Monday, December 29, 2008

Not gonna do it...

Weigh in. But the reason is pretty good. I've extended my stay out of town and don't have my scale. I think I gained and the last thing I need to do is add a scale factor in there with the variables that adds.

I don't think I did too badly considering, but far from stellar. Plus as most people have probably realized, I gain very easily. My exercise has been horrible. Two days only.

I am feeling particularly crampy today - TTOTM. And that is definitely having an impact on my desire to do much more than lay around.

Oh well. I have decided that until January 5 when I return to work, I'm not putting pressure on myself.

Exercise - um, does this qualify? ;-P
  • Mon - OFF
  • Tues - OFF
  • Wed - 65 mins
  • Thurs - 65 mins
  • Fri - OFF
  • Sat - OFF
  • Sun - OFF

Monday, December 22, 2008

Weekly Weigh In

Let's just say that yesterday I ate like it was Christmas. A whole ton of stuff and a whole ton of salt, so I am not at all surprised that the scale is reflecting a HUGE gain of 3.5 lbs. I have got to get a handle on things. It has nothing to do with restriction. It is me making bad choices and eating crap. Regardless of how tight I am or was - chocolate, cookies, chex mix, frapps, etc. would still go down just fine. Classic eating around the band.

I wasn't going to weigh in and then decided I needed to see the damage. Needless to say I am freaking out. Tomorrow I am leaving town, so it could get worse. I am going to try to do my best to navigate all of this and not obsess as much as I possibly can. I swear it is hardest when you are trying to maintain and all the pressure people put on you to eat 'cause you are so thin'; 'you can have some'; 'it's the holidays'; the litany of these sayings is endless! I do much better when I am losing. How is it that losing is an easier goal than maintaining? I just don't get it. Oh well, cause I am back on the losing goal so that should be easier then, huh? The struggle and battle never ends!

Exercise for past week:
  • Mon - 106 mins
  • Tues - 105 mins
  • Wed - OFF
  • Thurs - OFF
  • Fri - 120 mins
  • Sat - 116 mins
  • Sun - OFF - too busy eating...*sigh*

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


....Of a sloth. That's pretty much what I have and always have had. I was thin to chubby in childhood and pretty much all through my late 20's I was thin to skinny with some maybe 20 lbs variations at the most. But I managed to do that by exercising a lot and being active all the time. In my 30's with some bad things that happened to me, I developed really really bad depression and my activity level changed to pretty much nothing other than going to work, but my sloth-like metabolism did not. So the weight piled on quickly because I would eat until I was full. Sloth-like metabolism + no activity + food = fat.

So what happened? I got even more depressed. Depression so bad that hospitalization was considered, but I was adamant that would throw me over the edge. The band was a last resort for me as I am sure it is for most others and was actually brought up as an option by my shrink. One of my complaints was never 'feeling' full. It took quite some time for me to get over the 'I'm a failure' and all that baggage that can occur with making such a decision. But it was the right one for me and I'm glad I did. That being said, it is also extremely private. I am a private person anyway, so this isn't the only thing I keep 'close to my vest' as the saying goes.

Why I am explaining all this?
  • Cause I want to put my pics out here and had a set that had my head cut off, but showed it to my best friend and she said that where they were taken and what I had on could potentially compromise my identity. So I took the post down. I will try to take some that make me feel more comfortable.
  • I do exercise a lot. Refer back to sloth-like metabolism. Not only for the weight benefit though, but for stress and depression management.
  • Why didn't I lose all the 6lbs I gained the week before and only lost 3.5 lbs? See the post on 'December is Hard'. That same week I did all the exercise I had 1/2 slice of this choc mousse cake; 1/2 slice of cheesecake; and a king size bag of peanut M&M's. To some this might not seem like a lot, but refer back to my sloth-like metabolism. :-)
  • Why so much exercise? Once I get there I enjoy it. I also use this as my free time to watch whatever I want either on the TV there or purchase/rent stuff to watch on my iTouch.
  • Are you working out like a fiend the entire time? The first hour is always 'the workout'. It's hard and is what is probably what burns the 'real' calories. Anything above that is on the treadmill at usually a 4 mph pace. Sometimes with an incline and other times not. Depends on how my legs are feeling from the first hour. (Some days I do get a bit psycho though and do a long jog on the treadmill. I LOVE the rush.)
  • Why don't I weigh 120 lbs? My body is shifting and I think that is messing with my weight. (Shifting - as in shrinking 'cause clothes are fitting differently.) Remember - the scale is only one measure of progress. Does that mean I plan to be 120 lbs. Um, nope. I want to be 134 lbs and then use the Weight Watchers rule for maintenance which is to stay within 2 lbs. either way.

