BWAAAAAA...

Not really anything else I can say and here's why: I have been eating right and exercising all week (yeah me). Then last night I went out with a good friend for a couple adult beverages. I was already hungry, but add a little alcohol to the mix and I was starved. On the way home....TACO BELL and then I proceeded to eat a TON of candy. I am not kidding you. I ball parked the calories this morning and estimate it was easily between 1500 and 2000 for the extravaganza.

Bottom line - I can't use the drinks as the excuse. I was hungry and made bad choices. The candy - for me that slides right on by the band. So doesn't matter if I am probably already full, it goes right on down. I just plain didn't want to and wanted to eat a bunch of crap. Well, mission accomplished.

The good news - I am back on track today. That's the trick - do it - get it over with - and get back on track. In all honesty though I did do the beat up thing this morning and then said to myself - GET OVER IT AND SHUT UP. Cause it is over and done with. Nothing can be done about it now. Sometimes the self-kick-in-the-ass is quite effective for me! HA

What did I have? Nachos supreme with extra beans and a ton of fire sauce (Taco Bell really is a weakness of mine), Reese's miniature peanut butter cups, and Cadbury's milk chocolate. MMMMMM-mmmm-good I tell ya!

So, I won't - or I shouldn't be - surprised if I have little to no progress on my weigh in on Monday. Just thought of this - I just had my Superbowl party early! There is a lot of crap at Superbowl parties and this year I have decided to just stay home so I can get some things done around the place at the same time.

I am busy sorting out the house today. My friend that was here helped me get the stuff that I had piled in the garage to the donation place this morning, so I am going through the rest of the house. I've lived in this house for 12 years and crap - crap that I don't need or use I might add - has piled up. I just want it out. So, if I workout today, it will be later. If I don't, then I will for sure tomorrow.

Here's my exercise so far this week:

• Mon - 80 mins
• Tues - 80 mins + 65 mins
  
• Wed - 120 mins
• Thurs - 70 mins
• Fri - 65 mins
• Sat - **
• Sun - **

**Workout at least one of the days.

Stayed the SAME!???

That's right people. No movement on the Santa weight whatsoever. So, I am still what I was the last time I reported in (142.5 lbs). Honestly, I am surprised. I thought I would see something. The funny thing is that I am in such better shape than when I was this weight before. My mile time is 6 miles in an hour no problem and can push it a lot of days for more. I don't subscribe to the "maybe it's muscle weight" theory as it takes a TON of effort for a female to put on muscle mass and I haven't been doing that kind of workouts. It may be possible though that my fat percent has dropped, because if the scale is right - which is only one measurement people! remember that - my clothes at the pre-Santa weight (135.5 lbs) fit just fine. I would expect that a 7 lb swing would make my clothes tight and that honestly isn't the case. Anyway, who the heck really knows right? Reminder to self - it's only one measurement. Tons of factors could be in play: hormones, water, etc. Just keep on keeping on that's what I have to do and am going to do.

I'm also having some surgery in early March that will take me out of commission for some time on the workout front. I'm not positive yet how long the recovery is, but I would like to get to 134 by the surgery if at all possible. My concern with the surgery has to do with the downtime and the potential for me to not only get outta shape (inevitable), but put on some weight (just not sure what is going to happen). I'd like to be at the lowest weight by then to help manage any weight gain. I will try to monitor and eat what I am supposed to (bandster food), but the reality is that it could very likely be a HUGE struggle.

Well...

I got ready - gym clothes on, shoes, iPod - the whole deal. Then work hit again. So by the time I got all the work stuff wrapped up I only had an hour to get ready. So no workout on Friday. No workout on Saturday or Sunday either (when I am out of town with the guy that is just the reality. No workouts on Sat/Sun)...weigh in tomorrow should be interesting. My clothes are fitting fine, but I'd like the scale to be down. Plus, I'm 70 days out from my goal of being at 134 lbs. Look for another report tomorrow with the weigh in stats.

PLEASE please please weight loss fairies don't let me down! (And yes, I am a dork.) Here's the exercise stats...

• Mon - 65 mins
• Tues - 65 mins
• Wed - 65 mins
• Thurs - 65 mins
• Fri - Off
• Sat - Off
• Sun - Off

Since I am back home for the next 20 days I should be able to get my workouts back up a bit. Looking forward to some downward progress.

