Dr. Oz & the Band

OK, I didn't see the show, but I've seen the show mentioned on multiple blogs, so I checked out what I could find.

Video Part 1

Meet two women who have had lap-band surgery. Hear about how their relationship with food has changed. Dr. Oz discusses the pros and the cons of life...

Video Part 2

Meet two women who have had lap-band surgery. Hear about how their relationship with food has changed. Dr. Oz discusses the pros and the cons of...

My thoughts:
The amount of food they are eating: The one in the black, I never ate that little. The one in the yellow, that might be more accurate of what I ate when I was too tight.

I think that what has been portrayed for food by these two examples is not reflective of an "average" banded person at 6 months or 6 years. For sake of argument, I am close to 6 years out as well. Here's what I ate yesterday: a blueberry greek yogurt, bagel thin with peanut butter and banana, chicken, an orange, serving mixed steamed veggies, and a homemade fish corn tortilla taco "thing" with fixings. Does this mean that what I eat is "right"? Nope, but it is for me. Maybe what is more accurate is somewhere more in the middle? But I do not think what was shown for the person in yellow is "average".  And, I will say that the one in the black, no way is that reflective of what "should" be eaten 6 months out.

The lady in the audience that said she's addicted to food, it seemed to me that she thinks the band is going to address this addiction. I think that if you are addicted to food that unless the real issues are addressed you will eat around the band to get your "fix". Which Dr. Oz essentially said - it's a tool, minimally invasive, but it doesn't cure the emotional connection to food. He goes on to state that no WLS is going to address the food relationship. Personally, I agree.

Did you see the show or watch the videos here? What do you think?

Thank Me?

I really like the show Army Wives. It's a military drama on Lifetime. On the episode the other week, there was a flashback where the shrink said to a soldier that was thanking him for "saving" him. In response to the soldier, the shrink said, "You drove the car, I just helped you navigate." Man, that sure struck a chord with me!

I can picture my band saying it to me: "you drove the car, I just helped you navigate". [What you don't have a talking band? : ) ] Because that really is the truth isn't it? The band is a tool. It helps us navigate our eating, but ultimately we must use (drive) the band to make it work.

You can work your way (ha - pun, weigh) around the band if you choose to with "sliders". And back in 2008 this happened to me. Stress, eating poorly (honestly a boat load of crap), and not exercising at all led me to a weight gain (10-15 lbs I think).

The band is not magic. It is a tool. A tool that must be used to get where you want and stay where you want. It does not do it on its own or for you and it requires effort - both in exercise and also in food choices (well, for most people anyway). I knew this going in and knew it all throughout the weight gain. I just chose to ignore it.

I think this weight gain though was important for me. It served a purpose which might sound really weird, but it helped me to *see* all the changes in behavior that I had made on this journey that was so much more than eating or "working the band". I saw not only the progress on the scale, all those wonderful NSVs, but the behaviors that I had adopted (dare I say needed?) that really got me to goal....and, just made me feel so much better about myself and how I felt physically. These changes included things in my personal life, my professional life, and just day-to-day behaviors.

I guess the best way to say it is that I lost focus during this time period, but that makes it sound too much like thinking about this journey all the time. And, while that may seem like the case on this blog, that isn't my reality. At the time, I just chose to go back to what was a previous comfort zone. But when I had my "aha" moment, I just felt gross and sad again.

Since this time, I have stayed on course. And, in many ways progressed leaps and bounds from where I was even prior to hitting goal. While I am glad to have my band, I really need to give myself credit. I made a lot of choices and changes that ultimately got me to where I am today. So, while the band --- and the whole heck of a lot of money I spent on it --- were likely the impetus for permanent change, ultimately I had to embrace the changes and make them just a part of me. So, that's why I am taking a timeout to "thank me".

Wellness Goals - 1st Quarter Results

I think the easiest way to track against my 2011 Wellness Goals I set here, is to update them every quarter. So the next update will be sometime in early July.

1. Boot camps. Goal: 200 camps. Stretch Goal: 240.

• So far: 58
• At the rate I am currently trending, I *should* hit my goal number. I am thinking that the weeks that there isn't camp that if I take a group exercise class at the gym, I will just add it here as well.

2. Training/Race Total Miles. Goal: 416 miles. Stretch Goal: 520 miles.

• So far: 91.92 miles
• I'm trending a bit short here for the year as this only has "running" miles included, but I think I should hit my goal.

3. Half Marathon(s). Goal: 1. Stretch Goal: 2.

• So far: 1 - Goal completed. : ) ... considering another one

4. 5K or other races such as obstacle races. Goal: 3. Stretch Goal: 5.

• So far: 1 5K completed; Signed up for: 1 obstacle
• There are 3 other 5Ks I am considering and possibly a 15K that is supposed to have a cool shirt. It's likely that I'll hit my strech goal on this one.

5. Calorie Burn. Goal: 130,000 Stretch Goal: 150,000

• So far: 50,900
• This goal might be set too low. At the current rate, it's possible that I would kill my stretch goal. I'll see where it is at the end of the 2nd quarter and may need to adjust it a little.

Weekly Round Up

Miscellaneous Items from the Weekend:

• My husband went to bootcamp with me on Saturday. On Sunday, he was complaining about how sore his butt was - HA! I asked him to massage my butt when I first started bootcamp over a year ago and he thought I had lost my mind at the time, not anymore! (Yes, I did giggle just a little itty bit.)
• Soft white corn tortilla chicken taco with all the fixins from Chipotle = love. Mmmm, Chipotle.
• I took the entire week off from running. I liked the break.
• Some buddies are trying to convince me to run another half a week from TODAY! While my training says I can, I'm just not feeling it. Translation - Don't wanna. But I am *thinking* about doing one in May, August, and December. Uh, excuse me, who the hell am I?
• Chips with a hint of lime with guacamole = dangerous, but super yummy. From where? Chipotle of course! I hadn't been there in a while and I had forgotten how much I liked their food.
• I received a catalog in the mail from JCP. To save a wasted trip and cause I am just not a huge fan of shopping, I check the inventory at stores near me online for items when I can. Seriously, every single thing I was interested in going to look at was "unavailable" at a store near me. What is up with that?  I went ahead and ordered the items online. Fingers crossed what I ordered works out.
• The weather has been strange. It was really cold, then nice, and now super windy, but nice. Weird, but typical for Texas.
• Only 21 days until Easter....I will likely eat an ENTIRE bag of Reese's PB eggs.
• Starbucks has that new size - Trenta. I didn't think I'd ever order this size, but then Spring came around and I remembered my spring/summer drink -- unsweetened passion iced tea : ) - zero calories.
• There has been a free weekend of multiple premium channels from my cable provider. We tried to find a movie to watch Friday and Saturday evening and we couldn't find a thing!
• I did every single bit of laundry...for about 5 minutes. Every piece was also folded (h-a-t-e) and put away (dislike). Why is it that the laundry bin can't stay empty for a period of time to make all the effort worth it????
• Monday is tomorrow again already???? UGH!
• Weekly recap: 6 bootcamps - calories: 3656

Comments Settings & Ramblings (serious ramblings, you've been warned)

There have been various mentions of changing the settings on the comments for some reason. Does anyone know what the changes are that were recommended and why? I really couldn't figure it out and now that's bugging me! Thanks in advance for helping me figure out this mystery!

