Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Joining a Gym?

The  27 Rules of Conquering the Gym 

Below are some of the ones that made me giggle... 
  1. A gym is not designed to make you feel instantly better about yourself. If a gym wanted to make you feel instantly better about yourself, it would be a bar.
  2. No one in the history of gyms has ever lost a pound while reading "The New Yorker" and slowly pedaling a recumbent bicycle. No one.
  3. Don't fall for gimmicks. The only tried-and-true method to lose 10 pounds in 48 hours is food poisoning.
  4. You can take 10 Minute Abs, 20 Minute Abs, and 30 Minute Abs. There is also Stop Eating Pizza and Eating Sheet Cake Abs—but that's super tough!
  5. If you're motivated to buy an expensive home exercise machine, consider a "wooden coat rack." It costs $40, uses no electricity and does the exact same thing. 
  6. If a gym class is going to be effective, it's hard. If you're relaxed and enjoying yourself, you're at brunch. 
  7. Fact: Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories. 
  8. A successful gym membership is like a marriage: If it's good, you show up committed and ready for hard work. If it's not good, you show up in sweatpants and watch a lot of bad TV.
  9. There is no secret. Exercise and lay off the fries. The end.
Shout out to Grace who hit Onderland, but I can't comment on her blog...or other blogs either! Congratulations Grace!!!

12 comments:

Cat said...

This one was my favorite:

7.Fact: Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories.

HAHA! What a great post!

MandaPanda said...

The coat rack is my favorite! I had one of these...exercise equipment used as a clothes rack I mean. It worked well but I didn't lose any weight.

I also like the one about reading on a recumbant bike. I never understood people who do this. Why bother?

FitBy40 said...

Oh I love #7!
Thanks for the great laugh.

Kristin50 said...

I love this:

A successful gym membership is like a marriage: If it's good, you show up committed and ready for hard work. If it's not good, you show up in sweatpants and watch a lot of bad TV.

How true is this!!!!!!!

Awesome post!

Vanessa said...

Awesome Post! So that's why I like going to bars....

Laura Belle said...

Perfect!
Love this!

I miss bars.

Justawallflower said...

I love this, so much so that I'm printing it out and hanging it on my fridge!

Dawnya said...

LOL...I had the clothes rack treadmill. LOL

It really is great for hanging coats.

Sam said...

Love these rules :o)

Robyn's Nest said...

Love Number 5.

Cassie said...

Fabulous words of wisdom! Thanks for the share :)

Ronnie said...

I like this too much... only because it's so true. LOL