Procrastinating...

That is officially what I am doing. How do I know? I have worked past the time I was supposed to and have now cleaned the house. Why? Cause I didn't go work out this morning and now don't want to. I am trying to get myself to go and thought that maybe - just maybe - if I blogged about it that it would get me there.

My guy didn't have to go to work until mid-day. He said to me - why don't we go to the gym in the morning? (I normally just go.) I said - OK, if you are really going to, great. Cause it's Friday and if I don't get it done, then I won't want to. (hmmm, self-fulfilling prophecy???).

Anyway, guess what? Didn't happen. Asked him about it, then I started working. Asked again and then guess what? Time for him to go to work and no gym! GRRRRR - MEN!

So, here I am thinking about how I should go, but how I don't really really wanna.

Reasons to go:

• Santa weight (which I don't know where I am because I couldn't weigh in)
• Drinking tonight
• Won't workout tomorrow and can't Sunday because I am traveling back to TX
• Eaten OK all week, but exercise is not what it was which would be fine if eating was more than OK.
• Santa weight
• Cause I should
• Did I say: Santa Weight?
• I have to be ready by 6pm. With 1 hour to get ready - which I don't even need that much time - that leaves an hour to workout.
• I'll be glad I did afterward

Reasons not to go:

• I don't wanna

Well needless to say the reasons to go outweigh the not. But I am not making any promises. Dang it! I don't wanna! (Had to get that last little tantrum out)

Exercise so far this week:

• Monday - 65 mins
• Tuesday - 65 mins
• Wednesday - 65 mins
• Thursday - 65 mins
• Friday - TBD
• Saturday - Most likely a no.
• Sunday - Traveling - OFF

Weekly Weigh In

Well, I'm not home with my scale, so not weighing in. Scale differential is just not a good thing. I did eat well all week, exercise was OK, and did some drinking (but also a lot of dancing). I'm hoping that the scale will reflect it next week when I weigh in.

I had mentioned in a previous post that I thought there was a chance that I needed to fill. NOPE. I just need to eat what I am supposed to eat (no soft foods and hard protein) and things have been going fine. I am optimistic that I have made some progress against the Santa weight.

It's good for me to fight the urge to stand on the scale here. So, I am thinking it is a good exercise for me. I've been wondering - do women have a 'scale obsession' gene? bwwaaa

Hope everyone is doing well. I also need to catch up on everyone's blogs.

Exercise

• Monday - 65 mins
• Tuesday - 65 mins
• Wednesday - Travel - OFF
• Thursday - 65 mins
• Friday - 65 mins
• Saturday - OFF
• Sunday - OFF

OMG! Weekly Weigh In

You have got to be kidding me?? The scale must be broken. Um nope, it is Santa weight and it isn't broken AND it isn't 6 lbs. It is SEVEN. That's right people - seven-frickin-pounds. I can feel it and I can see it. Best friend says no way. I said, who is gonna lie???? I am at 142.5 from 135.5 on my birthday in December. Yes, it sucks and yes it is also a bit depressing. AND yes I am venting! I have to get it out.

I must continue to eat like a bandster (just got back on track) - avoid soft foods and most importantly avoid crap. I swear I got into a habit for a few weeks of eating around the band. Bad, bad, bad. I'm going to eat the right food and the right amount and see how things go. I honestly was feeling very hungry as well. Possible (and likely) reasons:

• I was eating crap - high sugar / high carb - body wants more, more, more!
• I was eating too much and have stretched my pouch. Had a couple bouts of heartburn.
  
• I was eating the wrong food. Too many soft foods. Therefore I wasn't feeling full.

I'll see how it goes. I really think it was all of the above. Well I have to go and watch some 'crack' TV. That's what I call TV shows that are train wreck, once you start watching them you can't stop. So, I'm off to watch Momma's Boys. (Big time hilarious train wreck. Where do they find these people??? And, hello? Why the hell am I watching! HA!)

Tomorrow...

Yep, I have to do it. Get on the scale tomorrow and find out my weight. FACE THE MUSIC WOMAN! I doubt I have much of a change and am anticipating that it will still reflect the "Wii Weigh In" of 141.5 lbs---oh please, do NOT let it be worse. A 6lbs gained from where I was before the Santa weight 135.5 lbs. (OMG - I would be sooooo glad if by some miracle it was a number starting with '13', but not going to get my hopes up...just going to say a little wish to the weight loss fairies.)

