Thanks Dinnerland!

First a shout out to Dinnerland: Thanks for the post on your page. Nope, I don't mind at all. I did my blog for two reasons. (1) I wanted to have some place to go back and look at progress (oh all right - and a place to bitch and moan!) and (2) When I was banded, it was VERY hard to find information (at least I couldn't find much). I found that the boards covered the same stuff over and over again (sorry) and I wanted to see if my journey would be of help to people after me. (And, hopefully in some way it has!). It has been interesting to see the ebb and flow of changes in "how to use your band". What did I learn that I found most important? Weight loss even with a band sucks and is not easy?! Oh sorry, had to put that in there. In all seriousness, it's that everyone is different and every journey is different. Keep your chin up and your head down and you will get to your goal!

So to you Dinnerland - thank you and awesome job on your 5 months! And I'll be reading.Congrats on the 170's!

Barbara - Thanks for the link! I will be heading out to read that. I was cracking up on your conversation with your husband. I took a quick peak at your most recent post - I'll have to get out there and read more. In regard to the 6 small meals your doc suggested. Maybe consider looking at it a bit differently. Give yourself permission (and reassure yourself you are compliant) to have a snack if/when you are hungry. The three 'main' meals always be sure that they are the measured amount and then when/if needed have that snack. My experience (noting that everyone is different - HA!) was that I had dilated my pouch - seem to recall that it was twice. And that I actually lost MORE weight when I switched to what your doctor suggested. Just "food for thought".

Darlin' - Thanks for the comment and CONGRATULATIONS on your new lowest weight!!!

Nella - One thing to know, I always have an opinion that I'm willing to share! I read your most recent post and for me - big Y-E-S on stress and tightness for me. I definitely see a correlation. One of the other things that I found is that when eating with people that don't know that if I am not paying attention then I will eat too fast, etc. or if I am paying too much attention, then I just plain get stressed out! The good news - it gets soooo much easier over time.

So I've been thinking...

about something kinda weird. My husband and I had a talk about what the other one wants to happen if we are suddenly hurt badly, ill, or God forbid die. Anyway, I am a cremation kind of gal. I don't want to use up space on the earth (yep, I'm one of those) and bugs - um, no. I also asked him to PLEASE not keep my ashes with the ones that I can't seem to get him to do something with from the dog and the cat. I tried the tactic of explaining that at least if we do something with the ashes, we will know what happened to them, but that didn't work (ideas welcome - I don't want to end up on that show "The Marriage Ref").

Oh ya, the point. So what about my band? Is the crematory hot enough that the band will also be all melted up?

And another thing - when you get fake boobs - I think they tell you that you might need to have them replaced in 10-15 years (some sort of time period anyway) - so is there also a "life expectancy" for the band? Do they even know? And hellooooo, why am I only thinking of this now nearly 5 years out? (I vaguely recall asking at the time and was told something like - shouldn't be needed.) So, here's what I found through Google on some site:

"The lifespan of the Lap Band is uncertain but many have been in place since 1994 without failing so they appear to be durable and long lasting but may not be durable enough to last a lifetime. We cannot say what the lifespan of the band is at this time."

Sounds kinda like "shouldn't need to be", huh? Anyone get any scoop on this from their provider recently? Thoughts?

Just one...

I can't do 1 full pushup. O-N-E full pushup - no can do. I can do a ton of half pushups (on knees) and the ass kicker says my form is good and that I'll get there. Sure seems that I *should* be able to do one measly full pushup. Can you tell it bugs me? : ) And yes, I have added this as a goal for the next bootcamp session. Don't get me wrong, there will be hundreds - and what feels like thousands - of half pushups performed, but in addition I plan to bust out 1 full pushup.

On Tuesday evening the ass kicker was sending out some emails. I took it as a sign that I should go to bootcamp again for the evening session. Hubby wasn't home and what else did I really have to do? So off I went. I worked my tail off again and figured that my performance might suffer a bit in the morning as a result. But I figured since it wasn't hill day that I'd be OK. Well, you guessed it, it ended up being hill day. Man was it hard. I didn't feel sore necessarily (figured that joy wouldn't fully kick in today - guess what? I was right), but just worn out / tired. Pushed myself and made it through.

Man - my blog kinda sucks. But I keep telling myself that I am doing this to record things now and then so that I can go back and look at it as needed for reminders, but also for a history of this crazy journey. (For any bandster readers - I can't tell you how valuable that aspect of my blog has been.) Then again, and I think I mentioned this somewhere, I didn't want to just drop off the face of the earth either. I still wonder about some bloggers that were banded around the same time as me (2005) and how they are doing now --- years out from being banded.