And, while speaking of comments, I read a lot of blogs. I get them in a reader feed and I like to keep up with them as much as I can. Anyway, I used to think well all I really have to say is "congratulations" or "good job" and decided that wasn't valuable or enough. In the past couple of weeks, I changed my thinking on that. I thought back through my journey and realized that one or two words was important to me. In blog land it's also some sign that "hey, look someone IS reading this". So, that's what I do now. Because I really am excited for people---every success makes me smile and I can relate to nearly all of the struggles and stumbles along the way. I hope that when the one or two words are posted  that they take it positively and not that I'm lazy or something. Anyway, not sure where all that came from...

Excess Weight Loss post...Thanks for the comments! I think my intent of the complex math might have gotten a little lost in the shuffle of the complexity. All the articles and studies on lap band make references to results based excess weight loss. Like this:

I hadn't been able to find a definition for how EWL was calculated directly where I would see the references and percentages and I wanted to figure it out. What I find a bit shocking is that based on the calculation that I found results are not as high as I personally perceived them. As you can see above 3 years out is 64% / 73% here. Using the calculation to determine my excess weight loss, my results are 156.7%. While I think I have been successful, I don't think in reality it is 156.7% worth of success.

What concerns me has to do with the averaging that occurs on the data. With results like mine, mixed with others like me, it moves up the average. Just for illustration, if you take a 156.7% and a 10% result, then the average would be roughly 83%. And, when I see just "83%" without the details, my reaction is "hey, that's good. this thing really works". But if I saw the data behind the percent would I still be as impressed? And, yes there's all that highs and lows average out, but what if I saw another cut of the data that really showed I had a 50/50 chance of being a high OR a low and there weren't many inbetween? The scenarios are endless and pretty pointless without the "real" data which I don't have access to - RATS! Bottom line data can be used in such a way to support a desired perspective...and I'm just a data dork. Please disregard. HA!

YA FRIDAY!!!! : )

What the )*(@)#($*@ is Excess Weight?

So the flurry of news stories about the lap band got me thinking again. What is success as defined in these various articles/studies? All of them have some reference to "excess weight". Well, what the hell is excess weight and how is it calculated? Is it "ideal weight"?  BMI at the top of the "normal" zone? Heck if I know, but it bugged me enough to do some digging.

So first step, figure out what the heck excess weight is. I found this:

Calculating Excess Weight Loss
Excess weight is the amount of weight over ideal weight. Ideal weights are published in the Metropolitan Life Insurance height-weight tables. These tables display weight ranges for small, medium, and large frame sizes. Ideal weight is considered to be the maximum weight in the large frame size range. To calculate the percentage of excess weight loss (%EWL) divide weight lost by maximum excess weight and multiply by 100. The tables include one inch of height for shoes, so an inch needs to be added to actual height to see the correct weight range. (source)

According to the Metropolitan Life Insurance height weight table, my weight for height (5'8") and frame (small) is a range of: 126-139 lbs. So, my "ideal weight" is 139 lbs. BUT if you look above, ideal weight is the maximum weight in the large frame size range - 146-167 lbs. Therefore, my "ideal weight" for this calculation is 167 lbs.

 
Calculating the percentage of excess weight loss is divide the weight lost by the maximum excess weight and multiply by 100. (OMG, keep in mind this reminds me of one of those Tim is running this fast and Suzie is running that fast, but this happens and that happens, so who gets there first things...so, it is highly likely that I have screwed this up!!!)

• Divide weight lost = 105 lbs (234 lbs max weight - 129 lbs = 105 lbs)
• Maximum excess weight = 67 lbs (234 lbs max weight - 167 lbs ideal weight)
• Multiply by 100
• EWL Answer: 156.7% ---I think, please see "OMG" note above. HA!

OK, great, but let's use a more realistic calculation for me using the high end that matches my frame size.

• Divide weight lost = 105 lbs (234 lbs max weight - 129 lbs = 105 lbs)
• Maximum excess weight = 95 lbs (234 lbs max weight - 139 lbs ideal weight)
• Multiply by 100
• EWL Answer: 110.5%

I think this one is a more accurate measurement for me.

From the same source, it says: "the range reported by the best published Gastric Banding studies worldwide, which generally show about 60% EWL after 2-3 years."
 
Anyway, I thought it was interesting and answered the question for me. Try it, you might find based on how the "experts" calculate EWL that you are much further along than you thought!

I'm a little verklempt from all this math, please.talk amongst yourselves...or in the comments!

Half Marathon Final Thoughts

Things that made me go hmmmmm....

• Portas - OMG, they were gross. I am sure the late arrival didn't help. But my friend said the ones at the parking lot to get the shuttle would have less of a line. So, I go in and hold my breath. Not going to get into the details, let me just tell you the porta was disgusting. Ironically, we waited in line and when we got to the race location sure enough no line and portas as far as the eye could see.
• Cheerleaders - Being your own cheerleader is great, but having even one person along the race route sure makes a difference. It gave me something to focus on and it was just neat to see his smiling face.
• Tangents - If you don't "run the tangents" you are going to run farther, because that's how the course is measured. Uh, I realized that I wasn't running them and didn't correct this for a while, so that's why my race ended up being 13.2 instead of 13.1.
• Mind - I think I may have figured out how to work with my mind this race. Which is a big big accomplishment! I just can't let myself "get in my head". Checking in with myself just doesn't work for me. What works is to focus on things outside of myself and repeating a postive mantra (you've got this) throughout the event if I starting leaning towards getting in my head.
• Enjoy the event - I really did take the time to check out all the neat scenery on the route, the spectators' signs, and the bands along the way. While I checked my Garmin now and then early in the race, it was to ensure that my pace wasn't too fast. Favorite signs: "You're made of Tiger Blood! You can do this!"; "Free Ipad 2's at the finish line while supplies last - HURRY!"
• Be fearless - As stupid as this sounds, for me this meant to get over race time. It was to "be fearless" of the clock and the time it displayed. Hmmm, typing that it's triggering similarities to the scale. Giving my power to the scale like giving power to the clock and telling me if my race was "good" or not. My goal for the race was to finish, enjoy it, and be able to return to bootcamp without recovery time. Checked the boxes on all three. And it was also pointed out by multiple people (including the trainers at camp) that not having done a half in almost 20 years that this was a very respectable time.
• Let your inner athlete out - This was what probably reads as my cocky attitude of "you've got this". It really isn't, it was my tool for stopping negative talk. I could have EASILY allowed all of my doubts to overtake me, but I didn't. I told myself to believe, that all my hard work will pay off, and that in my own way I am an athlete and I was letting her out!

Final thought: I believe that everyone has an inner athlete. Yes everyone, including YOU! It doesn't matter what others say or the experts, it's achieving your goals whether that's finishing a 5K in under an hour or a marathon. Be proud of what you set out to do, be fearless, strong, and let that inner athlete out! GO YOU! : )

Tracking for last week:

• 5 bootcamps and 1 half (13.2 miles) - calories: 4520.

.....hmmmmm, so what's next????

You look fast...(race recap)

I went to the expo on Friday with my husband. Honestly, I thought there would be more stuff (both free swag and booths in general). I did end up getting a headband (needed a wicking one) and some beans, but we were in and out pretty quickly. I am sure that Saturday was a total nightmare. 

Saturday was a rest day. I did chores around the house and kept busy to keep my mind off the race. We also went to see a movie "Lincoln Lawyer" which received very good reviews, but we left wondering why. I went to bed at my normal time and had my alarm set for 5am to get up and have something to eat. I figured if we left the house at 6am we would be fine.

I got up and got dressed. My husband (who was going to cheer me on) slept a bit longer. When he got up and saw me, he said to me "you look fast in that outfit". Boy, was that the most perfect thing to say or what?

