Don't waaaannnaaaa!

Feeling like I have a case of the terrible two's. Although my mommy friends have said two is nothing, it's three that's horrible. Regardless, I am in my running gear thinking, "I don't wanna and you can't make me." And, nobody can, but me. But I don't waaaannnaaaa.

My husband said to me last night if I hate the training so much, then this should be the only one (half) I do. But blog truth (kinda like pink swear), it's fear. Stupid stuff like will the route I choose be too hard, will my stomach hang in there, should I take water, will my stupid sock issue surface...can I do it?

Some of these things may come up, but so what, right? I'm not 2, I'll deal with it when/if it comes up. I can do it. I just need to get out there and get it over with. (Hey, I never said I am perfect!)

So, I will give my breakfast a bit more time to digest, put on my shoes, and suck it up and head out. I can do this. What about you? What will or are you doing that's taking you out of your comfort zone to get you to the next level---exercise or something else?

(BTW, I told hubby that I don't hate the training, I just need to whine out my fear and he gets to be the lucky one to hear it!)

Gym Gripe

I am not a treadmill fan for more that a quick 3-mile knock it out sort of run, but I am a klutz. The ice has not fully melted and I didn't want to risk running outside and getting injured. I have been doing my last few runs at the gym. I'm not a gym snob or whatever is the description, but there are some things that drive me NUTSO.

When I encounter them, I do what I can to block it out, move, or whatever. Well, the last time, it didn't matter what I did, it still bugged me. So I figured I'd go at a different time yesterday. O-M-G, he was there. GRRRRRR

So what's the deal? He's like a heard of elephants. Even if I'm on the far end away from him, he's so loud that I can still hear him. Impossible? NOPE. I had meant to take a picture of the sticker on the treadmills, but it essentially says on the console: "Hey, idiot DO NOT hold on to me" --- OK, maybe not quite that, but you get the idea. And why? Cause if you are holding on to this part of the treadmill, not only is it bad for it, but most likely you are like this dude and you are holding on for dear life because you have the treadmill going TOO FAST! So he is POUNDING on the platform to try and keep up. GOOD GRIEF, I cannot tell you how much I wanted to go over there and just slow his treadmill down.

And, please do NOT read this as me trying to get in his business or show him "how's it's done". I really did think it was me, but last night I overheard two ladies next to me say essentially the same thing. Man, he's loud. The other one replied with, ya he needs to slow down. And just saying that to make me feel better, but GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

OK - end of rant. : o)

Anyone else have any gym pet peeves? Please share to help me feel like less of a B)(*#$)#($*%!!!!!

The results are in...

So I had my body fat percentage taken at the gym. I asked for the most experienced guy and asked him about his error rate. Turns out he's a former body builder (and looks it too) so he's pretty adept as he used to measure his own. Anyway, he said that if he's off, it's 1% max and that he measures multiple times and stuff like that. Honestly, once I heard he was +/- 1% I was good. So the pinching began and he said he could tell I was lean---flatterer! Well he said, I'm 19%! He asked about my exercise and eating and said he wouldn't be surprised if it went lower.

I checked here to get some "recommended" fat info for women:

• The recommended amount of body fat is 20 - 21%.
• The average American woman has approximately 22 - 25% body fat.
• A woman with more than 30% body fat is considered obese.

I'll take it!

And a little more on the gummy yummy vitamins---yes, I'm cheating...Justaflower - exactly -  it's the chalk taste! Nella - Sam's and Fitby40 (hi!) says they are at Walmart. Something about Kellie - Maybe online? Tracy - I'm surprised having vitamins before bed hasn't given you heartburn! But at my age, it's getting to where a lot of things do (*sigh* margaritas!). Thanks for reading and commenting!

Mmmm, gummy bears...

My general doc said to me last year (or longer), you should consider adding a daily multi-vitamin, it can't hurt. I did ask if it wouldn't hurt, would it help because I HATE pills of any sort. Always have and always will - even pre-band. She said that she thought I could get benefit from it and whatever I didn't need my body would flush out. (Doc translation to normal person speak: You're getting old. Take a multi-vitamin. *sigh*)

I did think about it various times. Thought about chewables, but when I asked about the yummy kid kind she said she preferred me taking an adult one intended for woman. Grrrrrr. She said there are multiple liquid ones out there. Uh, have you tried those? They make me want to barf. And yes, I am a whiner, but reality is if I can't stand it or it's going to make me feel like I'm going to barf, I'm going to take it all of 3-5 times max.

The other week I was at Sam's and what did I spy? Gummy vitamins---bear shaped vitamin yumminess for kids. But wait! There next to them FOR ADULTS. Well, what made these different then other ones? Let's just say they are D-LISH!!!!!

And while some people may be deterred by the 50 cals per daily pack, not me. I have faithfully eaten my pack every day and it even gives me a candy fix as an added bonus, which works for me somehow. I might not be the best barometer for these in regard to the band since I don't have much if any fluid in my band (.2 whenever the heck I was last in), but I have zero problems with them.

All hail the gummy bear vitamin!

Skinny Fat

My journey has evolved over time. Making the decision to get banded, weight loss, maintenance, to focusing on improving my overall health and strength. After hitting my first weight goal, I switched to focusing more on health---not only the number on the scale. When I got the band I wanted to be thin again, but I also wanted to be strong and healthy.

Most of us, including myself, are a bit obsessed with being thin. But the body is a funny thing. You can look thin, but still be fat even though your BMI is within the healthy range for your weight and height. It's one of the weaknesses of both the scale and BMI---there is no body composition component. So while I have always believed exercise was critical and was doing a decent amount, I started wondering am I skinny fat? Did I have a high body fat percentage to my lean body mass? Had I lost lean body mass along the way vs. maintaining or ideally increasing it?