I guess I wanted to continue to share that the journey doesn't stop and that maintenance still requires focus. The journey continues, but evolves. So there isn't much "band" news here per se and the focus has changed to more of fitness / health. (But if anyone stops by and has a question, please feel free to ask! I ALWAYS have a bandster opinion. ha)

Why has the focus changed from the band? Well, my band is just there at this point. I don't think about it except for my ugly, freaky, port on its side that can easily be seen. (Still thinking about what I am going to do about that.) I just continue to follow the basic bandster rules that I have on my sidebar, but maybe a typical day of what I eat might be of interest...

Breakfast:

• Quaker Oats - Weight Control (higher in fiber) instants oatmeal - (Maple and Brown sugar is my favorite) with added cinnamon and 20 grams (1/2 serving) of either dried blueberries or dried cherries.

Lunch:

• Lately - sandwich thin bagel sandwich. Usually something like: 2 oz. turkey, tomato, purple onion, and 1/2 avocado spread that I make (it's just 1/2 avocado mashed with hot salsa). Remember - for many this might not be possible, but my band is pretty much empty. The thins as well are really really thin, so there isn't a lot of bread and the avocado spread provides some "good" fat, but also some bandster "grease" to help with the bread. For me, I find this substantial lunch keeps any snacking at bay. As most bandsters can relate, somedays I can eat 1/2-3/4 of the sandwich. On other days, I eat the entire thing. But regardless, I stop when I start to feel full.

Dinner:

• This is where the variety comes into play. It's to endless to put in here because this is the meal I eat with hubby. If anyone is interested though, I will take the time in another post to put some of it out here.

Snack:

• Yep, I snack when needed. If I am hungry, I eat. It's controlled and I usually have a talk with myself before proceeding. Am I hungry? Am I thirsty? etc. For snacks, I usually have a few nuts or a serving of greek yogurt with cinnamon and a 1/2 serving of granola.

Big YIPPPEEE it's Friday! Have a great weekend.

Week 4 - Wrapping Up Round 2

This week marks the 4th week of this round of bootcamp. I did miss two days this session, but they were unavoidable because of work. My personal rule on missing camp is the ONLY valid reasons are:

1. I have a fever
2. I am actively puking my guts out (fever does not need to be present - HA)
3. I have to travel for work

Lucky for me(?) all three of these things rarely occur. For the next round of camp, I don't forsee missing a day.

Observations from this camp session:

• I have definitely increased my overall strength. I increased my weights this session from last and am finding that for some exercises they are too light. For next session I will either get heavier weights or small kettleballs.
• My form is improving! I continue to try and focus on form. Think about what I am doing and what muscles are "supposed" to be engaged. When I do this, I am able to feel some discomfort the next day. It's not pain, just a feeling that my muscles have been worked. On days when I don't do this, the next day I don't feel anything. To continue improve, I have to make sure to continue this next session.
• On some days we essentially do farleks although at camp they aren't called that. I have noticed an increase in my overall pace because of this. Prior to camp, I would not get this type of workout in. Camp is a good thing for this.
• I am pleased with my progress, but the next couple of months will be the true test. It's been steadily getting warmer and more humid in the morning, but it's definitely NOT what it will be. Water will be my friend.

There is a week "off" between camps. You can sign up (aka - pay more money) to do camp during this off week. I am not going to press my luck with hubby though and just take the week off from camp. It'd probably be a good idea to figure out a plan for that week, so I better get thinking on that. But then again, I do have some cash in my wallet...tee hee

OMG....Sometimes I hate Blogger...

I had written a long post and it was eaten by blogger! You know one of those thoughtful ones with personal perspective and opinion. Why does it always happen on posts like that? Is that Blogger editing me for my own good???? Maybe...so, now a totally different one...

My husband said my clothes were getting baggy. He cannot stand it when I wear clothes that don't fit and would rather have me go out and get stuff that fits. I know rough life, huh? So there were a bunch of sales yesterday and I went out to check out what I could find as I am a big time bargain shopper. Took my 6's into the dressing room. All too BIG?!? I had thought my pants were looser and my belt was cinched tighter on my trip, but a FRICKIN' FOUR? This has to be vanity sizing at it's best. Tried on more stuff, nope still need a smaller size. (Keep in mind - I am a little crazy and my mind was thinking there is just NO way.) I decided to go over to the "fancy area" where there are designer shops and yep - same thing. WEIRD. So what did I get? NOTHING. That's right nothing. I just couldn't get my mind around it yet and just came home. (Crazy huh?)

