that puts the heat index into 105 gets a heat advisory. And yes, I am this big of a dork and check out the weather and the advisories and crap. But now that I type this, I am starting to think that a heat advisory appears anytime it's in the triple digits. Oh well, moving on...

    PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

    A HEAT ADVISORY MEANS THAT AFTERNOON HEAT INDEX VALUES ARE EXPECTED TO MEET OR EXCEED 105 DEGREES WHILE OVERNIGHT LOW TEMPERATURES WILL NOT FALL BELOW THE UPPER 70S.

    Fluffy: Didn't this already get stated in the first paragraph? And seriously, I checked. Most nights in July are pretty much in the 70's.

    PERSONS INVOLVED IN VIGOROUS OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES ARE URGED TO TAKE FREQUENT BREAKS AND DRINK PLENTY OF WATER. WEAR LOOSE FITTING AND LIGHT-COLORED CLOTHING. BE SURE TO CHECK ON PERSONS WITH HEALTH PROBLEMS AND THE ELDERLY... AS THEY ARE THE MOST SUSCEPTIBLE TO HEAT EXHAUSTION AND HEAT STROKE. NEVER LEAVE YOUNG CHILDREN OR PETS IN AN ENCLOSED VEHICLE... EVEN FOR A SHORT TIME... AS TEMPERATURES CAN QUICKLY RISE TO LIFE THREATENING LEVELS.

    Fluffy: Now you are talking! "Frequent Breaks" = skip workout. Drink water, wear loose fitting and light colored clothing, etc. - UH DUH (oops I used caps - although the advisories would be funny if they had some "duhs" and "dudes" in there. DUDE - IT'S HOT OUT THERE. DUH, DRINK WATER. - Much better I think). Anyway, this is seriously basic information that all Texans (and other hot climates) should follow at all times during the heat of the summer, but whatever. Now my favorite: NEVER LEAVE YOUNG CHILDREN OR PETS IN AN ENCLOSED VEHICLE... EVEN FOR A SHORT TIME - So does this mean to "never" do it during a heat advisory or ever? An argument could be made that the way this is written says only during a heat advisory. And yes, common sense would say otherwise, but I am not kidding you that every summer there are deaths of kids that are left in cars by STUPID parents. I think it needs a revision though: DUDES - REGARDLESS OF HEAT ADVISORY DON"T BE A DUMBASS. NEVER LEAVE YOUR KIDS OR PETS IN A FRICKIN CAR UNLESS YOU ARE IN THERE BAKING AND DYING WITH THEM.

    Bottom line:
    Fluffy, The National Weather Service says you do not have to go for a jog tonight. Bootcamp this morning was enough. OK, maybe it is just being conveniently used, but maybe I'll still go for a walk. (Current temp is 96, but feels like 106.)
     
    Bad news:
    The temp is high and the humidity is about 49% right now. When I go to bootcamp in the morning, the temp is projected to be a cool 78 degrees, but the humidity is going to be 87%. Honestly, the current temp and humidity is looking pretty good. Tomorrow morning is going to suck...

    Tuesday, July 13, 2010

    Blogging Works...

    Seriously. I got up yesterday morning. Felt like crap. I started getting ready and said "nope" - sinus infection - I could feel the pressure with each step. Need to go to the doc. So I went to the doc, got antibiotics, etc. and figured I'd just go to bootcamp Tuesday morning. Day goes on and the pounding and pressure is going down (thanks to the shot of antibiotics in the ass). Getting close to night bootcamp. Should I? Shouldn't I? Hubby says, "Skip it, you're not feeling well." ....Get my clothes on...Should I? Shouldn't I? Uh oh - I have to get 5 bootcamps in. If I don't go tonight, then I'll have to go TWO times another day to hit my 5 day commitment that I put on my blog....so I took my not so happy ass and went to bootcamp. Oops, please ignore the fact that I said that I would put a smile on when I went to camp...I was sick remember?!!! : )

    I didn't get that extra workout in that I thought I might. So 5+1 for last week. According to my Polar: 5 hours 38 minutes for 3091 calories.

    Friday, July 09, 2010

    BYOC – Bring Your Own Craziness

    Yep, I’m jumping on the “band” wagon. Ha ha, get it? Yes, I am hilarious and here all week!

    Week so far recap first though:
    • Toss all crap food from the house. Yes, it is a waste, but I don't care. It has to be removed from the house. - DONE....Good comment Trixie on that post. ("Just remember, it's NOT a waste if you toss it out. It's a waste if it ends up on your waiste.")
    • Make a menu for the week and stick to it. – Yes for M-Th, Going to have to figure out today – Sun.
    • Go to 5 bootcamps. Stretch goal: Add 2+ workouts on top of bootcamps. 5 +1 so far. Maybe I can get my butt to move again tomorrow and hit the stretch goal!
    • Drink, drink, drink! Increase water in the hopes of flushing some of this bloat out of myself. I have been a drinking fool! (Thanks for joining me Jody V!!!)
    And, now, courtesy of: http://justmedrazil.blogspot.com/

    Love or money? High salary or job satisfaction?
    What’s that expression? You can love a rich one as much as a poor one? It’s not so much $$$ for me, it’s ambition, drive, and success. If my husband was a teacher, but was all those things, then that would work for me. NOTE: I love teachers. I only use it as an example, because being a teacher is a GREAT job, but in my opinion teachers are not paid enough.

    Both on salary and job satisfaction…I actually have more of a three-legged stool on jobs. Leg one: Salary. Leg two: The Job Itself. Leg Three: People you work with. It’s a balance between the three. If you are not adequately happy with the three, guess what? Your stool topples over and it may be time to consider if something needs to be done. And here’s a surprise, it’s rare to be completely content with all three, (man, you are a lucky dog if you are!) but usually as long as two of the three are strong they “can” compensate for the third leg. (Uh, quit typing…OK, stopping now as I am not even sure this makes any sense!)

    What is your favorite time of day?
    Man there isn’t just one time of day. I like mornings after I’ve finished bootcamp. I like any time of day spent with my hubby or friends. Ah, sleep, I like sleep. Etc.

    My in-laws just had their wills done so it made me wonder this. Do you have a will? Did you tell anyone your wish to be kept alive or not?
    We have talked about what happens if one of us is critically injured, etc. No kids, so has not been a priority, but it is on our “to do” list.

    Repeat question. Pick one thing for one day you'll do next week that aids in your physical or mental health.
    I will go to bootcamp M-F. I will put a smile on my face and tell myself that I can do anything that she challenges us to.

    Repeat questions. Make someone a superstar for a moment...whose comment or blog stuck with you this week and why.
    I honestly can’t think of just one. Sorry…I kinda suck, but the blogs have rocked!