I don't know where I started body fat wise, but I know I was fat both scale wise and plain ol' fat wise when I started out (just look at that pic!). Unfortunately, I never got my body fat percentage taken along the way either. I've mentioned in the past year that while I have lost a few pounds, I have seen more changes in body shape / size since I made the shift to focusing on strength/health. I'm also definitely much stronger. So, I've decided to get my body fat percentage taken this week.

In the meantine, I thought I'd look at my own comparison from my final goal weight of 138-142 lbs.

• I could jog five miles in under an hour.
• I could finish a 5K in about 30 mins.
• I could run a mile in about 9:30 mins comfortably.
• I was wearing a size 6.
• My arms were squishy---no real definition. My legs were better from the running.
• I could not do a full man push up.
• I was scale dependent. I weighed in once a week and, if I am completely honest, it either made me feel good or bad about myself.
• I think I was at least a bit skinny fat. I looked thin, but not lean.

At my current weight range 132-136lbs:

• I can jog five miles in under 45 mins and still have plenty of gas left in the tank.
• I can finish a 5K in about 28 mins.
• I can run a mile in about 8:30 mins comfortably.
• I am wearing a size 4 (solid designer 4 - in other brands I wear a 2 or 3 juniors)
• My arms and legs are solid with definition.
• I can do at least 10 full man push ups (I haven't tried to do more than that in a row, but have done multiple sets of 10!)
• I am not scale dependent. I have not weighed since before Christmas. My clothes were a bit tight right after the start of the new year, but are no longer tight. Last time I weighed 129lbs. I'll weigh again eventually, but not sure when.
• I believe I am no longer skinny fat.

I see plenty of women that are not what is commonly defined as "thin" in camp, at races, the gym, but damn are they fit! And, I am a firm believer that they will outlive those women that have a small number on the scale, but aren't fit. So my point is that it's more than a number on a scale---a low number does not automatically equate to healthy. How fit are you? What are your fitness goals? Are your goals more than a number on the scale? And most importantly, do you believe? (Wish is a 4-letter word!)

Super Bowl Sunday

**Ice, snow, maybe a frozen pipe here or there, it isn't that bad when put it in the context of the torrential rains hitting Australia. As a child, I lived in a flood zone. Other than fire, I don't think there is anything as destructive. I hope the rains stop soon.**

How did you start off Super Bowl Sunday? We went and fed the ducks and geese. There were lots of them and we even saw some goose butts? geese butts? goose butt?

Then my hubby made a friend. Um, no we can't take the goose home. They're kinda mean and poop a lot!

The weather disrupted my training schedule. I'll be honest though, I could have done some home workouts, but didn't. So, 1 bootcamp and 2 training runs.

• Bad news: Missed 4 bootcamps and 1 training run
• Good news: The missed training run was a short one (3 miles) and I still got in my long run (7 miles).
• Calories burned: 1992

Deja SNOW?

Have you heard the slogan everything's bigger in Texas? Well, I guess that also applies to the weather. The forecast was for a "dusting" of snow. Well, 6-7 inches later the "dusting" has stopped, but another inch is expected. Good grief! Originally we were supposed to be out of this by today, but another front developed. I can't remember a streak of below freezing days (teens actually) in the entire time I've lived here. They are saying it will get above freezing tomorrow at 11am.

There is no way to drive on the residential roads by my house and the highways are a mess. All the snow is on them because nothing melted (and don't forget the ice from a couples days ago that wasn't cleared). So, I'm pretty much housebound again today. There's just not the equipment to deal with snow here and the last thing to be dealt with are the side streets. Ironically, before this storm hit I actually went to the store. Normally I just figure there's no way it's going to be that bad. I'm glad I didn't this time.

It sucks big time for the SuperBowl though. Flights have been cancelled all over the place and there were and continue to be huge events planned throughout the metroplex, but I'm not sure how people will get there. Definitely not what people expected for a SuperBowl here.

Oh, and did I forget to tell you that we had rolling blackouts the other day? Fun, huh?!

Oh look, it's snowing again! *sigh*

Slow Cooker Chicken Posole-ish Recipe

When it's cold, I like to make soups. Heck, I like to make them cause they are simple and nutritious. That's even kicked up a notch when I can make it in my slow cooker. Here's one I whipped up after reading various Posole recipes and making it easier and healthier. The amounts are approximate.

• 1 rotisserie chicken (you can substitute canned chicken, but I find it salty and kinda tough. I buy a rotisserie chicken that doesn't have hormones, etc. and take all the chicken off and chop it up)
• 1 can R0tel (the tomatoes with chilies) - I use hot, but it makes it really spicy, so you might want to stick with regular.
• 2-3 cans chicken broth
• 1 tablespoon garlic
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin
• A half bag of frozen chopped onion, pepper, and celery mix (uh, yep I'm lazy)
• A bag of frozen mixed veggies
• 1 can hominy (don't drain---white or yellow whichever you prefer)

Put it all in your slow cooker. Depending on how quickly you need it and either cook it on low or high. Since the chicken is already cooked, you are really just trying to get everything hot and the flavors mixed together. Enjoy!

Thanks for all the supportive comments on the half. I'm falling a bit behind on my training with this whack-o weather, but I'm not stressing about it. I'll pick it back up when I can.

Lap Band Gal asked that I do a post on maintenance. I'll try to do one in the coming weeks after I get my thoughts together. I have made a few brief references to it in some posts in the meantime: Five Years Out , My Most Important Rules , WOOT , Maintaining

GULP!

It's Ice Day 2 here. Most companies are closed for a 2nd day - including mine. Oh, but the fun has increased, now we are in rolling brown outs of 10-45 mins! I have yet to experience one, but friends are getting them and they are lasting more like an hour. The temp is in the teens and with the wind chill is sub zero. They aren't expecting it to get above freezing until Friday. And yep, this isn't "bad" for a lot of people, but for Texas this is very extreme weather.

Unfortunately this has also meant that bootcamp was cancelled yesterday and today. I'm thinking it's possible that it might be for the rest of the week. I have a bootcamp and a run in for the week, but I better consider a video or something.