Oh well, as I've said over and over - it is what it is. Just brush myself off and get going again. I took it easy this week exercise wise because of my Wii injury (nope - seriously was not kidding about that).

Planning to get back to more of a normal workout level this week. Here's the exercise summary:

• Mon - 60 mins
• Tues - 60 mins
• Wed - OFF
• Thurs - OFF
• Fri - 60 mins
• Sat - OFF
• Sun - 60 mins

LOVE THIS STUFF!!!! Aquafina ALIVE

OK - You have to check out this new water from Aquafina (made by Pepsi/PepsiCo). This stuff is A-W-E-S-O-M-E!

There are 3 varieties available. Yeah, yeah - the pic shows 4, but I can only find 3 of the 4. Here's my free commercial for them on these...

• Energizer (Orange / Lime Flavor). Sounds weird, huh? Well it tastes GOOD! I was kinda scared it would taste too much like lime. Nope! Zero calories in this one, but the Energizer part is from the caffeine. So, be warned - it's like drinking a cup of coffee, but better for you (my opinion) but supported by the fact that they threw in some B vitamins.

• Protect (Berry Pomegranate). Now, to be fair. You put pomegranate in water and I'm a happy girl. So, I may not be the best judge on this one. Again, zippo calories. Running low on antioxidants? This one has E and C vitamins. How much? Not sure - probably on the website. (I'll let you guys go check that out if you want to.)

• Satisfy (Peach Mango). This one I can't find! I want it, want it, want it! (Tantrum is officially over.) This one has TEN calories, but guess what? It's from FIBER!!! Rock-on!!! I have a hard time getting in enough fiber. This way I get fiber and water in one go. Let's be real people - you'd have to drink TEN of these to get to 100 calories, so I am just fine with the 10 calories. I'm on the hunt for this one.

If you decide to try this out, let me know what you think!!!

Wee Little Confession

OK, it is really a Wii confession, but I'm an idiot. When I was playing with the Wii Fit for multiple hours with my friend, I got this GREAT big (stupid) idea to race the pacer (jogging game on Wii Fit). This would have been fine if I had on my running shoes instead of bare feet or have cheated the Wii by just using my arms. Did I do either? Helllllll no! So, I managed to injure my calf. Yep, a Wii Fit injury. How stupid is that??? Anyway, I was just hoping it would go away, but it hasn't. I'm fine really, but having to take it easy at the gym to prevent further injury. I decided I must stick to the eliptical and only an hour max a day. When it is gone, then back to harder and longer workouts.

I am sooo not kidding you if you can get into a workout routine and NOT stop, it really becomes a habit. I missed how good I felt after a workout, better spirits, etc. AND, it also helps control my eating. I have heard that from others as well. There is something about a workout that at least for me reinforces good choices. (No workout and for some stupid reason I will make a bad choice must easier.)

I am hoping that I'll make downward progress from what I am referring to as my 'Santa Weight'. (I think that's funny.) I am going with the Wii (not so wee - ha) weight gain that I posted as I just didn't want to deal with it if it was more ---- more than SIX pounds???? I will be weighing in officially on Monday - this post is my official reinforcement to myself. Self: get to the gym and make good choices! You WILL be officially weighing in on Monday.

2009 has been very good to me on the work and guy front (uh huh - and I like him a lot). In fact, so good that I am wondering if it will continue. Let's just say that the past two years have been very tough ones. I am a bit skeptical from those two hard years. I am not skeptical that I will get to my 134 lbs within the 90 days that I set as a goal for myself. That is in my COMPLETE control and I WILL do it...I think at goal that I will get myself a Wii and Wii Fit!

Tomorrow Back On Track

I've definitely taken a vacation from the gym for the past week and pretty much the week before. Oh well, I think the break was good and plan to just start up again tomorrow with the bajillion other resolution makers. :-) I guess I'll go a bit earlier cause from now until March the gym will be packed. Around here, the gym will drop back down around March.

