I really like the show Army Wives. It's a military drama on Lifetime. On the episode the other week, there was a flashback where the shrink said to a soldier that was thanking him for "saving" him. In response to the soldier, the shrink said, "You drove the car, I just helped you navigate." Man, that sure struck a chord with me!
I can picture my band saying it to me: "you drove the car, I just helped you navigate". [What you don't have a talking band? : ) ] Because that really is the truth isn't it? The band is a tool. It helps us navigate our eating, but ultimately we must use (drive) the band to make it work.
You can work your way (ha - pun, weigh) around the band if you choose to with "sliders". And back in 2008 this happened to me. Stress, eating poorly (honestly a boat load of crap), and not exercising at all led me to a weight gain (10-15 lbs I think).
The band is not magic. It is a tool. A tool that must be used to get where you want and stay where you want. It does not do it on its own or for you and it requires effort - both in exercise and also in food choices (well, for most people anyway). I knew this going in and knew it all throughout the weight gain. I just chose to ignore it.
I think this weight gain though was important for me. It served a purpose which might sound really weird, but it helped me to *see* all the changes in behavior that I had made on this journey that was so much more than eating or "working the band". I saw not only the progress on the scale, all those wonderful NSVs, but the behaviors that I had adopted (dare I say needed?) that really got me to goal....and, just made me feel so much better about myself and how I felt physically. These changes included things in my personal life, my professional life, and just day-to-day behaviors.
I guess the best way to say it is that I lost focus during this time period, but that makes it sound too much like thinking about this journey all the time. And, while that may seem like the case on this blog, that isn't my reality. At the time, I just chose to go back to what was a previous comfort zone. But when I had my "aha" moment, I just felt gross and sad again.
Since this time, I have stayed on course. And, in many ways progressed leaps and bounds from where I was even prior to hitting goal. While I am glad to have my band, I really need to give myself credit. I made a lot of choices and changes that ultimately got me to where I am today. So, while the band --- and the whole heck of a lot of money I spent on it --- were likely the impetus for permanent change, ultimately I had to embrace the changes and make them just a part of me. So, that's why I am taking a timeout to "thank me".