I threw on a long sleeve shirt over the top and he asked about moving my number to that shirt. You should have seen his face when I said I am going to throw it on the side of the course somewhere between mile 1 and 2. He didn't know that people do that throughout the race. I wore something that was too big and kinda worn out at this point for donation. Best thing - now I need a replacement top, right? : )

We get to where we were 1 mile from the exit we need and we hit this:

20 minutes and we moved about 20 car lengths. It was now less than an hour from the race start time. Another 20 minutes and we are finally moving. I was getting stressed, but figured there was no way the shuttles were going to strand racers in the village area.

We got parked and made our way to the shuttles. This was easily a quarter mile, but I used it as my warm up. Porta stop (more on that later) and we get on the bus. We arrive at the race start after corrals were already starting to cross the start line. My corral was the next one to go, so I hustled it up toward the starting line and started walking with the others. My husband caught up and gave me a kiss, said you are going to do awesome, have fun, and see you at the halfway point.

I felt great. The weather was perfect and the course went through some really neat parts of town. I was so excited my husband was waiting for me at the halfway point. 5 miles went by in no time, then 6, and somewhere between 6 and 7 there was my husband! I went over, gave him a kiss, and kept on going. He said I looked like I was just on a short jog and looked like I had a ton of energy. Thanks for that husband!

The entire race I did not let myself get into my head. I enjoyed the scenery, the bands, and just listened to my body. I just kept thinking "You've got this. Enjoy the race and take it easy."

There it was! 10 miles. Only a 5K to go. "You've got this. Keep going. You're fine." Around the corner and there was the finish line! It was hard to know my time as I didn't see the clock when I started the race, but I told myself that as long as I finished under 2:30, I was going to be happy.

My time: 2:15. I had so much gas in the tank the last 4 miles of the race, I know I *could* have had a faster time, but you know what? It doesn't matter. What matters is I did it, I had FUN, and I know that I will achieve my main goal of returning to camp tomorrow with no recovery day needed.

I have some other thoughts, but I'll get those in another post. Here's a pic of the shirt and medal.

NSV - I requested a small shirt. When I went to pick it up at the expo, the guy looked at me and the ticket and said, you won't be happy with a small. Let me give you an extra small.

Front of shirt and medal

This thing could double as a weapon.

Back of shirt. It's the neatest part in my opinion. It is in the middle running top to bottom.

Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!...and a mule!

What's that noise? Thwack! Thwack! Duck? Nope. It's a rubberband that I found to remind myself of this post. It's not really that I am using it to "thwack" myself as much as I am using it as a visual reminder of all the positive thoughts I am implanting in my brain.

Rest assured my bloggy pals, this race is gonna happen and I am going to finish it! My bff doesn't call me Francis for nothing. I've earned that name! I am stubborn as all get out, just like Francis the mule.

Thanks for all the encouraging comments! I'm off to the expo tomorrow. I'm hoping to get lots of free STUFF! My husband is going with me which is super great because that means double the free stuff...for me!!

Note To Self

Shut the hell up! You are psyching yourself out and it's not even Sunday yet. In fact, you idiot, you did 12 miles the other weekend and were just fine, remember? The next day you went to camp and were fine. You even completed the 12 at a more than respectable pace (even though this race is NOT about time). 13.1 miles with the company of 8 million of your closest friends (ha) is going to get you through on adrenaline alone. Get O-V-E-R yourself and knock it OFF.

See the list below? You are releasing these negative thoughts into blog land---throwing them out and away. If you find yourself thinking them, you will slap yourself upside the head immediately. (I wish I had one of those wide rubber bands to wear and FLICK myself every time I have a thought. I've heard that works.)
So here goes:

• Thought: Man, all this rest is going to hurt me. REALITY: Um, so the 123 million experts out there that say the rest the week before are WRONG? Um, no. And, add to that you are still doing 5 bootcamps and 2 short runs. Get over it. It's not like you are sitting around doing nothing.
• Thought: Man, I'm tired. REALITY: No you aren't. You are mentally saying that, but your routine this week is no different than any other week. Quit it!
• Thought: Man, the weather doesn't look good. REALITY: HELLO? It's Texas. You won't know the weather until the morning of the race. It changes all the time. Quit looking at the weather and just have your two weather outfits ready to go.
• Thought: Man, I don't think I can do this. REALITY: Yes you CAN. If you are honest with yourself you are deep down worrying about time and what "others" might think. You told yourself this isn't about time or others. It's about not hating the experience---maybe even *shudder* having F-U-N---and being able to return to camp the following day.

Bottom line: You CAN do this. Your legs WILL show up. You ARE prepared. YOU have to be your best cheerleader.

4 days until the race...translation: 4 more days of anxiety and whining.

Interesting?

Here's an article that essentially says that complications are likely with the band. I'm not sure if it's "interesting" or not, but I couldn't think of a title! My reaction to it is that it seems like a very limited study and makes me wonder if is it statistically relevant or not. Regardless, I thought I'd share.

Content from referenced link above.
By Frederik Joelving
NEW YORK
Mon Mar 21, 2011 4:45pm EDT

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - An older kind of Lap-Band weight-loss surgery could lead to severe complications over the long haul, Belgian researchers said Monday.

The surgery works by placing a silicone band around the top portion of the stomach to restrict food intake. It has become an increasingly popular option in the battle against obesity, but some experts have worried about its safety.

The Belgian team found that as many as half their patients, followed for at least 12 years, needed to have the band removed in that period. And in more than a quarter, the band had gnawed its way through the wall of the stomach.

"The high failure rate of (Lap-Band surgery), at least in our hands, could be detrimental to its future continued widespread use as a restrictive weight loss operation," Dr. Jacques Himpens of the Saint Pierre University Hospital in Brussels and colleagues write in the Archives of Surgery.

"This is what I was worried about," said Dr. Mary Brandt, who heads the pediatric surgical program at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston and has criticized the Lap-Band surgery before.

"I think these data support my opinion that lap band is not the right operation for adolescents," she told Reuters Health in an email.

According to Allergan -- the Irvine, California-based company that makes the Lap-Band system -- its product has been used in more than 500,000 procedures worldwide. It commands more than two-thirds of a $300 million to $400 million market.

In an email to Reuters Health, Allergan criticized the new study and said both the surgical technique and the Lap-Band itself had changed in the interim.

It also noted that the study was based on only 151 patients from a single hospital, and that the researchers had only been able to test half of those patients.

"We are disappointed to see the publication of an ill-constructed, single-center clinical assessment that does not meet the high clinical standards one should expect from peer-reviewed data, and is not reflective of today's clinical standards," Cathy Taylor, Allergan's director of Corporate Communications, said.

Dr. Marc P. Michalsky, surgical director for the Center for Healthy Weight and Nutrition at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, seconded the criticism.

"In some ways it is a bit of a historic snapshot of this type of surgery 15 years ago," he said. "I would take these results with a grain of salt."

On average, the patients in the study lost about 43 percent of their excess weight -- a number that was outpaced by the gold standard weight-loss surgery, called gastric bypass.

Four out of every ten patients in the study suffered a major complication of the surgery, such as the band going into the stomach or the stomach pouch enlarging. Overall, six in ten patients ended up on the operating table again.

In 2009, more than 220,000 Americans had some type of weight loss surgery, at a price of about $20,000 per patient, according to the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery.

"I don't think there's one operation that is good for everybody," Michalsky said. "It really boils down to a combination of considerations by the surgeon and the patient."

SOURCE: bit.ly/9qX5ZA Archives of Surgery, March 21, 2011.

Sunday with a "Fun"

Today was "Funday" not Sunday. I had the pleasure of meeting Beth Ann who you can find here. She has done - A-MAZING. I have to tell you between us that picture on her profile - doesn't do her justice! She is way cuter and thinner in person.