Not sure if I will weigh in or not tomorrow on official weigh in day. My friend got a Wii and Wii-Fit for Christmas. Messed around with that a ton and part of the setup for the Wii-Fit is body analysis. According to that I have a lovely 6 lbs gained from where I was prior to the holiday season. I have decided to say, 'Oh well' and just get back on it. My fingers are crossed that I'll see an initial fast drop, but who knows. It is what it is. I swear I didn't eat enough extra calories for that much of a gain in such a short period, but add to that just the general diet change and lack of exercise with my sloth metabolism and it very well might be possible. Reminder to self - oh well. Just get back on it. Weight is a life long struggle with or without the band.

So tomorrow - back to the gym, eating right, and getting back on track. MY GOAL to make myself 'officially' accountable: To be at 134 in 90 days or less from January 5. This is extremely achievable and realistic. In fact, I really should be able to do it in 60 days, but decided to set the official goal at 90 days. Goal after that is to maintain within 2 lbs on either side and need to put more time into thinking about that, but will do that when I'm closer.

I hope everyone's holidays were great and I wish everyone a very happy, healthy, and prosperous new year!

Not gonna do it...

Weigh in. But the reason is pretty good. I've extended my stay out of town and don't have my scale. I think I gained and the last thing I need to do is add a scale factor in there with the variables that adds.

I don't think I did too badly considering, but far from stellar. Plus as most people have probably realized, I gain very easily. My exercise has been horrible. Two days only.

I am feeling particularly crampy today - TTOTM. And that is definitely having an impact on my desire to do much more than lay around.

Oh well. I have decided that until January 5 when I return to work, I'm not putting pressure on myself.

Exercise - um, does this qualify? ;-P

• Mon - OFF
• Tues - OFF
• Wed - 65 mins
• Thurs - 65 mins
• Fri - OFF
• Sat - OFF
• Sun - OFF

Weekly Weigh In

Let's just say that yesterday I ate like it was Christmas. A whole ton of stuff and a whole ton of salt, so I am not at all surprised that the scale is reflecting a HUGE gain of 3.5 lbs. I have got to get a handle on things. It has nothing to do with restriction. It is me making bad choices and eating crap. Regardless of how tight I am or was - chocolate, cookies, chex mix, frapps, etc. would still go down just fine. Classic eating around the band.

I wasn't going to weigh in and then decided I needed to see the damage. Needless to say I am freaking out. Tomorrow I am leaving town, so it could get worse. I am going to try to do my best to navigate all of this and not obsess as much as I possibly can. I swear it is hardest when you are trying to maintain and all the pressure people put on you to eat 'cause you are so thin'; 'you can have some'; 'it's the holidays'; the litany of these sayings is endless! I do much better when I am losing. How is it that losing is an easier goal than maintaining? I just don't get it. Oh well, cause I am back on the losing goal so that should be easier then, huh? The struggle and battle never ends!

Exercise for past week:

• Mon - 106 mins
• Tues - 105 mins
• Wed - OFF
• Thurs - OFF
• Fri - 120 mins
• Sat - 116 mins
• Sun - OFF - too busy eating...*sigh*
  

Metabolism...

....Of a sloth. That's pretty much what I have and always have had. I was thin to chubby in childhood and pretty much all through my late 20's I was thin to skinny with some maybe 20 lbs variations at the most. But I managed to do that by exercising a lot and being active all the time. In my 30's with some bad things that happened to me, I developed really really bad depression and my activity level changed to pretty much nothing other than going to work, but my sloth-like metabolism did not. So the weight piled on quickly because I would eat until I was full. Sloth-like metabolism + no activity + food = fat.

So what happened? I got even more depressed. Depression so bad that hospitalization was considered, but I was adamant that would throw me over the edge. The band was a last resort for me as I am sure it is for most others and was actually brought up as an option by my shrink. One of my complaints was never 'feeling' full. It took quite some time for me to get over the 'I'm a failure' and all that baggage that can occur with making such a decision. But it was the right one for me and I'm glad I did. That being said, it is also extremely private. I am a private person anyway, so this isn't the only thing I keep 'close to my vest' as the saying goes.

Why I am explaining all this?