It really is disbelief with some denial maybe and some good old fashioned fear. In my mind up until this point, I have been a 6. My wedding dress was a 6 last year. I'm good with a 6 - and I really am. So I'm flat out weirding out. There's just no way; I can't be this size; will I remain this size; etc. etc.  I am sure many of you have thought similar things - ok, I'm hoping so. Anyway, for now I am going to just keep my current clothes for some adjustment time.

Uh, No...

Bootcamp conversations recently---"bootcamper" refers to different ladies:

Someday at bootcamp conversation 1:

• Bootcamper: "You should train for a marathon."
• Me: "Uh, No. I decided a long time ago that 26.whatever miles was not a goal I needed to accomplish in my lifetime and that I'd drive that distance if needed."

Someday at bootcamp conversation 2:

• Bootcamper: "You should do this X" (X - can't remember the name of the "event")
• Me: "I'll look it up on the internet."
• Me that night: "Uh no. Are you f'n insane?" The event is some psycho extreme special ops developed "thing" that is to "challenge" all aspects of fitness. Um, 1 - HEIGHTS (not a fan); 2 - Swimming in muddy stuff (not only not a fan cause I am CONVINCED in muddy stuff that something is going to grab me, but I don't swim.)
• Next day - me to bootcamper: "Hey, I looked it up you need to swim. Unfortunately (COUGH) I don't swim."
• Bootcamper: "Well hell, the water can't be that deep." (Yes, seriously)
• Me: "I mean I really don't swim. The FAQs in two places stress - you don't swim, this isn't the event for you."
• Bootcamper: "Oh, you really can't swim? That's weird. Oh well, there will be other events."

Someday at bootcamp 3:

• Bootcamper: "You should..."

What have I learned?

• The instructor/leader whatever you want to call her is an asskicker that takes extreme pleasure from asking us the next day "Are you sore?" Looking for someone to please please say yes, so that she can laugh. Enough said.
• Most of these ladies are insane. (Just sayin' - I love them all really.) Quite a number have completed MULTIPLE - not one, but MULTIPLE marathons, triathlons, or some other extreme event.
• These ladies don't know that I used to weigh 100 pounds more than I do right now. In fact, some have commented on my fitness. (Inside I giggle every time.)
• I continue to increase my strength and have some pretty good muscles to prove it!
• I love bootcamp.
• I love the asskicker pushing me and correcting my form--she cracks up that I thank her after class after the asskicking for the corrections.
• I love these ladies that are inspirations to me from their sheer joy of participating in these "insane" hard core activities.
• ...I might actually have to consider one of these types of events just to shut them up *sigh* - stay tuned

Food, food, food!

I had to go to Chicago for 3 days for work. OK, only 3 days, but it was TEAM building. TEAM building = FOOD. Seriously, from sun up to sun down with work people AND food! Did I eat some crap? Yep, I did. But I also managed to go to bootcamp on Day 1 before I left and on Day 2 I hit the exercise room at the hotel for an hour. Day 3 - I just couldn't do it. 8am - 10pm + being "on" for work mode is a killer for me. I was sleeping like crap and just plain work out. I took a day off. That's the good news.

Now for the bad news...The day off would have been OK, but then I also took Saturday and Sunday off. And, by off, I mean SLOTH central. I didn't do much of anything and on those days ate more than I would have including a significant amount of crap. I think it was really hidden? buried? emotions. Mother's Day weekend. I have a crappy relationship with my mom (translation = none) and I felt a bit of a weird sense of "I will never be a biological mother" kind of thing. Yes, these can be considered excuses, but I choose to see them as reasons. Does that make my slothness and not so stellar food choices OK? Not necessarily, but at the end of the day, we all go through ups and downs.

This was a bit of a down for me, but this morning I went to bootcamp and picked it back up again. And now that I'm typing this, I am also wondering if maybe there wasn't a bit of self-sabatoge involved? I think I also gave myself a free pass because all of my clothes are either too big or loose and "technically" I have also been weighing in less that my target range. (SELF: THERE ARE NO FREE PASSES!)

I think my port is really starting to bug me (man, this is a WHINE post. Anyone have any cheese?). It flipped right after surgery, but since it was the low profile one, I had plenty of fluff covering it, and I could still get fills (it's on - or at least it was - on it's side), I just didn't worry about it. Well, it's pretty dang noticeable at this point. The dilemma is do I really want to spend money getting it taken care of (I have been self pay my entire journey) and also have the surgery? Anyone that has insight on work on a port, please let me know!

Have a great week and anyone that might have also experienced a bit of a down - today IS the day, just leave it behind, and MOVE on. (ha ha pun)