We grabbed a nice cup of soup at the food court and chatted. Then we went around the mall to find a "going out" outfit for Beth Ann. She has had many recent NSV's and I got to be there while she had another one! She easily fit in clothes in all the shops we went to. I am positive she is going to have a great time next weekend with her sorority sisters and they are going to agree she looks great. Needless to say, she's also a really nice, accomplished, and intelligent gal!

It was a pleasure meeting Beth Ann and I hope we get together again.

Thoughts on this post

So Read posted this post. I might have even read Read's wrong or interpreted it incorrectly, but this is what I have thought about since I read it a few days ago...

Would my relationship with my husband change if I went back to where I was? For me, this is an easy answer. I think it definitely would. My husband has only known me as I am now, so I think that would make it very hard on him---and, that's meant in no negative way toward him at all. Hmmm, how to explain what I mean. I guess I know that not only would I be fat - which I think he wouldn't find attractive - but I think I would be sad and depressed like I was which would be a beat down for him. I wouldn't be the person I am now physically OR mentally.

Do I want to go back? Does anyone? I didn't think so! Either do I. And I also think could I? And, I can say no. I had hit such a pit of despair that it has left such a scar on me (and some scare too!) that gaining 105 lbs. back is just not something I can do, nor will I allow myself to. I am so much happier and feel so much better, it just isn't an option.

Fat thoughts? Yes, we're women. I think it's unfortunately whether it's a sex thing (hormones anyone?) or an environment thing, I have them now and then. Put on an outfit - dang, this makes me look fat. Start a day - dang, I feel fat. While I have been working on changing the words to things like this outfit is not flattering to me and man I feel bloated today or something "non-fat" related, the thoughts still surface now and then.

Thin thoughts? For me, I am trying to change this as well. Much like fat, I don't want thin or skinny in the mix either. It's a mental thing. For me healthy, strong, lean --- those sorts of words --- work better.

Did this journey and losing the weight magically made my life better? I think what made my life better was the by product - the mental aspect, feeling better, and all that other stuff. It has equipped me to handle life stress as it surfaces. So, in reality the stress is still there, but how I react or the choices I make are better. I think a large aspect of that is making "me" things a priority. I am fully commited to living the best and healthiest life I can...and have a heck of a lot of fun while doing it!

Since I've finished my long training run and planning tomorrow as an "off" day, here's a recap of last week:

• 0 bootcamps, 1 exercise class & 2 training run (14.5 miles) - calories: 1486 (Oops, kinda low. Oh well!)

Yes, it still happens...

I met a friend at a gym we both belong to for a barbell group class. Neither of us had tried the class before, but we figured what the hell. We admitted we were a bit intimidated as it's relatively new, but we looked at it as an opprotunity to test our fitness.

We get there and we knew there was all this "setup" that was required, so we told the instructor that we were new, what would we need, etc. She tells us that since this is our first class we should put 2.5 lb plates on our bar. That's not a typo - no asking us about our fitness level or anything. We looked at one another, shrugged, and said OK.

We went and "loaded" up our bar and I said to my friend we are going to throw these through the ceiling. So, we saw some chicks that seemed like they were our fitness level and loaded to 35 lbs with multiple plates as we knew we'd be doing lower and upper body.

The victory for both of us was after class we said that we could have easily put another 20 lbs on the bar for the max weight work as my max heart rate only hit 145 for a short period of time  and we completed all exercises and reps easily with no modifications. We felt good, strong, and honestly validated that our fitness routine is paying off!

Then, I got home. We had decided we would meet up with some friends at a bar for St. Pat's for a bit. I was overly hungry and in a rush. I had made traditional corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, and carrots. At this point, with essentially nothing in my band (.2) I can eat whatever. I just always watch the amount and do the basics.

So, what did I do? I ate totally mindlessly. The portion was the right amount, but I ate way too fast and paid no attention to the size of the bites so that I could get ready and we could get going. BAD MOVE! And, it was a sneak up attack. I felt totally fine. Then on the drive to the bar I knew that something was up. OMG, I was SOOOO miserable!!! It was visible to my husband and my friends that I was not feeling well. I then suffered in silence for TWO frickin' hours. Oh well, just shows even this far out that bad habits can still surface.

Wellness Goals - better late than never

So, I've been thinking that I should put together some goals for 2011. Hey, better late than never, right? I've come up with some rough ideas and thought I'd jot them down. I'll have to see if they make sense or not though....um, cause I haven't put a whole ton of thought into it, I've never set wellness goals really before since starting this journey, and they need to be S.M.A.R.T (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely).

Man, I'm also going to have to go back and figure out what I have done so far in 2011. Oh well, I'm leaving that for another day. Procrastination at its best!

2011 Wellness Goals

Boot camps. Goal: 200 camps. Stretch Goal: 240.
I'm not quite sure how many camps are offered in a year. I'm going to have to look at this one a bit closer. The goal is pretty much 5 days of camp a week when camp is offered---taking out a bit for vacation. The stretch is based on taking a couple extra camps a week and I've included it more in case of error in the base calculation. I don't want to make this sound complex, cause it's kind of pull it outta my butt approach, but I need some detail so I know how the hell I came up with it when in July I say "what the hell was I thinking?".

Training/Race Total Miles. Goal: 416 miles.  Stretch Goal: 520 miles.
The goal is calculated at 8 miles per week for the year. Then the stretch goal is calculated at 10 miles per week.

Half Marathon(s). Goal: 1. Stretch Goal: 2.
As I go on and on and oooonnn about, I am already doing one, but I am tossing around the idea of doing another. I'll talk about that though after I survive this first one.

5K or other races such as obstacle races. Goal: 3. Stretch Goal: 5.
My goal is probably too low here. I've already completed 1 5K. I've signed up for the Texas Chicken Run, and know I am going to do a 5K in August. I might have to up this one a bit. Oh, the chicken run - it's obstacles. I am going to be SCARED on some of them as I am not a fan of heights at all, but go look at the site. Check out the hat you get for doing it???? Yep, had to do it for the hat. (Plus a bunch of friends are doing it. Peer pressure anyone?)

Calorie Burn. Goal: 130,000 Stretch Goal: 150,000
This one may be one that I should toss out the window. It's 500 calories x 5 days a week x 52 weeks. The stretch goal....cause it was a cool number? I just picked it out of the air.

Notice something? No. Weight. Loss. Goal. First! Time! Ever!...I'm not even going to put in maintain my weight or anything weight related because hitting my wellness goals and eating well most of the time will ensure success. Hmmm, but maybe I should have a goal in there like: Make healthy choices most of the time? 90%? I don't know, I'll have to think on that. I think I'll just treat this like work --- see how I'm tracking mid-year and tweak as needed.

Other items:

• The days off I had really made me fly on my run. I am a believer of tapering big time now. I got out there - supposed to do an easy 4 miles. Felt good and looked at my pace - wow, fast (for me). Finished the 4 and had so much gas left and since I hadn't worked out the two days before, jogged another easy one. It felt good.
• Eating acknowledged and addressed. Slowing myself down and asking myself am I eating because I'm hungry? And some of the basic tools I've used along the way.
• Overall stress seems to be down. Hmmm, could it be the working out and not eating crap? I vote yes.

Houston, we have the start of a problem...

From Wikipedia:

"Tapering, in the context of sports, refers to the practice of reducing, or tapering off, exercise in the days just before an important competition. Tapering is customary in many endurance sports, such as the marathon, athletics and swimming. For many athletes, a significant period of tapering is essential for optimal performance. The tapering period frequently lasts as much as a week or more."