What better way to spend my time, then to suck it up and register for the half in March????

GULP!!!!!

Rat Boots

I looooovvveeeee shoes. Right now boots are on clearance. Well, who am I to pass up a bargain??? So, I got myself a new pair of boots. Now that my legs are thinner, I'm really liking the tall boots. Plus this skinny jean trend works out well too.

Even if this fashion trend changes next year, I figure these boots will look cute with a skirt. I am more curious about where the trend on jeans is going? I am not a fan of jeggings. I wasn't ever a fan of leggings the first time around when they were all the rage and I think it might be carry over. Eh, I'm sure there are plenty of people that love them.

It's always good to find more purposes for shoes though. It makes it much easier to rationalize to hubby that there is just no way that I have enough.

A friend of mine has put live traps in her garage (yah, I'm not sure either - I said to her that I thought she was actually encouraging them to come in). Anyway, there was a rat in the trap and she was freaking out because she was going to have to deal with it because her hubby is out of town all week.

So off I went in my "rat boots". And just cause EVERYONE loves a picture of a rat, here ya go:

S/he was actually pretty cute. OK, maybe I'm sick, but I can take dealing with a live one any day over a dead one. And hell, she's lucky to have me as a friend, right? Loaded the cage in the car and off we went. The hardest part was figuring out how to get the cage to open and I wish I had a pic of his release, but here's a pic of his new home:

Go rat go!

Success!

The birthday was a success! We went out to a fancy restaurant and hubby had half a cow (that's the pic with the two round, extremely healthy, butter discs on it). I ordered a filet which for some reason I neglected taking a picture of, but yet I got a picture of all the booze - go figure. We also had caesar salad, which I would have preferred that they cut up for me, and some lobster macaroni and cheese. For dessert, we ordered some handmade truffles which were also just OK.

So, restaurant wise, I thought the food was OK. We definitely thought that it was an "experience" meal, but not a place we plan on going to again because we felt it was too expensive for the quality of what we had. It just didn't live up to my expectations, BUT we had a great time. We had an intimate booth and just enjoyed the time together. It was romantic and just loads of fun. So that made it all worth it.

Last week was definitely a week of food, food, and more food. Between the meetings I had for work which are always foodfests and the birthday celebration, I definitely ate more than a normal week. But when I look back at what I chose to eat, I really didn't do too poorly overall. Unlike the birthday meal where everything was very decadent, I made better choices the rest of time. Overall, I am very happy with how I navigated through it and that I just didn't eat everything in sight (there was plenty of oh so band friendly high calorie slider food!).

Unfortunately bootcamp was cancelled a couple days last week and I had a bad run on Wednesday. My tummy was NOT happy. I had to come home. I know what it was though - just too much food that I am just not used to eating. Not volume per se as I tried to keep to bandster portions, but in richness.

I still have not weighed this year. I thought about it last week and decided that it was crazy. Eating high sodium, etc. - why am I going to weigh in and freak out? Which for me leads to a lot of stress and other crap. I put on my dress slacks and they fit fine - so forget it. Plus I wore a tight skirt with a form fitting sleevelss top on Friday. When my hubby saw me, he looked at me and said, "you look hot". What more does a girl really need than that?!

Last Week's Plan

Monday – BC / 3 miles (3)
Tuesday – BC
Wednesday – BC / 4 miles (2.33 major tummy issues! Had to cut it short)
Thursday – BC was cancelled : (
Friday – BC was cancelled : (
Saturday - 6 miles (6)
Sunday – OFF

Calories: 2762...The () is actual mileage.

Wrong bag

It's my hubby's birthday this weekend. He has been away all week. A week or so ago, I went and bought a bag that I knew he wouldn't like and then asked questions about traveling bags. I knew he'd want one with wheels, which this one didn't have, so I let out a big sigh and said to him that I better show him what I bought so I can go ahead and return it. I showed it to him and no surprise, it wasn't what he wanted. I returned it that same day. He told me not to worry about getting him anything for his birthday, that it was just Christmas, he doesn't need anything, etc.

Well, little did he know, but I was messing with him! I've had his gift for a while. I'm excited to give it to him and since he's been traveling this week he'll be coming home to a few other surprises. He's been mentioning a particular restaurant for a few months and I kept just pushing it off...because that's where we're going to dinner tomorrow night. Tee hee.

Now, if I can just figure out what to wear...

That's it???

I was thinking that some might stumble across detail of my plan and think that I'm not running enough to train for a half. Why? Cause I looked at it initially and I said, "This is all I have to run????" "Am I going to be able to do it with this little (and not die)?" I did get my plan from a runner. She's run over 4 marathons (not sure how many) and too many halfs to even count.

I am by no means qualified to make up a running plan, there are many available on line, but if you look at them they are pretty much all running. I have bootcamp 5 days a week---it's too intense to do it and a running plan like what can be found.

So here's what she told me: A good plan is made up of some speed training, strength training, runs, and long runs. I go to bootcamp 5 days a week. The camp provides the speed and strength training (and explains why my mile, 5K, etc. speed has improved). Then I have two runs a week and a long run on the weekend. She considers me to have a quality base at this point.

My goal is to finish and finish comfortably---no records here. I don't want to hate this half. I just want to do it and check the box as part of my overall banded journey.

All this being said, if I don't get enough quality sleep, the thought of an evening run is torture. My plan is really run Mon, Wed, and Sat. The good news is there's some flexibility in this plan. I need to get the 3 runs in. She doesn't want me doing them in a row, but I can move them around as needed.

Let's take today as an example, I had commitments that meant that I was getting a maximum of 5 hours of sleep Mon and Tues night. This morning it was hard to get up and go to bootcamp. Really hard. I wanted to just stay in bed, but I got up and went. But this afternoon, the 4 mile planned run - it just was not happening. I was exhausted and I was going to hate every minute of it. Thankfully, I'll get a full night's sleep tonight. So I moved this run to tomorrow.

