Thursday, July 21, 2011

Whew, Almost Finished?

It turned out that hitting goal was a milestone not the finish line for me (whoa - I can't believe it's been four years since hitting my goal weight!). The modifications I made to get to my goal pretty much have continued with more flexibility in exercise and food choices overall. For me, that means some, and at times a lot, of conscious effort.

Another thing I learned about when I was honest with myself is that at goal some not so healthy trends were re-emerging. It was a vicious cycle. Lose X amount, maybe I need to lose Y more. Fit in size A, maybe I need to fit in size B. Don't get me wrong, this was an important part of my journey initially, but at some point it had to stop. I had to say it was enough, accept it, and figure out the long haul.

I try to focus on:
  • Acceptance of food as mainly fuel and not escape from something else. That doesn't include indulgences at holidays, celebrations, etc., it's the stress/emotional eating. But I do pretty much eat what I want when I want it. I guess it's intuitive eating? Whatever you want to label it, it boils down to me eating when I'm hungry (still following my personal number one band rule of portion size) and doing a quick check if what I am hungry for is not the most healthiest of choices to make sure it's not to avoid a feeling.
  • Accepting myself - being "enough"; stopping negative self talk; and focusing on the positive of my own self perception.
  • Divorcing the scale
Change is hard. Especially considering until my 30's I was pretty much viewed as thin with up/down to a bit fluffy, but my relationship with food and exercise has always been far from healthy behind the scenes. That's a lot of years of practice with some unhealthy behaviors! There are still days now and then that I think man I should lose a bit more or fit in a smaller size, find myself veering toward food to escape some feeling, and thinking negative things about myself, but in the whole scheme of things I am getting better and the frequency of these behaviors is decreasing.

And on some days, I even find that it doesn't take any conscious thought at all. Ah, progress. : )

Related posts:
The 5 W's
Divorcing the Scale


    Anonymous said...

    I hope to get to the place you are someday.

    Amanda Kiska said...

    I can relate! I also looked normal until I hit my 30's and I approach maintenance with a similar mindset.

    How did you divorce the scale or what do you mean by that? Do you still weigh yourself?

    Laura Belle said...

    oh, my gosh, perfect post. I'm not maintaining, but there are realizations that need to be made and fixed, at least to the best of my ability.

    One realization is my 'relationship' with food. And my behaviors associated with eating. But I'm working on it, and someday i'll see progress too!

    Cat said...

    I'm not near maintenance yet, but I think this is a really good - precourse reading for maintenance. I'll be doing that for a lot longer than I'll be in the losing phase. :) Thank you so much for sharing your maintenance journey with us.

    Beth Ann said...

    I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Especially your first bullet point. I'm getting there, I think, just sloooooowly. :)

    MandaPanda said...

    I hope I have your outlook when (not if) I'm four years from hitting goal weight. It's such a healthy outlook on food, exercise and weight.

    Lap Band Gal said...

    Great post. I was recently thinking about how I am never "happy" with where I am and there's always a lower number on the scale or clothes size that I want to get to. It's like the horizon, as you approach it, the farther away it is....vicious cycle :(

    Cece said...

    This post must not have hit my blogged a few days ago but I'm so glad I found it. Your focus is something that I really want to get to (from someone who has had the band for 9 days).