11 Years!!

Another year! I'm still over running and only do it as part of my workouts and I haven't done anything about my port! At this point my surgeon has retired (shocking), but I can't even remember the last time I went in. I don't recommend this at all, but for me my band is empty and just there. Unless I start showing some adverse symptoms like chronic heartburn, etc. there just doesn't seem to be a need. I continue to workout 5 times a week religiously. I just treat it like a job and something that has to be done. It's not always easy to do and there are plenty of days I don't want to, but I suck it up. I continue not to weigh frequently. It just doesn't work for me and I easily get obsessed. I get dunked a couple times a year and have stayed between 15-18 percent body fat and go by my clothes. At this point I'm pretty in tune with my body and can tell when I'm getting "fluffy". When I feel that way, I clean up my diet. I do track what I eat to ensure that I'm eating enough and my macros are good. It definitely keeps me on track. Guess that's about it for another year! Take care.

10 years!!!

Looks like a year ago I was talking about going in to see what can be done about my port, that didn't happen. I guess I just got over it. I also got over running. :) I wasn't enjoying it anymore. So why continue doing something that I didn't enjoy, right?  In a nutshell, other than sidelining running, no real change from last year, but that's good news and I'll take it.

Nine Years!

Ironically I was watching the most recent episode of Bigge$t L0ser and it turns out the football player had the band and I thought wait a second it's nine years TODAY for me. The player said it was one of the worst things he could have done because it didn't work and for him it was all about his mental state. B0b followed that up by saying that the band doesn't work in the long run because it doesn't address where the weight came from and you can't put a band on your brain.

While I don't think the band is the worst thing I have done, for me, this perspective is completely true. It wasn't the band that led to my long-term success, it was working on my own personal issues through counseling, etc. that I believe is the true foundation. And sure, I lost weight with the band, but I didn't achieve what I call my real results until I started working on me.

I think probably the most shocking thing for people to know about my journey at this point is I am eating more food on a daily basis then I ever had. My target calorie level on workout days is 2000! And, part of the goal is to ensure that I get all my calories in for the day within a targeted macro breakdown. Macros can roll people's eyes into the back of their head, but turns out that my diet with a few minor tweaks was naturally hitting the macros, but not high enough in calories. Imagine the shock of being told to eat MORE calories! I saw some pretty shocking results with these changes. My body fat dropped from 19 to 15 - measured in a dunk tank (hydro static). Pretty amazing stuff!

What bugs me - and quite often - is my port. It's visible and I think it looks like a tumor - so I'm self conscious about it. I can't remember how many years it's been at this point since I've had any fluid in my band, but it's been a lot. Lately I've been thinking more and more about having the port removed and might consider having the band removed entirely. I think having the port removed would be pretty minor, so we'll see....Until next year!

Testing? Testing? Is this thing on?

Just a quick check in. I continue not to weigh on a scale, but I think I am the fittest I've been since I was in college. For grins, I might get my body fat tested before my official 9 year milestone to see where it is now vs. 2012. Plus I think knowing my R.M.R is important. It allows me to ensure that I am eating enough to maintain lean body mass. Somewhere I posted about being skinny fat and this is related to that. In a nutshell - lean body mass = good (needs and eats calories) and fat = bad.

Anyway, in case there's anyone following, wondering, or should anyone stumble across this blog that is somewhere in their journey or struggling, I wanted to confirm that after 9 years, I continue to maintain. You really can do it! YOU, not just me. Yes, it's hard and yes, it takes effort, because there is no magic pill. Believe and make it happen.

I'll post more details in November and if anyone is wondering anything, please let me know.

In the meantime, be well and try out what I've been using as a mantra lately:

• Wake up and be awesome!
• Smile. Choose to be happy!
• When it seems like nothing goes right, go left!

Eight years...

I used my fingers and getting close to needing my toes to confirm it has been eight years! My math is right, huh? The demise of g reader really took the wind out of my sails blogging wise when I lost links to the blogs I followed and maybe it was really the remainder of the wind as I sure wasn't posting often!

I've continued from where I left off last year and the post from last November has detailed information should anyone be interested. 

But what has changed? I guess me emotionally. I'm more settled and comfortable in this version of me. I workout often, but I also skip at times just 'cause. I completed four half marathons this year and my cheerleader husband is pushing me to run a full. Who knows, never say never. 

I will continue to check in at least every November. I hope this post finds people where they wanted to be and for anyone just starting out to know that you can get there. (Really you can!) Be well.

Motivated?

Someone said to me the other day at camp, "you are just so motivated." I've been thinking about it in the back of my mind ever since. It just bugged me. Not in a bad way, just in a why the heck doesn't that sound right to me way.

I'm not motivated. I think I was when I started this journey. I was extremely motivated to lose weight and make necessary changes to keep it off. That motivation kept me focused on making good choices, exercising, and working on the mental me. But now, I'm not motivated. I am committed though.

I'm committed to exercising because I should and I can. Most days I'm not motivated at all and I'd rather sleep in. I just suck it up and go.

I'm committed to making good food choices most of the time. Frequently I don't want to and continue to fight the inner fluffy me that wants, and oh so loves, crap food. But I'm committed to staying off the slippery slope.

So, I'm committed, but not so motivated...I think that's alright though.

2013 1st Quarter (non) Results

I used to track my food and my weight and dumped both of those at some point along my journey. Now after two years of tracking my wellness goals I'm ditching tracking that too.

I haven't fallen off the wagon or gained weight (well my clothes fit fine). It's just part of my journey. It's been approximately 7.5 years and I'm trying to continue to progress. My goals: not obsessing about my weight, what I'm eating, or how much I'm moving. I don't think anyone's journey is the same, goals are different, and it takes a lot of hard work to figure out what works along the way and for me, to recognize when something is no longer working and change it.

Tracking was becoming a P.I.T.A, something I was forgetting to do, and much like food tracking and definitely the scale it was adding stress. Who doesn't have enough stress that is out of your direct control that adding to it yourself is just a little crazy? :)

Since the year started, I've been at boot camp a minimum of 5 times a week, I've gone for a run when I felt like it, completed some races with friends because they were doing them, and finished a half marathon. So, in reflection, I'm pretty much tracking to my goals, just not tracking them. This is working for me now, so I'm going to keep working it. I doubt I'll post much, but I will plan to post something every quarter.