Wanna run a 5K, 10K, 15K, half, or full marathon? With a good plan, you can do it! Scared? Guess what, I personally think that's totally normal! Don't have a runner friend? Concerned about an online plan? Look to see if there's a running store in your area. If so, drop by and see what you can find out. You might find out that there is some free "social" runs to participate in or a training class that you can join and then have a coach to help you get to your goals.

You never know, you might find yourself turning into F0rrest Gump, remember this?

That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd just run across Greenbow County. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I'd just run across the great state of Alabama. And that's what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going.

Wish is a Four Letter Word

I was cooling down from my long training run on Saturday when this lady I had passed previously said to me, "I wish I had your energy." Even after all this time, I get taken off guard and am not quite sure what to say. I ended up saying something like, I've been working at it for some time. She said in return that she'd like to get there. I said to her that you honestly can get there and we chatted about how.

• Showing up is 51% of the battle. I think it's more than half the battle to get to your workout. I think of all the reasons (excuses) why I can't (don't want to workout) and I can come up with plenty! Think about it, who really drags themself to a workout, gets there, and then turns around and goes home????
• Have the right equipment for your activity of choice. For example, walking really isn't "just walking". Longer distances, faster pace, etc. really does require good shoes. Shoes with the right fit and right support for you. Make sure the rest of your clothes are comfortable and you are dressing for the weather in layers.One other thing I didn't share, but I think is important. - protect "the girls"! Get a good sports bra.
• Don't overdo it. No one is going to get out there the first day and run a long distance. If you do, you will hate it and you will feel sore as crap. Consider trying a program such as c to 5K. Personally, I started with time. I said I will walk X amount of time regardless of the distance covered and went from there.
• Consistency is key. All the other pointers contribute to consistency. If you show up, are comfortable, and don't overdo it (so you don't hate it), you will be consistent. Does that mean everyday? Nope. It doesn't even mean 6 days a week or even 5. Figure out what is realistic and do it. (I suggest starting out with 3 days a week increasing to 5 days over time).
• Change "I wish" to "I can". Wish is a four letter word. I believe that unless there is something that physically prevents a person from achieving a weightloss or fitness goal that it's possible. You just have to want it, do the work, and believe (I can do it!) . Hell, I am trying to take my own advice on this one in regard to the half marathon! If I don't think I can do it, I guarantee that I won't be able to!

That made me think of something else, I read frequently on blogs "I hate exercise". Honestly, I don't think people "hate exercise", I think they hate what they are doing or possibly it's one of the other things I've talked about that's contributing to these feelings.

If you find yourself hating the activity, try another one! Keep on trying different ones until you find one you like. Oh, and one other thing, please consider hanging in there for a while on whatever you choose. Anything that is "new" or "hard" is going to take a bit of time (Are you thinking: "I can't do this?" If so, knock it off!!!!). Give whatever you choose a couple weeks and you might surprise yourself and find yourself thinking "I kinda like this!" "I can do this!" or some other thought that may take you off guard....off guard in a good way!

And on a band note, it's a tool, a piece of equipment, but the rest of it is up to you. If you think about it, these items can be skewed a bit and apply. Believing in yourself, consistency, etc.

Thanks for the chat to the lady on the trail and I hope to see you out there again!


Last Week's Plan

• Monday – OFF (Holiday & I enjoyed it!)
• Tuesday – BC / 3 miles (3.4)
• Wednesday – BC
• Thursday – BC / 4 miles (4)
• Friday – BC
• Saturday - 5 miles(5.25)
• Sunday – OFF

Calories: 4110...The () is actual mileage

My Office Mate

For the most part, I am lucky that I work from home - no commute, no makeup, reduces clothing budget, more productive, and many other things! Anyway, sometimes that means I start work at butt-crack-thirty and at times I'll plan in one room before I go to my office. My office mate was very active today and she was very very busy. I had to take some pictures.

Hey, let me help you with that. You aren't doing it right!

Oh, let me get a better look at that. What do you mean you can't type?

BREAK TIME!

Back to work!

BREAK TIME! (Notice now in a different position)

You need a lot of supervision! I have my eye on you!

Safety first! Security patrol.

I'm not sure what my office mate was up to after this point, but I am sure she was very busy the rest of the day!

Yesterday's training run was C-O-L-D! The temperature was 29, which is not bad for most areas in January, but it was the wind that was the killer! It was something ridiculous like 11 with the windchill. But I told myself you HAVE to get this run in. There are only 3 training runs a week and no way to move this run because I also have to have a day of rest. Bright sides: it was dry, I have warm clothes, and I did it. And, as usual, I was glad I did it...after it was over!

I tried to view my training schedule on my last post and realized it's super hard to read. I'm going to have to work on an alternate way of recording it so I can go back and check it out.

My New BFF

I had heard people say how great foam rollers are, including the a$$kicker at bootcamp, but figured my stretches were good enough. Some days I am sore, but not miserable sore, just I've worked out sore. Yesterday I got an instant cash coupon in the mail for 15 bucks to a local athletic store and figured I could make a 10 buck investment to find out what was sooooo great about this foam thing. My hubby went with me and said, "I bet we can get that same thing at H0me Dep0t for 5 bucks" (funny guy, huh?). So, while watching tv last night I just rolled away. I even got hubby to try it out. Well, this morning after 8 billion swings and my training run yesterday, not a lick of soreness. My foam roller is my new bff. Got foam roller?

Sucking it Up!

I honestly have started the year feeling a bit blah. I can't quite put my finger on why. Weather? Job? I have no idea. I've hit the point that I just don't care to try and figure it out anymore and am just moving on to "sucking it up".

