Kindness and Massive FAIL!

I was out plodding along this morning, listening to music, and really enjoying my jog. I started thinking about recent trends in posts and what came to mind is how we are unkind to ourselves. Self flagellation really.

It's the holidays and I think it's fair to say that they somewhat (well at least here in the US) revolve around food. I am done feeling bad or guilty or whatever for eating a treat now and then. Just not going to do it. So I thought I'd jot down some of the strategies I have that I use to really keep this negative crap at bay.

The basics:

• On the day of the event, I eat like I normally would. I don't cut back on meals or whatever as it will lead to feeling more hungry at the event.
• During the holidays there is always "something" that comes up that gets in the way of exercising. Shopping, events, whatever. There is just a lot of stuff going on and everyone is busy. I set a goal of the number of times that I would exercise per week for the holidays. I then workout in the mornings. Period. Get it in and done. If I don't, it's easy to talk myself out of it. And, honestly, what else do I have to do at 5am in the morning other than sleep? ;)
• I make sure that I wear something that I am comfortable in when I go. I think this means something different to everyone. For me, it's something that I feel good in. Both in how it looks and how it fits.

The food:

I decide before I go what I am having. Huh? OK, I don't know what they will be serving, but here's what I do.

• Buffet - I am having 6 whatevers. (Savory, sweet, whatever - I get 6 - or some number.).
• Sit down dinner - I will eat a bit or two of everything on my plate. If something is super good, then I'll have more of that. And yep, I'm having dessert. I'll have a bite or two to determine if it's really really good. If it is, I enjoy what I want (even if *SHUDDER* it's the entire thing). If it isn't, I don't eat it because it's there or because I feel I have to. Bottom line, I don't. This took time to learn for me. The "rude" aspect of potentially insulting the host, etc. But I got over it, when/if I get a comment about how much (or little) I am eating, I just rave about how delicious it is and say that I'm full from the prior course. It has worked well so far!
• Drinks - I'll have 2 maximum.

Interestingly what I have found is that I actually eat less. Not because I have to, I feel guilty, or anything, just that I don't want to. Notice that I didn't say "can" have. I said I "am" having. It might be a minor distinction, but for me it makes a difference. I am trying to eliminate this "can" / "can't" / "good" / "bad" mentality.

But then, there's the major FAIL! That's right, no pictures. I am a TOTAL weirdo. I took a pic when I was getting ready on Friday and it started messing with my head and not in a good way. "Uh, it looks like THAT" and other crap like that, so I deleted the picture and said "screw it". Obviously, I still have work to do in this area and wanted to take a pic on Saturday, but we were running late and it just didn't happen. Oh well, if we do something for NYE, I'll try again...or maybe Christmas---Santa brought me a new pair of boots. : ) ....loooovvveee them!!!!

Notes to Self for this Weekend

Dear Fluffy,

So what you don't know anyone other than your hubby at all these events this weekend. You WILL be fine. You have suitable clothing (hopefully!) and have nothing to feel self conscious about. Just get over yourself and have a good time. You are NORMAL and have been for some time, you are stressing out over nothing.

How about taking some pics? You have very few of you and your hubby and both of you will be dressed up. Step 1 - get your camera and pack it. And, should you forget to do this cause you are an idiot, you have a frickin' phone. So NO excuses!

Go back and look at some pics. Take your own advice and look at how far you have come. Get going. And yes, you have eaten more crap than you normally do this week and will again this weekend. Big deal! It's life and it's the holidays. It's been reasonable. Again, get over yourself. In fact, according to your Polar you worked out 6 hours, 6 minutes for 3336 calories---you got in some bonus time and not because you felt like you "had to", but just cause you felt like it!

So, to recap, take a deep breath, finish getting packed up, relax and have a good time. And, one more thing - Get Over Yourself!

Happy weekend!

Procrastinating

There are about 8 bajillion things I could be doing right now, but I don't want to do any of them. So, instead I made a few collages of various pictures of the Christmas swag around the house...dang, I might just have to do one of those bajillion things now...(After all of this, I then forgot to hit "publish". HA!)

Behind!

The holiday rush is on. Presents, parties, etc. This past weekend we had a party here at our house. I think it went well and people had a good time. This coming weekend it's parties both Friday and Saturday. I thought it would be good to catch up on logging my polar results, and also write out what I am referring to as my holiday insanity plan to ensure that I don't lose focus on myself during this time of year which is my normal tendency.