Hmmmm, I don't think tapering off means NOT working out since the long run on Sunday. Especially as it is two weeks out from the race. My schedule is messed up this week and with the added bonus of the time change I am just out of whack. This is definitely not part of my planned taper which is really next week and still involves some short runs and bootcamp.

But I am trying not to sweat it. (Ha, I haven't been have I?) I am just going to pick it up today and make it a priority to get a run in and ensure I do the last longer run this weekend. I have to trust my training that I've done that I'm ready, but the mental aspect of this upcoming race is looming out there.

I can feel this underlying stress inside of me from a number of things---the half is just an added stresser right now. It's also reflected in my eating, which while not horrible, hasn't been particularly good either since about Saturday. In hindsight, I realize that I have been eating when I am not really hungry and having more treats. It's not the end of the world, but it's important that I call myself out on this trend so it doesn't continue. It's funny, but while I know it's not possible by what I have eaten, I feel like I am 10 lbs heavier and just blah. Proof that for me eating well does a body good!

Spring

I love Spring, but I don't like "springing forward". Why?

• It's dark too late in the morning.
• It takes time for my body to adjust to the change in sleep patterns. Which usually ends up throwing off eating and exercise and providing everyone the joy of being around some grumpiness.
• And, basically I think it's crap. Just sayin'. I vote for picking either daylight or standard and sticking to it. Arizona and Hawaii are smart---they just opt out. (And with a quick search looks like China, Japan, and India do as well.)

Are you a lover or a hater of daylight savings times?

A side note: The destruction across the world either from earthquakes, fires, floods, or tsunamis has really been weighing on me. What I saw on the news was horrific in Japan and the continued nuclear challenges only appear to be making things worse. I can't even put it into words what I think/feel, but I thought I should at least make mention of it. My husband is on alert and may start flying there with supplies in the next few weeks. We are waiting to see if he gets orders or not.

Throwing it out

It's funny, but throwing it out into the universe of blogland really works for me. (Thanks Read and Justawallflower for checking in!) After hitting publish I thought, "Well, now I have to just go do it." I got my gear on and hit the road. It was hot, humid, and windy, but 12 miles later --- my longest training run was done!

A recap of last week:

• 6 bootcamps & 1 training run (12 miles) - calories: 4881.

Must. Go. Run!

I have no idea what my problem is. Slump? Funk? Stress? Anxiety? Something. I put off my long run yesterday and here it is nearly 12:30pm and I haven't gone out and done it. It's my last long run before tapering and it's only 14 days before the half. Bottom line: I. Must. Go. Run.

I figured throwing it out here in blogland would be the added push that I needed to get my lazy butt going. If you don't see a post that I did the run either later today or tomorrow, please be sure to get on my butt!!!

Aquariums rock!

This past weekend we decided at the last minute to go to the aquarium. We were there when the doors open, so there weren't many people there yet. We had a great time wandering around and trying to find the critters when they were hiding. Cause everyone else is doing it, I took a few pics.

OK, I am going to confess something....sea horses freak me out. I can't figure out why. There were all sorts of them there, but every time I looked closely at them I'd shudder!

Penguins are an all time favorite of mine! A couple were hiding out - just not in the mood for visitors I guess. But Mr. Penguin in the middle was showing off and doing a show of how purty he is. I loved the guy that was lounging on the tree enjoying the sun though.

I could not believe the vivid color on these flamingos! The picture definitely does not do them justice.

Then I saw DORY! And I got all excited. My husband looked at me and said, "uh, who is Dory?". Who is Dory? Really?!? 

Frogs. Lots of frogs, but these were particularly neat. 

Then my FAVORITE! Manatees!!! I don't really know why I like them so much. I think it's their demeanor and how they just do da do along. I laughed when the one came cruising by on his back!

I am feeling tired this week. I think the raging hormones are contributing to this, so I cut back a bit on my workouts. I have my longest training run this weekend---11 miles. I am trying to get my mind in a good place about it. There's a 15K race that I could swap (I think - 9.3 miles), but my concern is that I'm an idiot and I might "race". So, I'm still thinking about what's best...17 days!!!

And it continues!!

I swear it has gotten worse! Here's what I saw when I walked in the door of the grocery store yesterday evening: BAM! Big candy display...stacked with my favorites...la la la - I do NOT see you. (Me and Sam have the eye closing in common!)

Heading toward produce....safe? It should be, right? But, NOPE! BAM! Hoste$s GREEN snowballs and other items - what the hell? This area is supposed to be a SAFE zone people! (Not a fan of the snowballs, but illustrates the madness!)

This aisle, that aisle, end of aisle: BAM! BAM! BAM! C-R-A-P! (aka - chocolate crack as pointed out by FitBy40). And don't forget the nearly TWO foot high CHOCOLATE bunny by the checkout area. Not kidding. I should have taken a picture or bit his bunny ass off!

People, if I could just skip the grocery store until May, I would! ...Anyone a personal grocery shopper???? Sounds like there may multiple opportunities as Island Bandit is feeling the same!

I am starting to suspect that it is fake TOM that is making this so bad. Damn you hormones!!!! .... I'm not hungry. Seriously, because I don't want anything remotely good for me, I just want CRAP!

It will pass, it will pass....*sigh*....and I will quit posting about stupid crap candy too. : ) But first, let me plant an annoying song in your head that I can't get out of mine, you can thank me later...

Oh! Here comes Peter Cottontail

Hoppin down the bunny trail

Hippity Hoppin, Easter's on its way

(Gene Autry - Peter Cottontail)

Mmmmm, Candy!

Close your eyes or skip this post if you don't want to see candy pics!!!

All those "special" displays! Why oh why does the Easter candy have to be in the stores so early??? I can't seem to escape the it even with avoiding the "special" aisles.

I love the Cadbury's eggs with the hard shells and the little Reese's PB eggs. (You guys can keep those Peeps - YUCK! I have yet to figure out why people like them so much.)

I think my best bet is to continue with my tactic of "I don't see you---la la la". The "oh get some and just have a few" approach just does not work with these two items. I've decided that if I still want them when Easter rolls around that I'll have them on Easter. That way they'll be gone from the stores after that!

Hey, is it Easter yet? : )

Last week recap

Man, only 20 days until my half!

Just a short post to recap last week for tracking.

• 4 bootcamps & 1 training run (10.5 miles) - calories: 3523.

Here's to a week of mostly healthy choices!

Worst...Run...Ever!

The day started early with getting my husband's lunch together to leave for a flight. He did some flight planning before he left and told me that there may be rain this morning where we live, so I should check before I left for my run. He left and I finished my coffee, ate a Clif Bar, and started getting ready. Sure enough, I checked the radar and rain was coming through, but would be clear at 11am.

In typical Texas fashion, while the radar looked like what I have, none of the rain actually appeared. *Sigh*

I have bad days just like everyone else. This run was not shaping up well. At this point, the distance runs are mental for me. My body can do it, but at times my mind gets in the way.

I took off on my run and it was going fine. But that changed quickly. I don't know if it was the stress I've been under this week which has impacted my sleep, some hanging on marriage crap, or what. Bottom line - this run sucked.

I looked down and I had only gone 1.5 miles and it seriously felt like 5. Then my mind really kicked in with a bunch of negative crap. Negative crap about a number of things. I just kept going, but at about mile 5ish as I passed a bench, I hit pause on my Garmin and sat down. I sat there for a few minutes having a cry. I just have a bunch of crap going on and I guess this brought it to the surface.

I was going to go home and say screw this training run. But I decided to just walk for a bit and see how it went. I was torn. I wanted to go home, but I also didn't want to give up on this training run (and myself). Did it get better? A bit. I can't say that I enjoyed the run, but I was proud of myself for finishing it. 10.5 miles later I was done. Surprisingly my pace was only off by about 10 minutes.