I turned down the new job. That position is setup to fail. It was a very difficult decision as passing up on any role can have a negative impact on your career progression. I explained what I thought were the challenges of the role and how I thought they could be addressed and thanked them for the opportunity. Don't you worry though, I still mentioned in all of that I was looking for a promotion! ; ) I won't be holding my breath though, I am honestly very very thankful to have a job I mostly enjoy and work for someone that respects me and my work.

I have not been reading blogs either! Good grief!

So, in the whole sucking it up theme, I am posting my training plan. I might have to modify it now and then because of things going on, but I still need to get the mileage in for the week. I need to see if I can force my own hand and sign up for the race. In the meantime, to help with my accountability, I am going to go ahead and post my plan with strikethroughs/changes as the weeks go on. Wish me luck!...or just kick me in the butt now and then if you don't see anything.

My favorite number: 11

11 has always been my favorite number. It was always the number I had in the sports I played and I HAD to have that number. Today is a really cool day, but not only cause it is 1-1-11 (oh, and yes, 11:11 on the clock is also my favorite)...I had said that I was going to say something about my job, well I started that conversation and it seems that I might have a new job...go figure.

I'm honestly in shock more than anything - and not in a bad way. You know how you have those talks now and then in your head and you plan it all out cause you are sure if you don't you are going to massively screw it up? Yep, I spent an entire day of conversations of how it could go with me raising the concerns that I head. I barely got started and this was never one of the scenarios. Anyway, I'm one of those put it in writing people, so who knows.

I have a training plan. A training plan for a half marathon, SIGH. I AM GOING TO SUCK IT UP AND DO IT! I want to talk to my "coach" before I sign up as I am considering a pace team and want to get her thoughts on it. I plan to knock that out tomorrow. Then I am going to bite the bullet. And ya know what is stupid? I have done one before. It was one of those things - "I am going to do a marathon by the time I'm 30" deals for me. I hated the half and decided I never needed to do a marathon unless I was in a car.

My goal is to finish the half. No time requirements, nothing. My friend is convinced this is where I went wrong. I was set on a time and come hell or high water I was going to do it. As a result, I was gutting it out and I HATED it. So, that's right. No completion TIME, just to finish. Stay tuned and please plan on beating the hell out of me if I do not get a half marathon in, because I will NOT have a valid excuse. (This is another reason I am putting this all out here today. I won't have to think very hard about where this post is when I need to give myself a kick in the ass. So for future reading: QUIT MAKING EXCUSES AND JUST DO IT!)

Crap!

So, I did my 5K on Saturday. My goal was to enjoy the 5K. I just went with the flow and finished in under 28 mins. WOW, was I shocked! Honestly, I wasn't pushing it. When I got close and saw what my finish time could be I was shocked. My fitness has seriously gone through the roof from bootcamp.

The crap? Uh, I "misplaced" (lost!) my transmitter for my Polar. It's the thingy that snaps on to the strap and works with the watch to give the heart rate. OOOOPPPS! I have continued to look high and low for it, but I think it could be gone. That little sucker costs half of what a new Polar costs! I am pissed at myself. I am going to wait a week or so and see if I can find it. I am guessing that my hubby will suggest me wearing my Garmin instead. Which is fine for a run, but not for bootcamp. It's just too dang big. *sigh* (Oh, and if anyone has seen my transmitter - or has a spare that they want to give me (ha) - please email me!)

And as a grand finale...SNOW in Texas. Pictures to prove it!!!

And it continues...

Nope, I did not win MegaMillion$, but two lucky people shared the big prize. I remain behind and have started the new year with a bad attitude about my job. I am going to have to figure out how to navigate through it stat! Otherwise, I am concerned it could get worse and go into other areas (more important areas too!) in my life. I have a meeting on Monday with my boss and plan to have my areas of concern PC'd by then. Ah well, can't think about it too much, cause honestly it's just not worth it. It will work out and I need to remember to focus on the things that I can change.

Anyway, bootcamp was good last week, but my Polar was acting up. It just kept dropping the heart rate. I actually broke down and READ the manual and am trying all the things that it says. I am thinking that my rinsing of the band may not have been enough to clean it after 7-8 months. Not sure.

Embarrassing, but true, the decorations are almost down, but one room remains. It will be finished this weekend, but then the cleaning starts to try and get up all the damn glitter. Hubby was nice about that though and said why don't we just have someone come in and clean the house to take care of it so you don't have to. So, unless I am feeling it, I might just do that.

I am still feeling a bit fluffy in some of my clothes, but figure I'll remain away from the scale. I'm just back in maintenance mode - generally eating well and exercising. Band wise - it's just there. For me, this far out, I will just remain where I am - which was years ago at this point when there was .2 (does that even count?) - that I last knew how much fluid is in there. I will continue what I have been which is I eat band portions, but when I'm hungry, I'll just eat more.

I'm trying to think of things that I'd want to ask/know reading this (please leave things in the comments if you do want to ask something!) and come up with - well, aren't you on a diet then? And, my answer is no. Band or no band, you have to make choices. I think it's one of the things that people learn on this journey. If I had eaten crap the majority of the time, then I know I would not have gotten to where I am now (which even surpassed my original expectations - blew them away really!).

Over the years, the band has helped me develop a different relationship with food. For me, this was the key. I also rediscovered activities that I used to love and new ones that have led to a very active lifestyle. So, while I have a band, bottom line what is also there is generally good food choices and moving. Funny how that sounds exactly like someone without a band, huh? And, I also am a firm believer that this was not an easy way out. It was a ton of work mentally and physically. Ooooo, getting on a soapbox, please if you want to know something though, please ask and don't be shy. I can remember when I started my journey wanting to ask questions, but there wasn't anyone out there that had the band a long time to ask!

I'm off to a 5K! Hopefully my Polar will cooperate!

Day 4 and Behind?

Yep, that's me. Behind. That's how I'm starting 2011, but probably the most important thing is: I don't care. Seriously, I am continuing my work on balance. Not sweating the things that don't really matter - or maybe "matter", but I need to put into a better, more balanced perspective. So a list of random crap...