• Cause I want to put my pics out here and had a set that had my head cut off, but showed it to my best friend and she said that where they were taken and what I had on could potentially compromise my identity. So I took the post down. I will try to take some that make me feel more comfortable.
• I do exercise a lot. Refer back to sloth-like metabolism. Not only for the weight benefit though, but for stress and depression management.
• Why didn't I lose all the 6lbs I gained the week before and only lost 3.5 lbs? See the post on 'December is Hard'. That same week I did all the exercise I had 1/2 slice of this choc mousse cake; 1/2 slice of cheesecake; and a king size bag of peanut M&M's. To some this might not seem like a lot, but refer back to my sloth-like metabolism. :-)
• Why so much exercise? Once I get there I enjoy it. I also use this as my free time to watch whatever I want either on the TV there or purchase/rent stuff to watch on my iTouch.
• Are you working out like a fiend the entire time? The first hour is always 'the workout'. It's hard and is what is probably what burns the 'real' calories. Anything above that is on the treadmill at usually a 4 mph pace. Sometimes with an incline and other times not. Depends on how my legs are feeling from the first hour. (Some days I do get a bit psycho though and do a long jog on the treadmill. I LOVE the rush.)
• Why don't I weigh 120 lbs? My body is shifting and I think that is messing with my weight. (Shifting - as in shrinking 'cause clothes are fitting differently.) Remember - the scale is only one measure of progress. Does that mean I plan to be 120 lbs. Um, nope. I want to be 134 lbs and then use the Weight Watchers rule for maintenance which is to stay within 2 lbs. either way.

I am going out of town next week for Christmas (yippeee) for a last minute unplanned trip, so I am hoping I can get past all the temptations and stick to 100% bandster rules this week to get back to the 135.5 lbs where I was. It isn't the end of the world or anything and if it doesn't happen, I'll just keep plugging away. I am taking my workout 'stuff' with me and planning to workout while I am at my friend's. My goal for the trip will be to maintain whatever weight I leave with (you know what I mean).

Weekly Weigh In

Current weight: 138 lbs. Amount lost - 3.5 lbs from the previous week 6 lbs gained (141.5 lbs). Trying to get back to 135.5 where I was. At least going in the right direction. Still a significant difference though, but I'll just try not to focus on that. :-)

As I said yesterday, my exercise was up. Also seems weird too considering I put in nearly 60 miles (58) - love my iTouch for sure.

Exercise

• Mon - 125 mins
• Tues - 122 mins
• Wed - 95 mins
• Thurs - 90 mins
• Fri - OFF
• Sat - 115 mins
• Sun - 135 mins

December is hard...

Man, it's birthday, then parties, then holidays, then stuff at work, then...It is ENDLESS. There is food anywhere and it is so easy to start grazing. Especially when it is yummy stuff that I like to eat. Well, I have changed some goals for the month. I am trying to get back to where I was 135.5 lbs, but other than that my goal is to maintain.

This week was not so good honestly. There were multiple work events and buffets and I sampled a lot of stuff. I didn't eat as much as I wanted to, so I did show some restraint (yeah me!), but I did have more than I needed to. It will be interesting to see my weigh in tomorrow. I am anticipating some sort of drop from the crazy six pound gain from last week and am hoping that I am not setting myself up for failure.

My exercise was awesome. My friends got me an Apple iTouch (seriously) for my birthday. I made a rule that I can only watch it (I already have an iPod and wrote a post somewhere about my love for it) when I am at the gym. So, it has worked out well. I have been catching up on some TV shows that I wanted to see and getting in long workouts at the same time. Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

To Fill or Not To Fill

I read a lot about people thinking that they need a fill. And, maybe they really do, but I wanted to share my thoughts on fills. The band is a tool. You must use it as such and you must make good choices...

Do you really really need a fill? Or maybe you just need...

• An eating change
• A behavior change
• An activity change

An eating change

• Are you eating what your provider told you what you are supposed to eat? Or are you eating crap? Be honest.
• Are you avoiding liquid calories?
• Are you eating the correct portion size? Seriously, try it. You will likely see that if you measure everything and quit when full or when the food is gone that within about 15-20 mins that you are full. (Brain delay is what I call it.)
• Are you avoiding soft foods?

