Tuesday, September 07, 2010


First let me start by thanking everyone for their kind comments and/or virtual hugs. I really appreciated it as I was feeling very much alone. For anyone that has read Men are from Mars / Women are from Venus, you will know what I mean by "cave". The morning of my post I had asked him to please go into his cave and come back when he had worked through it. I find this very hard to do as a female because I am the let's just keep talking about it, but like most guys he wants to go off and think or whatever guys do.

Anyway, I took Dinnerland's advice and called Dr. Laura...definitely a creative idea, Dinnerland, and made me smile. I actually am a big supporter of counseling. I've had a bunch myself.and since being married we have also gone to counseling. It's one of the pluses about being older I guess --- no problem admitting that help is needed. We're both very set in our ways and needed some perspective and tools on how to better communicate. The problem is that there is no *magic* that happens and it takes time, effort, and mis-steps to implement the changes.

Overall, I thought we had been doing very well, but I guess he thought otherwise. Anyway, I let him go and do his thing. It was hard and I was miserable, but it was the right thing to do. When he did exit his cave, we had a good conversation. Summary - he wants to remain married and continue to work through this. We discussed what we could do that would help each other and also talked about some of the things in counseling that would help us as well. Only time will tell, but I'm optimistic based on him also saying that he could appreciate the perspective about the bar being set too high, etc.

I'll apologize in advance for posting responses to the comments here...
  • Grace - Thanks for the kind words. For some reason I am having a hard time seeing your blog contents? The header comes up, but not the posts? Hopefully it's just me.
  • Jody - Appreciate the feedback that you too had/have ups and downs with Frank. My hope for you is that balance has been very much toward the ups which from your blog it sounds like it has. I hope that you have reunited with your Polar and your positive outlook is going your way!
  • Elisabeth - I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing similar challenges. I tried to see if I follow or read your blog, but for some reason I couldn't figure out what it is. Please let me know if you have a chance. I love how you said "moving on with grace and strength". In or out, I plan to take that path, but had not thought of a way to sum it up so nicely.
  • Island bandit - I just did a drive by of your blog, but only to see the post on insurance. Insurance sucks! I sure hope that you get the answers your are seeking and sure seems to me that approval is imminent (fingers crossed) with perseverance! Thanks for the nomination on the award and I'll be watching to see how things go for you. Please let me know if you have any questions along the way.
  • Dinnerland - I wasn't kidding. I did laugh from your 2nd comment, but seriously in a GOOD way. And heck you came back when I know you are busy to come back and post that after the 1st comment you left. Thanks so much for that. (I know you can make your birthday goal!)
  • Kerri - Thank you! I have got to get caught up on your journey, but WAY TO GO! What a major milestone! Congratulations on making it into the 2's. The 1's are in your future!
So as far as my journey, I did weigh myself at some point (I know it's strange isn't it that I'm not obsessed by the scale!?!) and I'm within my range (132-136lbs), so all is good on the weight front. Polar Round Up for last week:

  • 4 hours 40 mins
  • 2764 cals  


-Grace- said...

Thanks for letting me know about my blog...I don't know what the deal is!

Jody V said...

It sounds positive Fluffy! I'm very glad to hear this.

Take care of yourself and you really are rockin' that Polar! Now it's my turn too!


Island Bandit said...

hiya - glad to hear things are looking up. Great that you both are mature enough to give each other space and talk about things that bother you.

btw - i just emailed you to take you up on your offer of answering questions :)