Friday, April 29, 2011

Stool Revision

Justawallflower (who by the way, is far from "just a wallflower" in my opinion!) made a very good point on my original stool post. She mentioned that I was missing support. Since support really is a foundation item, I added a rug!
(Why yes, that is a berber rug!)

Then I started to wonder why I didn't have support in there originally and the truth is because I didn't have much throughout most of my journey outside of myself. I don't think this is a good or a bad thing for me, it just is. There are some reasons for it:

I'm estranged from my family. Isn't that a nice way to say it when you just don't have anything to do with them? I'm serious. It is - "I'm estranged." Anyway, I am. So, no support there.

I told 5 people. To this day they are the only people that know. Of those 5, I would say two just ignored everything that was going on. Never said a word and haven't really to this day said anything even though I'm 105 lbs less than I was. A bit strange, but OK. Two others would make nice comments about my progress along the way. And the last, my bff, is the one that took me to surgery and stayed with me after. She listened to me moan and complain. She's my rug.

My issues were inside me. I had to reach deep inside myself and figure things out and honestly there wasn't anyone that was going to be able to help me with this. I needed to figure out how to help myself.

Lack of trust and fear. I just don't trust people as a rule. Too many things have happened that have made trust a very big issue for me. The good news is that I recognize it which makes me aware and more open to trusting someone than I used to. But the thought of trusting someone with such personal information, when frankly it's no ones business, just didn't work for me.

Blogging and other online avenues were not what they are today. Six years ago there were only a handful of blogs and online communities just didn't "do it" for me. I think where things have evolved to is amazing and great for everyone!

This post is a perfect example of the support from blogging. Thanks Justawallflower for pointing my oversight out and giving me something to think about! And, thanks to all of you that comment and follow my blog. I find it very humbling and you are all now part of my rug!

Royal Comment
I watched the wedding of Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, to Catherine Middleton. Loved it! I just thought it was great. So different from the wedding of Prince Charles to Princess Diana (um, yah, I watched that one too). This one just seemed more real and authentic to me. They just seem perfect together! (Well, as perfect as you can get anyway, they are married after all!)

Alabama and other Southern States
Unbelievable. There are no words to describe the destruction and the nearly 300 people killed. Want to help? You can make a donation to the Red Cross.  It seems like there is also a blood shortage, so check out where your closest donation station and consider going.


Cat's Chic Chat said...

I'm in much of the same boat as you with regards to the rug. I have only told 4 people. My husband, my bff and my two cousins. I too feel somewhat estranged from my family. I too feel that it's noones business but my own what I'm doing to make myself healthier.

Darlin1 said...

Ditto---and OK with it!!!!!!!

Darlin1 said...

2 1/2 glasses of wine later!!!

Beth Ann said...

Man, I love your posts. We need to get together soon!

Sanguine said...

Fluff, thanks for digging deep and sharing. This was a lot to think about. I too am "estranged" from my entire family, I just couldn't take them anymore!! Thanks for putting a name to it, I don't know why I never used that word to describe the situation. I saw both royal weddings as well and felt the same way. I was so excited to see it!