• I have 1000 unread posts in my Reader. I haven't been on the computer for pleasure in weeks. Weird.
• Work does not own me. I have proven that this holiday season. I worked reasonable hours and took time off. You know why? Because it didn't matter. Spending time with family and friends mattered. I prioritized and focused on the important stuff and got what had to be done, done. Go figure.
• I worked out my 4 times a week goal for the holidays, but I also ate whatever I wanted and enjoyed the season. I do think I gained some weight as my jeans are a bit tight, but I am the only one that notices (self, read and repeat - I am the only one that notices). This doesn't mean that I am not back on track with better choices and working out, it just means that there is a little bit of fluff, but it's temporary. (The scale is NOT the boss of me!)
• My Christmas decorations are only partially down. Yep, I'm behind. Oh well, by the end of the upcoming weekend everything will be put away.
• I am running a 5K this weekend. My goal is a bit different. My goal is to slow down. Strange, huh? Well my buddy has told me that I need to work on slowing down to finish a half marathon more comfortably. So that's what I am going to do. Oh, the half marathon comment? Uh yep, doing one. Don't know when, but this year doing one. (My BC buddy is doing TWELVE this year. Yep, 12, so I figured my lame ass could do one.)
• Wild hogs are a problem in Texas. Seriously. And, I am not just talking about the country or fondly referred to as the sticks. Also, since I am on a "wild" bullet, it's Opossum, not possum. Just sayin'
• I got really cool stuff for Christmas. A kettlebell (YAH!), a Garmin (I'll have to post more on that), a NEW Kindle, boxing mitts (cool ones that are more like gloves that hopefully my partner at BC can't knock them off as easily!), and some other stuff that I'm not remembering at the moment. Yep, me = spoiled.
• Biggest L0ser Couples starts tonight. There is a contestant (dude) that is 650lbs...yikes!

Oooo, Mega Million$ is like 8 bajillion dollars (OK, like $330 million) tonight. I have to go get a ticket! Gotta go!

Kindness and Massive FAIL!

I was out plodding along this morning, listening to music, and really enjoying my jog. I started thinking about recent trends in posts and what came to mind is how we are unkind to ourselves. Self flagellation really.

It's the holidays and I think it's fair to say that they somewhat (well at least here in the US) revolve around food. I am done feeling bad or guilty or whatever for eating a treat now and then. Just not going to do it. So I thought I'd jot down some of the strategies I have that I use to really keep this negative crap at bay.

The basics:

• On the day of the event, I eat like I normally would. I don't cut back on meals or whatever as it will lead to feeling more hungry at the event.
• During the holidays there is always "something" that comes up that gets in the way of exercising. Shopping, events, whatever. There is just a lot of stuff going on and everyone is busy. I set a goal of the number of times that I would exercise per week for the holidays. I then workout in the mornings. Period. Get it in and done. If I don't, it's easy to talk myself out of it. And, honestly, what else do I have to do at 5am in the morning other than sleep? ;)
• I make sure that I wear something that I am comfortable in when I go. I think this means something different to everyone. For me, it's something that I feel good in. Both in how it looks and how it fits.

The food:

I decide before I go what I am having. Huh? OK, I don't know what they will be serving, but here's what I do.

• Buffet - I am having 6 whatevers. (Savory, sweet, whatever - I get 6 - or some number.).
• Sit down dinner - I will eat a bit or two of everything on my plate. If something is super good, then I'll have more of that. And yep, I'm having dessert. I'll have a bite or two to determine if it's really really good. If it is, I enjoy what I want (even if *SHUDDER* it's the entire thing). If it isn't, I don't eat it because it's there or because I feel I have to. Bottom line, I don't. This took time to learn for me. The "rude" aspect of potentially insulting the host, etc. But I got over it, when/if I get a comment about how much (or little) I am eating, I just rave about how delicious it is and say that I'm full from the prior course. It has worked well so far!
• Drinks - I'll have 2 maximum.

Interestingly what I have found is that I actually eat less. Not because I have to, I feel guilty, or anything, just that I don't want to. Notice that I didn't say "can" have. I said I "am" having. It might be a minor distinction, but for me it makes a difference. I am trying to eliminate this "can" / "can't" / "good" / "bad" mentality.

But then, there's the major FAIL! That's right, no pictures. I am a TOTAL weirdo. I took a pic when I was getting ready on Friday and it started messing with my head and not in a good way. "Uh, it looks like THAT" and other crap like that, so I deleted the picture and said "screw it". Obviously, I still have work to do in this area and wanted to take a pic on Saturday, but we were running late and it just didn't happen. Oh well, if we do something for NYE, I'll try again...or maybe Christmas---Santa brought me a new pair of boots. : ) ....loooovvveee them!!!!

Notes to Self for this Weekend

Dear Fluffy,

So what you don't know anyone other than your hubby at all these events this weekend. You WILL be fine. You have suitable clothing (hopefully!) and have nothing to feel self conscious about. Just get over yourself and have a good time. You are NORMAL and have been for some time, you are stressing out over nothing.

How about taking some pics? You have very few of you and your hubby and both of you will be dressed up. Step 1 - get your camera and pack it. And, should you forget to do this cause you are an idiot, you have a frickin' phone. So NO excuses!

Go back and look at some pics. Take your own advice and look at how far you have come. Get going. And yes, you have eaten more crap than you normally do this week and will again this weekend. Big deal! It's life and it's the holidays. It's been reasonable. Again, get over yourself. In fact, according to your Polar you worked out 6 hours, 6 minutes for 3336 calories---you got in some bonus time and not because you felt like you "had to", but just cause you felt like it!

So, to recap, take a deep breath, finish getting packed up, relax and have a good time. And, one more thing - Get Over Yourself!

Happy weekend!