I guess my title is an exaggeration. It wasn't my run worst ever, it's better characterized as hard. But while hard, I finished it. That's what is important.

Polar vs. Garmin

 

Polar F7

 I seriously love my Polar F7. It's a solid heart rate monitor that is easy to use and has a lot of basic features. When I got it in June '10, I wasn't sure long term what I would need (or if I would even like wearing a device) and didn't want to make a huge investment. I wear it for bootcamp, gym workouts, and treadmills. BUT since I haven't been asked to be a "Polar Ambassador", and my feelings are HURT, I don't wear it for my half training...nah, that's not really the reason, but I do think I'd be an AWESOME Polar Ambassador!

 

Garmin Forerunner 305

The Polar doesn't provide me with distance (GPS), pace, or any type of easy functionality (at least that I can figure out) to get splits. So, I decided to get the Garmin Forerunner 305 for my training runs.

When I opened it, while I had been warned, I was still a bit shocked at how big it was. Thankfully though it actually fits on small wrists and snugly too! I was still intimitated though and it took a few weeks (OK, hubby asking me if I was ever going to use it) to get it charged up and plow through the manual...which turned out to be easy to understand

My running challenge for the half was that my pace SUCKS. Seriously. I have no idea what my pace is and have not figured out how to moderate it. This is fine for a 5K, but for longer distances it's a killer---pace too fast which leads to running outta "gas" later. That's where the Garmin comes in. I have it set for a narrow 1 minute window of pace time and I've been using it for my training runs. The first couple there was a whole lotta beeping going on - GO SLOWER! GO FASTER! etc., but I'm getting better and just as my buddy said I would I am enjoying long runs much more!

Interested in getting a device? Here's some thoughts...

• What features must it have? Figure out what you want it to do before you start looking. For example, I want a device that monitors my heart rate, time, and calories.
• What's your budget? These things can be expensive! I said that I would not spend more than $100. When I got mine, I scored a coupon to a local athletic store that totally helped.
• Do your research. Research devices on the internet. Read manufacturer's sites where you can get a lot of information on features and benefits, but I also read a lot of reviews. I looked at major retailers that have customer comments as well as blogs to see what "real" people had to say.
• What's the return policy? Check out the return policy of where you decide to purchase the device. I always like to have the flexibility to return it if it turns out that I don't like it or it doesn't meet my needs.

Have one of these or another? I'd be interested in what you think or hints/tips you have for either!

Surprising Reaction

Yes, it is another "one day at bootcamp" post, my week is filled with work and bootcamp until the weekend - believe me work isn't worth blogging about, so it's bootcamp. I was talking with this lady whom I have gotten friendly with at camp and she has been trying to lose weight. In my opinion, she has done an awesome job and honestly most women would kill to be her size when she started. She's definitely "fine tuning".

 

Anyway, in talking with her about how hard losing weight is, she looked at me and said, "Hello skinny, like you know what I'm talking about?" It completely stopped me in my tracks. I told her that I have a lot of experience and that I don't want or plan to tell anyone -- so telling you in confidence, but it wasn't that long ago that I was over 100 lbs more than I am currently. Her face was priceless. She asked me if I was kidding (yes, for real), there was just no way, and that I didn't look like I ever had a weight issue let alone 100 lbs. It was a weird experience for me and one I wanted to be sure to write down so I could see it as "proof" that my before is really gone.

And, nope, I didn't tell her about my band. I still choose not to tell anyone except the few that already know. At this point, even those people that do know about it seem to have forgotten---or at least cease to mention it. I think they see what I'm doing, eating, etc. and realize that the band isn't magic whereas in the beginning it may have appeared to them it was.

Well, it's a picture...

I survived the wedding, but there was a LOT of wine involved. Way more than I've had in a long time and boy did I pay for it yesterday...and still feeling ill today! And, in typical fashion, I didn't get a picture of me in my dress. But, I did get a picture after my 10 mile training run. Unfortunately I had to do this run on the treadmill. The distance really wasn't the challenge as much as it was mentally---man, was it boring! There was a little TV on the treadmill, but I couldn't figure out how to plug in my headset and didn't want to stop. So, I just kept the music going and gazed at the soundless screen. Fun, huh?

It took us forever to get home last night. Our flight home was late, but then there were a couple delays. Between the lack of sleep and just not feeling great from the drinking, I didn't make it to camp this morning.

Weekly Round Up

• 5 bootcamps
• 2 runs (10mi/3mi)
• Calories: 4638

Tolerance?

I'm starting to wonder if I'm just a b#%&?& and my expectations are unreasonable. This trip is getting on my last nerve.

We got here and there's no plan. Keep in mind, we travelled much less distance than most. So three quarters travelled all day. We then find out that the hotel that they chose for the guests is one hour from the "festivities" for the night. 

There's some event thing in town and rentals are scarce, but more importantly nobody should be drinking and driving. Keep in my, these are my husband's friends. So I have been trying to go with the flow and keep my mouth shut, but it's nearly impossible at times.

Back and forth about the first night--how we getting there, I don't know, etc. Finally, I was just fed up. I went and figured out transportation for all of us and gave them the time to be in the lobby.

To shorten my rant, we get there under the impression we are doing something. Um, no. Stayed at the house. Time to leave, back to hotel, and yep WE paid for the transportation to the tune of 300(!) bucks. I left him with his friends and went to bed which was perfect because I was irritated.

Next evening, no plan. Seeing a trend? I say to my husband with this many people we need to make reservations. There is no way to simply walk in with such a large party on a Friday night. I suggest some restaurants as we are familiar with the area. Said if we go to X, it's more expensive and he should make everyone aware. Whomever he spoke with wanted to go to this restaurant so my husband made the reservations.

Yep, then "how are we all getting there" starts up again. So yet again I take care of that and get taxis lined up.

On the way to the restaurant I expressed concern that we would end up paying a lot for dinner. He told me they aren't like that and not to worry. Fine. Not saying a word. What I had seen so far and my gut impression of most was not giving me a good feeling. 

While I watched bottles of wine, appetizers, steak and crab being ordered by people I tried to tell myself they would do the "right" thing. Well, I had the most expensive 1/2 spinach salad, baked potato, and iced tea ever (less than $15). To the tune of 70 bucks. So, $140 later dinner is over. I f#$%*&%$ hate that!

Luckily for me, another wife needed to go back to the hotel. I volunteered to go back with her while everyone else went out. Needless to say that was a blessing.

Today as I type this, my husband is now driving a guy an hour one way to pick up his car. My husband said something to the effect that's just what you do or something and how could he say no? (Uh, it's easy. I'll sound it out for you: sorry, we have plans) To which I replied that we have done enough and that I'm feeling taken advantage of. He responded that he should have just come by himself. Nice.

My fingers are now crossed that I can fake my way through the afternoon and the wedding.  Maybe I could use  more tolerance, but not so sure on this one that I don't have a right to feel the way I do.

Maintenance is Personal

As a bandster, I think everyone starts out with this hope and excitement to get going on this journey and motivation is 110%. Many people lose initially (some the entire time - lucky!) without a lot of effort. Then there are others that have to work hard to get every stinking pound off. Regardless of whether it is "easy" or "hard", changes have to be made. You can't (and shouldn't) eat the amount you used to, are encouraged to change your eating habits, and encouraged to exercise.

Along my journey, there were ups and downs. It's life after all, right? But man, those highs are awesome! Losing weight, fitting in clothes, looking better, and oh, the compliments. It's a real head rush. Then I got to goal weight. It was scary as I struggled with the "shoulda's", "can's", "what if's". Should I lose more weight? Is this it? Can I keep this off? What should I do now? What if I go back?