I am going out of town next week for Christmas (yippeee) for a last minute unplanned trip, so I am hoping I can get past all the temptations and stick to 100% bandster rules this week to get back to the 135.5 lbs where I was. It isn't the end of the world or anything and if it doesn't happen, I'll just keep plugging away. I am taking my workout 'stuff' with me and planning to workout while I am at my friend's. My goal for the trip will be to maintain whatever weight I leave with (you know what I mean).

Monday, December 15, 2008

Weekly Weigh In

Current weight: 138 lbs. Amount lost - 3.5 lbs from the previous week 6 lbs gained (141.5 lbs). Trying to get back to 135.5 where I was. At least going in the right direction. Still a significant difference though, but I'll just try not to focus on that. :-)

As I said yesterday, my exercise was up. Also seems weird too considering I put in nearly 60 miles (58) - love my iTouch for sure.

  • Mon - 125 mins
  • Tues - 122 mins
  • Wed - 95 mins
  • Thurs - 90 mins
  • Fri - OFF
  • Sat - 115 mins
  • Sun - 135 mins

Sunday, December 14, 2008

December is hard...

Man, it's birthday, then parties, then holidays, then stuff at work, then...It is ENDLESS. There is food anywhere and it is so easy to start grazing. Especially when it is yummy stuff that I like to eat. Well, I have changed some goals for the month. I am trying to get back to where I was 135.5 lbs, but other than that my goal is to maintain.

This week was not so good honestly. There were multiple work events and buffets and I sampled a lot of stuff. I didn't eat as much as I wanted to, so I did show some restraint (yeah me!), but I did have more than I needed to. It will be interesting to see my weigh in tomorrow. I am anticipating some sort of drop from the crazy six pound gain from last week and am hoping that I am not setting myself up for failure.

My exercise was awesome. My friends got me an Apple iTouch (seriously) for my birthday. I made a rule that I can only watch it (I already have an iPod and wrote a post somewhere about my love for it) when I am at the gym. So, it has worked out well. I have been catching up on some TV shows that I wanted to see and getting in long workouts at the same time. Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

To Fill or Not To Fill

I read a lot about people thinking that they need a fill. And, maybe they really do, but I wanted to share my thoughts on fills. The band is a tool. You must use it as such and you must make good choices...

Do you really really need a fill? Or maybe you just need...
  • An eating change
  • A behavior change
  • An activity change
An eating change
  • Are you eating what your provider told you what you are supposed to eat? Or are you eating crap? Be honest.
  • Are you avoiding liquid calories?
  • Are you eating the correct portion size? Seriously, try it. You will likely see that if you measure everything and quit when full or when the food is gone that within about 15-20 mins that you are full. (Brain delay is what I call it.)
  • Are you avoiding soft foods?
A behavior change
  • Are you eating only 3 times a day? Or if truly hungry and not head hungry making a wise choice in snacks?
  • Are you eating breakfast? (Even if a liquid one...My experience anyway was without breakfast of some sort it stalled my weight loss.)
  • Are you eating CONSCIOUSLY? Paying attention to indications that you really are full? (Some people experience a runny nose, a burp, etc.)
  • Are you grazing between meals?
  • Are you drinking liquids while you eat?
  • Are you eating when you aren't hungry?
An activity change
  • Are you moving? Like real exercise?
  • Walk. No excuses not to. Work up the time if you have to, but I'd suggest 30 mins every day or with one day off. If you increase the time, then you can shorten the number of days.
  • Get a pedometer. Walk 10,000 steps a day.
  • EVERYONE has the time. Be honest about how much you sit around or watch TV. You can watch the TV at the gym while you are walking on the treadmill.
Bottom line - if you are or are not doing the things above as appropriate to what I suggested and are not losing weight, then I think you need a fill. If you aren't doing these things and aren't losing weight, then I don't think you need a fill. That's my two cents and I'm sticking to it!