Procrastinating

There are about 8 bajillion things I could be doing right now, but I don't want to do any of them. So, instead I made a few collages of various pictures of the Christmas swag around the house...dang, I might just have to do one of those bajillion things now...(After all of this, I then forgot to hit "publish". HA!)

Behind!

The holiday rush is on. Presents, parties, etc. This past weekend we had a party here at our house. I think it went well and people had a good time. This coming weekend it's parties both Friday and Saturday. I thought it would be good to catch up on logging my polar results, and also write out what I am referring to as my holiday insanity plan to ensure that I don't lose focus on myself during this time of year which is my normal tendency.

Holiday Insanity Plan

• Movement is key for me. I need the stress relief and it makes healthy choices somehow easier on days I do. Exercise goal is a minimum of 4 times per week between now and Jan 1. Anything on top of that is bonus work!
• Maintain my weight, but do not feel pressure to weigh at all if I don't want to---once a week maximum. There are too many factors that WILL create weight flux (such as salt in the food I will have to eat at the dinner events) that will temporarily artifically inflate the scale. I will focus on how my clothes are fitting!
• I will be kind to myself. The holidays ARE stressful for me. I am acknowledging and recognizing that. I will try to ask for help and support as needed from my hubby.
• I am giving myself permission to eat treats. For me giving myself permission to eat whatever I want leads to me eating less of the treats, sometimes not any at all, and lessened guilt (I am still working toward NO guilt). Proof is in the pudding and I have to remember that. I can't remember when I fully adopted this change - it must be about 10 months ago now - and it has worked. I maintained and shockingly lost more weight which I didn't expect, but quite a few books have said that this way of eating can and usually does lead to exactly what I have experienced. Go figure.

Have you thought about your holiday insanity plan?

Last week (12/8) - Polar Round Up:
Time: 4 hours 39 mins
Calories: 2663

Prior Week (11/29) Polar Round Up:
Time: 4 hours 33 mins
Calories: 2663

Fingers? What are you talking about?

The birthday weekend was great, I'll post some pics in another post. But I have to tell you about my present. My hubby had been saying for a few days when he should give me my present. So, I said, on my birthday. It went on and on, but it was pretty cute because he seemed excited? Anxious? Not quite sure.

Anyway, he gave me this wrapped box which is about a 12 inch cube and it's heavy. I think I'm getting a kettle b3ll because it was on a list of ideas. So, ooo and ahhh first that he wrapped the gift himself which I appreciated and said I don't think it's a dog, so must be a bell. He got a weird look on his face and I didn't think much of it. Well it was a dog.

Not this dog (my friend's):

But this dog which we saw in a furniture store that I thought would look cute on the corner of the desk in the office:

I started laughing because of earlier saying about a dog to find this dog statue. Meanwhile my hubby keeps saying, do you know why he has on a necklace (which he did - plastic thing)? And I said, no. His reply - cause he doesn't have any fingers. Well he just keeps repeating this. And I am thinking, what the HELL? So next thing I know he's wiggling his finger and THIS IS WHAT I SAW!!! It was still on his finger, but you get the idea. Dang, I wish I could get a better picture of it, but this will have to do.

O-M-G!!!! I can't remember if I put this in my blog or not, but when we got married I had a wedding band. No engagement ring, just a plain old tungst3n band. Why? Because I liked the idea of him getting me a big rock and when we had selected it and he was going to get it, I told him I wouldn't wear it. Yep, I just knew that a solitare would drive me nuts in the long run and I wouldn't wear it. It just wasn't "me". But I had to KNOW that he was willing to fork over the money to get me one. As soon as he was ready, it just passed because it was the "right" ring for me.

I wanted a ring that was wide and flat and sparkly. I'd go through spurts of looking, but figured one day when I wasn't looking I'd find it and sure enough. We went into a store for the fun of it and there it was.

Needless to say when he gave it to me, I was SHOCKED! It was unexpected and I cried and cried. Honestly, I had no idea that I would react this way, but I have to tell you that this ring just made me feel loved. The diamonds, right? Nope, it's stupid, but it was him sneaking around getting it, getting it resized, the creative way he gave it to me and telling me - you ALWAYS deserved a nice ring. This is long overdue and I love you...

Step awaaayyy from the decorations!

Potato peels should not go in the garbage disposal. OK, I have been putting them in a garbage disposal forever. Seriously - as long as I have ever had a garbage disposal. I may have heard you weren't supposed to, but it had not been a problem...Until the night before Thanksgiving, trust me - do NOT put potato peels down your garbage disposal. Thankfully (ha ha - Thanksgiving and all) my hubby is uber handy. He was able to fix the problem without calling a plumber. (In my defense, the drain was super clogged already which I did point out to hubby while he was working on it...quickly followed by, but I WON'T do it again. I promise.)

Once I get started on decorating for Christmas, I get out of control. Like seriously Martha St3wart outta control. I was done. Then addressed the areas that I cut corners on thinking "that will be fine". To - huh, that needs lights. Oh wait, so does that area. To the yard which then led to oooooo - the house needs lights (will be up Monday). OK, this insanity has GOT to stop! Oh, and the garland stuff - nope, no store bought assembled stuff for me. I have to make it. Here's an example:

I'll put another big long obnoxious post with more pics when I have time. I'm trying to get work wrapped up so we can leave tomorrow for our getaway weekend. Might be nice if I got around to figuring out what we will need and start packing. Oh well, at least we're driving which provides more flexibility if needed. I seriously do not feel 42 (well, technically not until the weekend). But I find myself looking in the mirror at my face trying to determine if I look 42. As if there is some way 42 is "supposed" to look? Anyway, will hit the road tomorrow and will bring a camera...

T-Week Goals Hit

Thankfully I got my 5 exercise sessions in last week, because I sure as heck kept my other promise of eating on Thanksgiving! The meal itself was pretty healthy, it was me saving room for dessert! And, boy, was it good!

I didn't weigh and don't plan on it until later in the week or maybe even the week after---who knows. Bottom line - it was one day of crap fest and I worked out plenty.