Over time, the compliments lessened. And, for me, the compliments were not so much an ego boost as when I thought about it I realized in hindsight that for me it was more pressure or accountability to those around me that I would NOT fail again. With less of the comments, this crutch wasn't there. I was just Fluffy as I am now. In fact, when I run into people that haven't seen me and I get a reaction now, it takes me by surprise because I have also gotten to where this is "just me".

It was a big adjustment to not freak out. And, rest assured, there were freak outs along the way, but I had to figure maintenance out. Having lived so focused on the scale, my weight, losing, etc. to now find myself "at goal" and that I had made it ---pretty much scared the crap out of me. What was the next step in my journey?

This is an over simplification of maintenance for me, but when I sat down to write this, it's what stuck out for me in the past 3 years of maintaining. So, I'm assuming that means it's the "important stuff". ; )

I looked at a lot of blogs of people that either had or never had weight problems and were now healthy (ate well, strong, physical, etc.). I read and read and looked for things that struck a cord with me. This led me to wanting to be "healthier". Sure, I had the number on the scale and I had smaller clothes, but was I really healthy? (see Skinny Fat post)

I treated myself like a project. Where did I have challenges or "opportunities for improvement"? What did I want? How was I going to get there? Here's what I came up with for me:

Portion size = bandster portions. Food/healthy bloggers - whatever you call them. Have you noticed their portion sizes? Bottom line for me eating the right band size portions had to be done. I had a dilated pouch at one point during my journey and wasn't going back there. Plus, I had also self-diagnosed myself with portion distortion. While there is hardly any fluid in my band, the band is still there and I am a firm believer that pouch can be stretched by eating too much regardless of how much or little fluid is in the band. I just refuse to do it. Period. I eat the amount I'm supposed to and if/when I get hungry again. I just eat more. So, portion control - check.

Eat healthier. People that are healthy eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. Neither my husband or I were eating enough. I now make sure that every meal includes a fruit or veggie as before unless I was in "diet" mode where I was making sure I had x of this and y of that, I was lax in this area.

And sure, I still eat crap. Remember the mini bundt cake? But it's not often and it HAS to be good. Because if it isn't worth the calories, I'm not eating it.

True story - my husband is in the military. He has physicals. This year when they took his cholesterol it was super low (it was good before, but now it's even better). The doc asked him what he's been doing in the past year and my husband said eating what my wife puts in front of me, she packs my lunch, etc. (and I'm sure something about me losing my mind and all that, but that's OK). The doc said to tell me good job and to keep up what I'm doing. THAT made me feel super good!

Exercise. I've exercised throughout my entire journey. But what I wasn't doing was strength training. I don't like going to the gym and using the weight machines. That's where bootcamp came in. Sure, I was scared at first, and boy was I sore! But I knew that if I hung in there that it would pay off and it has.

Find an exercise you enjoy. It's important because consistency is important. If you hate your exercise you aren't going to do it long term. But also remember, when you start something new, it will be hard. Don't think hard = hate. Give a new exercise a chance and ease into it.

Stop the diet mentality / step away from the scale. I am really not a fan of saying that I have stopped dieting, but I can't think of another way to describe it. Because regardless of what you eat, do, etc., you are "on a diet". It's just what is that diet. What I mean by stopping is not looking at things based on calories and can I or should I eat this. I look at the quality of the food and do I want it. Because if I really want to eat coconut M+M's for lunch, I'm better off having them for lunch than having something "healthy" and continuing to think about the stupid candy. And yep, I did do this one lunch and haven't done it since. Not because "I can't" or "shouldn't"....or "won't", but more so (I think) because I have told myself I can and find that I don't want to as a result. (Yes, I am weird that way!)

Also, I stepped away from the scale. I started weighing myself less and less. The number is only one measurement, yet it's one that consumes me from all my baggage. If my clothes are actually getting looser, does it matter that I weigh 2-3 more pounds than I did the week before? For me, the answer is no. This is a work in progress, but I have not weighed myself since December and frankly I can't say I miss it.

I should also say in regard to the scale that I think it's an evolution. I would never have considered not using the scale during the weight loss phase, but did not weigh daily. It's important to have the measurement. In fact, I think it's important to have your weight and your measurements.


Figure out what makes me feel good. What makes me feel good isn't going to necessarily make someone else feel good, but what I figured out is that I need to exercise during the week. It helps me manage a stressful job and just makes me feel good! And honestly, I eat better without even thinking about it on the days I have exercised. Go figure!

I found that having tools such as my Polar and Garmin while they may or may not be accurate on calories, they provide me with a sense of accomplishment to see the calories and time they display. It just works for me.

I figured out what made me feel good by getting into slumps and looking at what had changed recently and why I didn't I feel good. Two things for me surfaced pretty consistently: not eating generally well and not exercising.
 
Continue to assess and re-assess. I check in with myself periodically. It may sound stupid, but I find that if I don't consciously check in that I just keep going on auto pilot and then I project something is wrong some other way. For example, I realized a while back that I wasn't enjoying my bootcamp as much anymore. I was coming back from morning camp grumpy. Unfortunately, I was taking it out on my husband now and then (boo me). I sat myself down and had a talk with myself (funny picture, huh?). I realized that my trainer's style was no longer meeting my needs. So I started looking at other camps in the area and go to that camp as well.

In summary, this is a journey. One that will continue to evolve and I hope only get better! Just like the decision to get a band, all the other phases are also very personal and you have to figure out what works for you. Try not to compare yourself to others, but do try to learn from others or appreciate what they are doing as you might find little nuggets that also work for you!

Holy crap, I almost forgot my blogging! The intent of my blog has been to document my journey , but I had also hoped that it might be helpful to others as I had wanted to find long term successful people in the beginning and couldn't. This many years later my blog may not be specifically "all about the band", but I'd be a freak if at this point day in and day out it was about it, right?! I can't tell you how helpful it has been to be able to go back and look at past posts. I highly recommend blogging about your journey....and please don't blog and then disappear leaving everyone wondering! There are so many blogs I used to follow from over 5 years ago and *poof*.

Threat of Swimsuits Ahead!

Did you shudder? March 20 is the first day of Spring! Which means we are just that much closer to SWIMSUITS! (Uh, yippee?) And for anyone doing something for Spring Break it might mean getting in one sooner than later.

I'm using the first day of Spring for motivation to step it up a notch. I figure what the hell? Might as well pull out all the stops and start Spring off right.

My running training "coach" told me that I could sub in bootcamps for my training runs during the week since there is so much sprinting and running in them. The only deal was that I had to ensure to get my long runs in.

Weekly Recap:

• 7 bootcamps - replaced two training runs with bootcamps
• 9 mile training run
• Calories: 5274 - Do I think this is accurate? Who knows. It's just something that I like to see. I used to also track the time, but calories give me more of an idea of overall exertion.

Coming this week:

• A post with my thoughts on maintenance - I can just feel the excitement!!!

CAUGHT!

What is that? OVO! The other night I went to Cirque du Soleil - Ovo with hubby. I had to take one picture and it was when everyone was coming in and no flash. Yes, I'm rationalizing because pictures are not allowed, but I had to have one for here, right??? So, this is the star of the show---an egg. Sadly, I was caught taking the picture and was chastised for doing so. I bowed my head and said that I was oh so sorry that I thought it would be OK prior to the show as the sign seemed to indicate it was during the performance. OK, I know, ya right. But what was I supposed to say? Well, I need it for my blog post? HA!