A behavior change

• Are you eating only 3 times a day? Or if truly hungry and not head hungry making a wise choice in snacks?
• Are you eating breakfast? (Even if a liquid one...My experience anyway was without breakfast of some sort it stalled my weight loss.)
• Are you eating CONSCIOUSLY? Paying attention to indications that you really are full? (Some people experience a runny nose, a burp, etc.)
• Are you grazing between meals?
• Are you drinking liquids while you eat?
• Are you eating when you aren't hungry?

An activity change

• Are you moving? Like real exercise?
• Walk. No excuses not to. Work up the time if you have to, but I'd suggest 30 mins every day or with one day off. If you increase the time, then you can shorten the number of days.
• Get a pedometer. Walk 10,000 steps a day.
• EVERYONE has the time. Be honest about how much you sit around or watch TV. You can watch the TV at the gym while you are walking on the treadmill.

Bottom line - if you are or are not doing the things above as appropriate to what I suggested and are not losing weight, then I think you need a fill. If you aren't doing these things and aren't losing weight, then I don't think you need a fill. That's my two cents and I'm sticking to it!

Exercise so far this week:

• Mon - 125 mins
• Tues - 122 mins
• Wed - 95 mins

SIX Pounds??? What the )(#*$)@(#$?

Yep, Monday - official weigh in day and I am up SIX pounds. There is NO way that I ate 21,000 extra calories to make up the SIX pounds, but that is what the scale says today so I am recording it. Seriously, that is what it would take to gain SIX pounds. 21,000 EXTRA calories above what my body needs to stay alive and activity!

• Did I eat things that were not the best choices? Yes, I was out of town for my birthday.
• Did I drink alcohol? Yes, but seriously not as much as I thought I would. And, mixer was diet soda.
  
• Did I exercise? Nope, not like I normally do, BUT we walked everywhere. So, it wasn't like I was just sitting and eating the whole time. (Only one day last week of 'real' gym exercise.)
  

ARRGGGHHHHH!!

Theory: water weight. WAY more salt and other no so good stuff than normal and definitely not enough water/liquids consumed. (Well, except alcohol.)

Let's just say that my behind will be at the gym this week and I will see most if not all of this gain OFF next Monday when I weigh in.

Goals for this week:

• Gym one day off only.
• Count points. Stay within them.
• Drink enough liquids (I don't say water cause I hate water. I drink a lot of tea. And yep - caffeine in it, but don't care. I can't give up everything!)
• DON'T obsess! I have given myself permission to obsess until 5:00 today. After that - done!

And yes, I did give myself permission and all that other stuff, but as I said at the beginning - my irritation is there is NO way I had that many extra calories. I thought maybe 3 or 4 lbs max - which still seems like a lot to me - but never did I imagine SIX! And, I am venting for all of your reading pleasure! HA!

Current weight: 141.5!!! That's right - back up in the 140's (previous 135.5 lbs). OK, I think I'm done for the moment...gotta catch up on everyone else. :-)

Giving Myself a Vacation

I had mentioned that this weekend is my birthday. I am heading out of town for the weekend with my close friends for a whole lotta celebrating! That's right - drinking and eating. I am giving myself permission for this special time to do whatever. I find that giving myself permission usually tends to keep me on an even keel.

In fact, the vacation has started a bit early. I have only worked out one day this week. :-) I had originally decided that I would work out Mon-Thurs to offset any damage. Well those plans didn't work out so well and honestly I'm a little burned out and excited about going out of town, so I am also going to officially 'vacation' from the gym until Monday of next week.

I'll be back on Monday. I'm heading out tomorrow and most likely won't be back before that. Have a great weekend everyone and I sure hope everyone else is on track for the week!!

Weekly Weigh In

Well, I had decided I would be happy with remaining the same weight as last week considering the huge loss (4 lbs.) and I am trying. :-) I am focusing on the fact that what the heck is 1.5 lbs really anyway? I'm just so close to the 100 lbs mark though I can taste it. Plus, let's be real - I worked out a lot this week. Geez...

Current weight: 135.5 lbs. Amount lost - big goose egg.

Exercise

• Mon - 111 mins
• Tues - 95 mins
• Wed - 90 mins
• Thurs - Thanksgiving (OFF)
• Fri - 90 mins
• Sat - 113 mins
• Sun - OFF

For the M&M's...

OK ladies - here it is... :-)

Only difference is the actual tattoo does not have the "doo-dad's" that are around the tree. It's a representation of the tree of life.