Holiday Insanity Plan

• Movement is key for me. I need the stress relief and it makes healthy choices somehow easier on days I do. Exercise goal is a minimum of 4 times per week between now and Jan 1. Anything on top of that is bonus work!
• Maintain my weight, but do not feel pressure to weigh at all if I don't want to---once a week maximum. There are too many factors that WILL create weight flux (such as salt in the food I will have to eat at the dinner events) that will temporarily artifically inflate the scale. I will focus on how my clothes are fitting!
• I will be kind to myself. The holidays ARE stressful for me. I am acknowledging and recognizing that. I will try to ask for help and support as needed from my hubby.
• I am giving myself permission to eat treats. For me giving myself permission to eat whatever I want leads to me eating less of the treats, sometimes not any at all, and lessened guilt (I am still working toward NO guilt). Proof is in the pudding and I have to remember that. I can't remember when I fully adopted this change - it must be about 10 months ago now - and it has worked. I maintained and shockingly lost more weight which I didn't expect, but quite a few books have said that this way of eating can and usually does lead to exactly what I have experienced. Go figure.

Have you thought about your holiday insanity plan?

Last week (12/8) - Polar Round Up:
Time: 4 hours 39 mins
Calories: 2663

Prior Week (11/29) Polar Round Up:
Time: 4 hours 33 mins
Calories: 2663

Fingers? What are you talking about?

The birthday weekend was great, I'll post some pics in another post. But I have to tell you about my present. My hubby had been saying for a few days when he should give me my present. So, I said, on my birthday. It went on and on, but it was pretty cute because he seemed excited? Anxious? Not quite sure.

Anyway, he gave me this wrapped box which is about a 12 inch cube and it's heavy. I think I'm getting a kettle b3ll because it was on a list of ideas. So, ooo and ahhh first that he wrapped the gift himself which I appreciated and said I don't think it's a dog, so must be a bell. He got a weird look on his face and I didn't think much of it. Well it was a dog.

Not this dog (my friend's):

But this dog which we saw in a furniture store that I thought would look cute on the corner of the desk in the office:

I started laughing because of earlier saying about a dog to find this dog statue. Meanwhile my hubby keeps saying, do you know why he has on a necklace (which he did - plastic thing)? And I said, no. His reply - cause he doesn't have any fingers. Well he just keeps repeating this. And I am thinking, what the HELL? So next thing I know he's wiggling his finger and THIS IS WHAT I SAW!!! It was still on his finger, but you get the idea. Dang, I wish I could get a better picture of it, but this will have to do.

O-M-G!!!! I can't remember if I put this in my blog or not, but when we got married I had a wedding band. No engagement ring, just a plain old tungst3n band. Why? Because I liked the idea of him getting me a big rock and when we had selected it and he was going to get it, I told him I wouldn't wear it. Yep, I just knew that a solitare would drive me nuts in the long run and I wouldn't wear it. It just wasn't "me". But I had to KNOW that he was willing to fork over the money to get me one. As soon as he was ready, it just passed because it was the "right" ring for me.

I wanted a ring that was wide and flat and sparkly. I'd go through spurts of looking, but figured one day when I wasn't looking I'd find it and sure enough. We went into a store for the fun of it and there it was.

Needless to say when he gave it to me, I was SHOCKED! It was unexpected and I cried and cried. Honestly, I had no idea that I would react this way, but I have to tell you that this ring just made me feel loved. The diamonds, right? Nope, it's stupid, but it was him sneaking around getting it, getting it resized, the creative way he gave it to me and telling me - you ALWAYS deserved a nice ring. This is long overdue and I love you...

Step awaaayyy from the decorations!

Potato peels should not go in the garbage disposal. OK, I have been putting them in a garbage disposal forever. Seriously - as long as I have ever had a garbage disposal. I may have heard you weren't supposed to, but it had not been a problem...Until the night before Thanksgiving, trust me - do NOT put potato peels down your garbage disposal. Thankfully (ha ha - Thanksgiving and all) my hubby is uber handy. He was able to fix the problem without calling a plumber. (In my defense, the drain was super clogged already which I did point out to hubby while he was working on it...quickly followed by, but I WON'T do it again. I promise.)

Once I get started on decorating for Christmas, I get out of control. Like seriously Martha St3wart outta control. I was done. Then addressed the areas that I cut corners on thinking "that will be fine". To - huh, that needs lights. Oh wait, so does that area. To the yard which then led to oooooo - the house needs lights (will be up Monday). OK, this insanity has GOT to stop! Oh, and the garland stuff - nope, no store bought assembled stuff for me. I have to make it. Here's an example:

I'll put another big long obnoxious post with more pics when I have time. I'm trying to get work wrapped up so we can leave tomorrow for our getaway weekend. Might be nice if I got around to figuring out what we will need and start packing. Oh well, at least we're driving which provides more flexibility if needed. I seriously do not feel 42 (well, technically not until the weekend). But I find myself looking in the mirror at my face trying to determine if I look 42. As if there is some way 42 is "supposed" to look? Anyway, will hit the road tomorrow and will bring a camera...