When we got close to the arena, I was wondering why they directing us to a parking lot that was away from the arena. Then I saw it, a big huge tent! It was so unexpected that I didn't even think to get a LEGAL picture of it. Idiot.

The show was great and we were really close. I was concerned that I might be pulled up during the audience participation part, but thankfully some other poor girl was the victim chosen.

Wedding Outfit Nightmare Update

"Richard" - I'm not sure who you are since you put your comment under your husband's name, but I have to tell you when I read it I thought, "Wow, a dude took the time to put that?" - LOL - thanks.

I'm taking everybody's advice (and the hint on sales!) to see if I can find something this weekend. Turns out that I looked at what hubby has and....uh, um, no. And yep, I am one of "those wives" that I did give him a clothing makeover. I hated his jeans and a lot of his shirts. Just not the right fit for his body. And, please know that he didn't mind/care and got a ton of compliments from his friends, so it worked out all around. Here's how the wedding clothing review went...

Hubby: Why do I have to show you now?
Fluffy: Because I need to see what you have to make sure it is ready to go. (White lie.)
Hubby: Here are the three suits I have.
Fluffy: These are nice, but "vintage". (Ha ha - pretty good huh? Translation: No way jose. These are outta style. You aren't wearing any of the three.)
Hubby: So you don't like them?
Fluffy: It's not a matter of like really, I think we should just check the sales this weekend and get you a sport coat that you can wear with your work clothes if you ever need to.

Happy weekend!

Wedding @ 4pm???

I have a wedding to go to next weekend in Arizona. It *should* be warm there (the weather has been so whacko, who really knows!). The wedding ceremony is outside a country club at 4pm. And lucky me, nothing on the invite about what to wear. I had hubby ask the best man (his good buddy), but as far as I know there hasn't been a response.

The invitation is quite formal and the reception is at the country club (adults only). I'm assuming there must be some sort of sit down dinner or buffet as well. But I'm struggling. What I have dress wise, while nice, is not appropriate for the time of day. I have one dress that could work, but it's black. The neckline doesn't allow me to add a scarf for some color, so it would be the black dress with some jewelry and heels. I am on the fence about whether or not it's appropriate considering the time of the ceremony.

And normally I would just find something and go with it, but this wedding is a bit different. When I got married, it was me and hubby. That's it. His friends are spread all over the US and I have not met any of them. This IS the big meet and greet. Added bonuses:

1. My hubby was tagged as the one that would never get married and it came as a huge shock to them when he did. Some have even told him they don't really believe that I exist.
2. I'm 5 years older than his friends and even older than the wives.
3. Numerous emails, etc. stating how they are looking forward to meeting me.

Fun, huh? They're curious...I would be too, so I get that. But I keep hearing in my head these valley girl things:

• "OMG, can you believe she's like wearing THAT?"
• "OMG, she's like so OLD!"
• "OMG like he married HER?"

*SIGH*

So I need to be dressed appropriately and comfortably to settle my nerves and manage the stress of it all. Uh, is it over yet? ; )

What do you think of a black dress at a 4pm wedding? What would you wear?

List o' Food

• Chobani Pomegranate Yogurt - 140***
• Beef quesadilla thing - take two tortillas (160). Spray one side of both lightly with olive oil. Place one (oil side down) in a heated skillet. Layer on: two reduced fat provolone cheese (160) and thinly sliced beef lunch meat (70). Put on other tortilla - oil side up. Cook until nice and brown on both sides. Then I took it off and the non-cheese side I took off and added a ton of tomato, some thinly slided red onion, and then some lowfat mayo/horseradish sauce I made (25). --- I ate half and then the other half later. - 450ish?
• Salad - green leafy lettuce shredded, broccoli slaw, tomato, leftover steamed asparagus, cucumber, a few black olives, tablespoon of bleu cheese, and some sugar free balsalmic vinegrette. --- 150ish?
• Banana - 100ish?
• Clif Bar - 240
• Popcorn cheese puffs - 160
• Greek Yogurt - 140

***Pomegranate. I like your flavor and juice, but I do not like that seedy thing inside of you. I know that there is nothing wrong with eating the seedy thing and I don't have any issue with them with my band, but I just don't like you. So, I didn't really like my yogurt and I am holding a grudge! For now, you are persona non grata. Hmmm, not a person...you are fruta non grata!

What'd I eat?

I see a lot of people that track what they eat, etc. For grins and giggles I did that yesterday. If I ate it, I made a little note. When I was in weight loss phase, I tracked and paid way more attention to overall intake. In maintenance, that has changed. I have more thoughts on that after...

List o' food

• Chobani Greek Yogurt with Peaches - 140
• Egg sandwich: 1 slice toast, slice cheddar cheese, 1 egg, lettuce, and lots of tomato - 250ish?
• Hot & Spicy V-8 juice - 30
• Leftover Mexican chicken packet - chicken breast, black beans, corn, rice with sour cream & salsa - 300ish?
• Steak, asparagus & 1/2 baked potato - 175?+30?+100? - 305?
• Gummy Vitamins - 50
• 6 peanuts in shell - 30?
• I drink a lot of hot tea with skim milk - 40?
• Reduced Fat Cheez-its - 130 (this was kinda weird, but I had put some in hubby's lunch because he loves them and then just couldn't get them off my mind!)
• A mini bundt cake - Hey, Valentine's day treat! 9,234,545 cals? And, worth every single one!

Excluding the cake, it was roughly 1300 cals. There would likely would have been 250-300 more cals in there somewhere without it. A mini meal, snack, or a Clif bar if pressed for time. This is a pretty average day.I don't count calories or protein intake, some days I eat more and others probably a bit less. I eat bandster size portions, but I stop eating when I'm full even if it is not the entire portion. If I get hungry later, I eat again. I eat whatever I want, but I do generally try to make healthy choices and make sure that I

am getting in fruits and veggies.

Most importantly: What's life without some really good cake now and then? : )

Awww, Valentine's Day

When I came home from bootcamp this morning, I found this waiting for me:

To me, there's nothing better than a handwritten note! It definitely made my morning and look at the cute little correction for the missing "r". BTW - Unrelated to a run, I did have some tummy issues (crampish) related to fake time of the month. Feeling much better this morning though.

We aren't really exchanging gifts with the holidays and our birthdays not too long ago. We are exchanging cards though, but he wasn't home all weekend and I missed him. I ended up getting him a few things that I would have anyway, but left them in a pile for when he got home last night.

The strings are to a dozen red heart balloons, 6-pack of 60-min IPA beer (treat), coffee, pistachios in single serve packs, trail mix in single serve packs, Reese's Pieces (treat - mmmmm), and yep - that really is a box of copy paper (hey, he really wanted some!).

Tonight I'm making ribeyes that I put on some coffee rub (sounds weird? seriously good!), steamed asparagus, and a baked potato. We had talked about going out to eat for a fancy meal, but decided that not too long ago we had his birthday dinner. It was good, but it was expensive and full of calories. Strangely enough, we tend to love our home cooked meals just as much!

Wishing everyone a happy Valentine's day!

Success!

Glad to know I'm not the only whiner out there! ;) I did knock out my training run. It was a super beautiful day and, as usual, once I got going it went well. Bullets from the run:

• My tummy held out. There's definitely something in my diet during the day that is whacking it out when I run in the evenings.
• My socks are still a bit of an issue.
• It was a challenging run! A lot of elevation, but I am focusing on it will make me more prepared for the race.
• I still have room for improvement on "pace not race".
• New music makes a big difference!

Wrap up from last week:

• 5 bootcamps
• 2 of 3 training runs (3 mile didn't happen, 6 mile & 8 mile completed!)
• 4248 calories