This week there should be a couple spins on my new BIKE! Hubby has been wanting us to get bikes for some time. We went to look over the weekend and there were some good sales. We were all ready to get two on Saturday and the bike guy said he would hold them and to come back on Sunday and we'd save 20% more! I had picked out a different bike and then I saw the bike that another blogger had...it was the bell that was the clincher for me! (Sorry - can't remember who it was. I guess I wasn't kidding when I commented that I hoped you didn't mind if I got one as well!)

We spent the weekend getting the house decorated. Santa has definitely puked all over the place, but we now have to do the cleaning again from putting everything up. I complained the entire time, which is typical, but then as expected I like how it looks when it's finished. It's our first year in this house for the holidays, so we are having a holiday party in a couple weeks.

This coming weekend is my birthday. We're headed to Oklahoma to stay in a cabin for the weekend, so it will only be a 4 bootcamp week this week and next unless I can get myself motivated to go to one of the night sessions to get a 5th one in. If not, no big deal and we're planning (fingers crossed on decent weather!) on doing some hiking this weekend.

Polar Round Up:
Time: 5 hours 35 mins
Calories: 3054

WIW

Thanks for the comments on the last post. Good stuff by all, so thought I'd cover off on a few things first:

Cody - Banana R3public. Fortunately I am by an outlet though. I don't usually have an issue with the rise or the length and the pants are very professional looking, but yet can be paired with other "stuff" to look cool enough for a night out. Other favorites: Ann Tayl0r L0ft and JCr3w. (I hope you are feeling better!)

Justawallflower - Believe me I am a frugal gal! I buy expensive ones rarely and wear them until they just look worn out. I am going to bet though as you continue on your downward journey that you might start getting tempted as well! And most definitely, I highly recommend at least going and trying LOTS of stuff on. : ) I'll take some pics and also the ones that I did get.

Sam - As you shrink, I think you might like shopping a bit more. (I honestly am not a fan of it and do it more out of necessity.) And, you'll also find that your options for getting bargains really expand.

Matilda - Well said! That's my thinking as well.

I figured I should figure out where I am in advance of the holiday weight wise (Weigh In Wednesday). I don't plan on weighing right after the holiday until mid-week or so the following week. I just don't think it's a good idea as the day after I KNOW I will be up weight wise. There is just no way (ha) not to be with the sodium content, etc. and why put that stress on me. I don't weigh every week any more, just now and then to see what's going on and if I'm within my range. Today was a new low, 129 lbs. I seriously got on and off that scale 5 or 6 times, but everytime the same thing. Good cushion for the holiday season, but man that sure would be weird to stay in the 2's!

Happy Thanksgiving to people here in the States. And, to each and everyone that actually stops by and reads this - THANK YOU!

How Much Would You Pay?

A number of years ago I changed my thinking on work pants / slacks. For me, spending $80 - $100 on a pair of pants that fit well while expensive wasn't really that expensive if I factored in the number of times that I was going to wear them, the style, and the quality (cause hello - if I spend $25, but they don't make it past 5 times through the laundry, did I really get a good deal?).

It's kind of like a MPG calculation, I have a DPW (dollars per wear) calculation. Now, don't get me wrong, I really prefer spending much less and am always on the lookout for a bargain. (I recently got some work slacks that are priced at some insane price like $120 for $50 with a combination of a sale and a coupon. That's how I prefer to buy them and they will last for a year easily of wearing them all the time.)

But let's talk jeans. I can get cheap jeans, but when I hit my original goal weight, I got an expensive pair. Let me tell you there is a BIG difference between cheap ones and expensive ones. I kept looking and found a pair that I put on and MAGIC! They fit like a glove, were long enough (I carry my height in my legs, not torso), and made my butt look good. Sadly, that $125 pair of jeans is now too big...(oh, and I swear they just get better looking with more washing!).

So, I'm on a hunt for a new pair, but I'm struggling a bit. (1) how much is too much to spend? But if I get a classic cut (such as not skinny) they won't go out of style and I can keep wearing them for years---it's back to DPW. So this one is really do I like them enough and do they fit well enough. Which leads me to (2), spandex is evil in my book. Period. I honestly would prefer my jeans to be without it because I want to buy a pair and KNOW that the dang things fit and are not really too big.

(OK, this is where I fess up to buying a pair of $100 jeans last month, swearing they fit, kinda feeling like they were going to be too big, freaking out about the size - uh no way, can I wear smaller, getting them, and YEP - too frickin BIG! Not horribly big, but definitely big and not "the magic" that I was seeking.)

So, I went to a Tru3 Religi0n outlet and tried some on there. I found a pair I really liked, but at the outlet, these jeans are still massive cash. And the added bonus, NO returns. You buy them, they are yours. I didn't really have 2 hours to walk around the store wearing them while I figured out how big they would get with the spandex (HA), the chick thought I should go down a size, so I left them there.

(Funny story - these jeans come in sizes like men's jeans. Which is really great, if you actually know what size you wear. I went wearing a really lovely outfit (NOT!) of a big sweatshirt and some pair of jeans I just shouldn't wear anymore. I honestly told the chick I have no idea what size I wear, but told her my dress/pants size currently (and why do I find that embarrassing?). So she said try these. I put them on and they were huge. Keep in mind this is a young girl with the next part, so I wasn't offended by what she said, she'll learn as she matures---or gets a customer that gets pissed off....so I show her so she can get an idea of how big they are and she says. "Oh, you really are the size you told me." Like I said, I just let it go. Hoenestly, who is going to LIE when you are buying a massively expensive pair of jeans?????)

I am also not totally convinced that you can't get this brand at a decent price elsewhere where I can return them, so more searching must occur. So how much? Check out the pic below. GULP! Read the tag though, it really cracked me up----they better be some special jeans at that price!!!! (How much would you spend?)

PS - Workout 2 of 5 completed.