Exercise so far this week:
  • Mon - 125 mins
  • Tues - 122 mins
  • Wed - 95 mins

Monday, December 08, 2008

SIX Pounds??? What the )(#*$)@(#$?

Yep, Monday - official weigh in day and I am up SIX pounds. There is NO way that I ate 21,000 extra calories to make up the SIX pounds, but that is what the scale says today so I am recording it. Seriously, that is what it would take to gain SIX pounds. 21,000 EXTRA calories above what my body needs to stay alive and activity!
  • Did I eat things that were not the best choices? Yes, I was out of town for my birthday.
  • Did I drink alcohol? Yes, but seriously not as much as I thought I would. And, mixer was diet soda.
  • Did I exercise? Nope, not like I normally do, BUT we walked everywhere. So, it wasn't like I was just sitting and eating the whole time. (Only one day last week of 'real' gym exercise.)

Theory: water weight. WAY more salt and other no so good stuff than normal and definitely not enough water/liquids consumed. (Well, except alcohol.)

Let's just say that my behind will be at the gym this week and I will see most if not all of this gain OFF next Monday when I weigh in.

Goals for this week:
  • Gym one day off only.
  • Count points. Stay within them.
  • Drink enough liquids (I don't say water cause I hate water. I drink a lot of tea. And yep - caffeine in it, but don't care. I can't give up everything!)
  • DON'T obsess! I have given myself permission to obsess until 5:00 today. After that - done!
And yes, I did give myself permission and all that other stuff, but as I said at the beginning - my irritation is there is NO way I had that many extra calories. I thought maybe 3 or 4 lbs max - which still seems like a lot to me - but never did I imagine SIX! And, I am venting for all of your reading pleasure! HA!

Current weight: 141.5!!! That's right - back up in the 140's (previous 135.5 lbs). OK, I think I'm done for the moment...gotta catch up on everyone else. :-)

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Giving Myself a Vacation

I had mentioned that this weekend is my birthday. I am heading out of town for the weekend with my close friends for a whole lotta celebrating! That's right - drinking and eating. I am giving myself permission for this special time to do whatever. I find that giving myself permission usually tends to keep me on an even keel.

In fact, the vacation has started a bit early. I have only worked out one day this week. :-) I had originally decided that I would work out Mon-Thurs to offset any damage. Well those plans didn't work out so well and honestly I'm a little burned out and excited about going out of town, so I am also going to officially 'vacation' from the gym until Monday of next week.

I'll be back on Monday. I'm heading out tomorrow and most likely won't be back before that. Have a great weekend everyone and I sure hope everyone else is on track for the week!!

Monday, December 01, 2008

Weekly Weigh In

Well, I had decided I would be happy with remaining the same weight as last week considering the huge loss (4 lbs.) and I am trying. :-) I am focusing on the fact that what the heck is 1.5 lbs really anyway? I'm just so close to the 100 lbs mark though I can taste it. Plus, let's be real - I worked out a lot this week. Geez...

Current weight: 135.5 lbs. Amount lost - big goose egg.

  • Mon - 111 mins
  • Tues - 95 mins
  • Wed - 90 mins
  • Thurs - Thanksgiving (OFF)
  • Fri - 90 mins
  • Sat - 113 mins
  • Sun - OFF